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Artist: Joshua Grimmie
Title: Breathe Fire
Length: 3:15
Genre(s): Electronic, Pop, Acoustic Pop
Written By: J.Grimmie, C.Hudson
Produced By: Joshua Grimmie, MakeAScene
Label: Five Pesky Kids Records
From The Album: PORCELAINHEART
Breathe Fire is a song by American singer-songwriter Joshua Grimmie. It is the third single to be released from his debut studio album "PORCELAINHEART". The track follows on from the seductive LosOscuros produced "Caramel Dreams", which showcased a far more sexual side to Joshua and his music, also delving further into his experimentation with electronic music. "Breathe Fire" takes on the form of a mid-tempo pop ballad and incorporates multiple genres and singing styles, making it a rather unique and standout song in itself. Dipping in and out of the realms of R&B, electronica and acoustic pop, the closing track is rather hard to define and pinpoint, seen more as an amalgamation of all the best parts heard on the record beforehand. The vocal performance on Breathe Fire has also been highlighted as a standout among his discography as it showcases his versatility in many ways. From soft, caressing whisper-like coos in the verses to husky, chain smoker growls in the chorus and then rounded off by light near-rapping in the showstopping bridge, the song is constantly switching. The intensely personal song was mainly thrown onto paper by Grimmie, airing his scattered thoughts as he was enduring a very difficult period in his life. He knew that he wished to write a song, channelling his frustration and unresolved issues but couldn't quite find the perfect formula for the words he wished to say. Joshua contacted Christopher Hudson, who he had worked with on "Ticking On It" just a few months prior, and the pair completed the song. It was written and recorded in late January 2017, making it one of the last songs for the project. The song was first premiered during a live acoustic performance on April 1st 2017 on the opening night of Grimmie's Unapologetic Tour. The official studio version was premiered on May 5th 2017 along with the album.
The song's production was handled by acclaimed duo MakeAScene, who are exclusively signed to Five Pesky Kids Records. They had previously worked with Grimmie a few months prior to this second meeting, where they produced the song Borrowed Scars which went on to make the final cut of the album. With a lot riding on this track, being the most personal and the closer of the record, Joshua knew that MakeAScene would be right for the job. Experienced in quirky, left-field indie pop and wacky requests and collaborations, the duo seemed more than qualified to tackle Breathe Fire, which Joshua had wild ideas for. While the final outcome of the song itself sounds rather placid, the planning and engineering behind it was rather complex due to all the sounds he wished to incorporate and how intricate everything had to be. With very raw lyrical content, Joshua did not want his vocals to be drowned out as his words and different deliveries would be the heart and soul of the song. He required production that was somehow subtle yet multi-layered and interesting, straying far from the typical downbeat production heard on your standard closing ballad. Drawing inspiration from the album opener "Don't Let It Go To Your Head" which combined dreamy strings as well as adrenaline rushing computer generated beats, Joshua wanted to replicate those mixture of sounds while focusing on a more sombre tone this time around. He believed that the opening and closing tracks should contain a common theme. All of Joshua's rough demos are performed on his acoustic guitar and, without realising it, he had already created the chords that would go on to be used in the final edit despite thinking of them are rather bare. The final version of "Breathe Fire" contains a soothing plucking of an acoustic guitar which is woven throughout the track, a staple in Grimmie's music and somewhat the bed and groundwork which allows the rest of the song's elements to grow and flutter over. Combined with electrically glitching, layered vocal ticks and edits alongside a repetitive, ear-worm drum roll and faint calls of police sirens drowning in the background, "Breathe Fire" is a magnificent brew of quirky production that acts as the perfect partner to the distressing lyricism.
Lyrically, Breathe Fire is by far Joshua's most personal song to date. He usually tells the stories he's witnessed but not necessarily experienced or been part of himself, making this closing track extremely special and close to his heart. Joshua opens up to his fans and any listener in regards to how he sees and feels about himself for the first time. Grimmie is known for being an extremely divisive and polarising figure within the industry, due to his political activism, blunt opinions and his generally forthright nature. In this song, we see that it is not just fans and music critics who grow tired of his ways, but it also has an impact on those he loves and even himself. It further proves that Grimmie's frank and plain-spoken approach is not a gimmick or ploy to appeal to certain demographics. He confesses that he hates the way his mind works and that he wishes his natural instincts were different. Joshua's intentions are always good but his actions may not translate that and be received the way that he intended due to his rather abrasive nature. The opening lines
"Try to look through new eyes but I guess my judgement's still clouded /'Cause whatever my response is, the crowd are always left astounded" tell us that no matter how Joshua approaches a situation, he always receives an overwhelmingly negative response and that it is a regular occurrence for him. "Breathe Fire" also sees Joshua document the impact his actions have on his partner, yet they are so quick and willing to overlook it. They love him for his flaws and all but he cannot understand why as he fails to even love himself.
"When you hear the thunder, you know that I'm out on the horizon/It doesn't scare you, so used to being struck with my lightning" is an example of how dedicated and immersed in the situation his partner is. A heavy theme throughout sees Joshua compare himself to a fire breathing dragon, hence the title. No matter how nice, quiet and reserved he is, he naturally "breathes fire" and hurts people regardless. This is a metaphor for his ability to offend and upset people unintentionally and that he sees himself as naturally destructive;
"But just when things have been such bliss for a while/The dragon awakes and I go ahead and breathe fire". The partially rapped bridge in the song serves as a conversation with "the man in the mirror" as Joshua calls himself out for his behaviour and attitude but it begins to delve a little deeper as it progresses. He starts to piece together the reasons behind his outlook on life and it somewhat suggests that being raised in a religious household that did not provide sufficient answers is one of the reasons why he's constantly questioning the world and so quick to defend those who are lambasted by segments of extreme religions -
"This child of God is raising hell and it's out of frustration/Realized it was the cross around my neck cutting the circulation". It seems that by the end of this section, Grimmie is starting to come to terms with who he is and that it will be impossible for him to change not only his entire personality, but his morals and beliefs will forever remain intact too. It's not an easy road but he'd rather stay true to himself than fake it to please others. He signs off the bridge with the line
"Write the words upon my grave so that they're never forgotten", meaning that even in death, his messages will still live on.
Joshua Says:Quote:"This song is the most important one that I have ever penned. I'm used to documenting the lives of others and putting my own spin on personal stories but I rarely go real deep and raw in regards to writing about my life. I think a huge part of that is solely down to my young age. I'm 19 and although I've experience a lot of emotions over the years and been in some shitty situations, I don't feel like I've lived enough to really talk about "life changing" or "heart shattering" experiences but there is one subject that haunts me and really impacts my life. I know I come across as a strong person but for the longest time...I've...hated myself. I still struggle with that today and I'm getting better but it still crops up from time to time. I was raised to be a good, loving person. Told to stand up for what is right and to help out others in need. I try my best to do that and be a voice for the unheard. For some reason, however, I'm always attacked no matter what I do. I'm either doing too much, too little or I'm just not good enough. I know that it's all down to how I present myself. I am fiery,
passionate, intense and probably over zealous at times. I just care a lot and want to do good in this fucked up world but when it's thrown back in your face and you're constantly told to shut up every single day, it takes its toll on you. I rarely let the comments from assholes on the internet get to me but sometimes I'm just caught in a moment and I see just one tweet, it doesn't have to be anything that shocking, but it sets me back and I go to an extreme. I either go into hiding for a bit and hate myself or lash out and make things worse. You know,
when people give you advice on how to get by in situations in life, one of the most common things that they say is "just be yourself". That is exactly what I'm doing and it doesn't go down well. It's not just within the industry, but among my family and associates too. I like to think that I have a good heart and good intentions but I just..get shot down. When being yourself is not enough, what the fuck do you do from there?"
"I haven't told many people this but around Christmastime last year, just 5 months ago, I...I..attempted to...to take my own life, basically. It was nothing to do with Twitter trolls but it was the realization that I can't change who I am. I can't swap my brain. I can't fake the rest of this lifetime. I'm stuck and I want out. I had some counselling after that and it kicked off a very slow process of acceptance. That's why this song was so important for me to write. It could seem like it's all self pity but it's really one big release for me and documenting a very dark yet enlightening period of my life. I have to get it off my chest and out there in order to fully move on from it. It's the most insightful song I've ever written and the reason it sits at the end of the album is because the next album will document where things went from there and how my life is right now. This only happened a few months ago and it's a chapter that came to an end but is pivotal in the creation of the next one."
"I brainstormed ideas onto a piece of paper, aggressively scribbling words and thoughts down onto the page with no real structure. It was just like one big vent and a total brain dump before I forgot what I wanted to say. I knew that I had to write about this significant period of my life in order to fully overcome it and REALLY allow my fans to connect with me not only as an artist but as a human being. I just didn't know how to formulate it. I had the ideas and multiple phrases and lines, but I couldn't cut it down and turn it into a song with a melody. It was just like a huge rant and a highly emotional teenage diary entry. I took the song to Christopher Hudson, feeling like he was the only artist I could go to in confidence and also feel like he wouldn't try to manipulate my work and take away the real essence of it. He has a talent for making multilayered, in-depth music that is still so melodically beautiful and catchy. He really puts the artists' lives and personality into the work. I had only met with Christopher a handful of times before going to him with these words. I felt comfortable with him, though. He too is a rather intense guy and I feel like he also related to a lot of the lyrics. He really invested his time and made sure that we crafted these lyrics as finely as possible. Christopher knew how much it meant to me and he could really see me struggling, so he called off the rest of his work for the day and we just had one big session. We hung out at his place, talked about everything and anything, had some food, just chilled and that helped ease the pressure. He was getting me to open up throughout the day and I had no clue that he was analyzing me the entire time, trying to really capture my essence, the way I articulate and present myself so he could translate it into the song. We'd take long breaks in between the writing so not to lose our heads. It was so refreshing and like free therapy. Just writing it down, sharing it with him and hearing him sing it back felt like a weight was lifted. I was finally telling my story."
"As this was a very heavy song in regards to its lyrics, I wanted production that would compliment it but not overpower. The multiple singing styles on the track alone already make it a real oddity among pop songs and to add "quirky" production could've been overkill but I knew that what I was aiming for would work...but it'd have to be done just right. If it was too left-field, I feared that the zany sounds would become overwrought and overshadow the entire meaning of the song and if it were too glum, it would wash out the lyrics and make it seem more dreary and soggy. I didn't want to end the album on a typical ballad. I brought in MakeAScene once again because they are experts in this unconventional music landscape. By that time, they had released their debut single "Give Me Something" with Oscar and I was really inspired by that one. It's totally frantic and peculiar but not overdone, letting the vocal track breathe and do its own thing. That is what I wanted for Breathe Fire. I had already handed them a basic demo with the guitar and the rough melody that Christopher and I had formed. I was shocked to hear them say that they loved the arrangements on the guitar. That was just whipped up on the spot so I'd have at least something backing the vocals and it was not that inventive. They told me it was perfect to build on. I wanted acoustic guitars in there anyway as I wished for the song to contain almost all of the sounds heard on the album. "Don't Let It Go To Your Head", the first track perfectly combines the strings, the electronic beats and the light urban flavor, so I wanted "Breathe Fire" to do the same and have both songs act like bookends, with the more concentrated songs sandwiched in between."
"We re-recorded the strings in the studio and I thought it would be a good idea to have like a deliberate screech on the chords, coinciding with the idea of not being perfect and how you're expected to sound. We kept on building with the guitar and then they brought in a rather tinny drum roll which adds more of a meatier beat but doesn't overpower at all. It was like a tripping and trickling sound, sort of reminding me of water on tip roofs and I think it sat along beautifully with the mental images of a rebirth underwater, which I talk about in the bridge of the song. It was still lacking something that made it that little bit quirkier, though. We had the strings, we had the sparse beat but we lacked that electronic tinge which was present throughout a lot of the record. It was sounding great but lacked a uniqueness. That's when I was told to go into the booth and record random ad-libs. It was awkward as hell standing in there, not knowing what I was doing, singing into a microphone with no music while two people watched. I was in there for like an hour just doing all different kinds of "hey!"s, "oh!"s, "yeah!"s and "ay!"s. I trusted that they knew what they were doing though. What they did was take my vocals, autotune them, chop them up, distort them and just layer them over one another. It created this weird yet magical glitching, malfunctioning sound and because of the melody I was singing it, the edits fit perfectly. We attached them to the front of the song, giving it an extended opening as well as at the end and blending it into the mix throughout the entire track. The final addition was suggested by me. A police siren. Why not? I thought that it was really represent the idea of an emergency and hopelessness. When I listen to the track, I get the mental image of a guy out in the wilderness on his own just running away from everything and trying to find a lake to wash himself clean in. He is alone, thinks he has nobody but help is there. He just doesn't want to acknowledge it...a bit like I did. The muffled sirens show that help is on its way but it may be too far out to help before it's too late."
Oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, eh, oh
Oh, oh, ay, oh, oh, eh oh
Oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, eh, oh
Oh, oh, ay, oh, oh, eh oh
Try to look through new eyes but I guess my judgement's still clouded
'Cause whatever my response is, the crowd are always left astounded
If there's something on this overworked mind, I should throw the key
But the deadly bark and the bite are forever begging to be set free
You try your best to soothe when this heart is beating irregular
Bang, bang, I lose my head once again, always going for the jugular
I turn on my heels, back into the woods, I keep on running wild
Fleeing from it all but my terrors still loom way up in the sky
Why do you even bother to seek me out and help calm all my storms?
Don't let me in again, this wolf only leaves everything torn
When you hear the thunder, you know that I'm out on the horizon
It doesn't scare you, so used to being struck with my lightning
You tell me that it's all okay, that tomorrow is another day
Acting as if those wounds don't even sting
Tired eyes as it's been so long, knuckles white from holding on
I try to suppress the blaze that roars within
I'm so fucking hard to love but I swear, I'm getting better
Learning to put down the gloves, turn down the pressure
It always pains me to know that I go and hurt you so
Tame this volcano with your waves, so blue and bold
Close the door, stitch my lips, don't wanna make a sound
Medicate these thoughts, I'll try to turn it back around
But just when things have been such bliss for a while
The dragon awakes and I go ahead and breathe fire
I breathe fi-i-ire, I breathe fire
I breathe fi-i-ire, I breathe fireA rainbow shines new light but as I reach out, it suddenly fades
My touch must be tainted, much better off all bound and chained
When I step to the microphone, they're already sounding the horns
When I pick your favorite roses, I go and get blood over the thorns
Constantly at war, why do you want to make peace time and time again?
Always fearing you'll drop the bomb of "I think we should just be friends"
You tell me that it's all okay, that tomorrow is another day
Acting as if those wounds don't even sting
Tired eyes as it's been so long, knuckles white from holding on
I try to suppress the blaze that roars within
I'm so fucking hard to love but I swear, I'm getting better
Learning to put down the gloves, turn down the pressure
It always pains me to know that I go and hurt you so
Tame this volcano with your waves, so blue and bold
Close the door, stitch my lips, don't wanna make a sound
Medicate these thoughts, I'll try to turn it back around
But just when things have been such bliss for a while
The dragon awakes and I go ahead and breathe fire
I breathe fi-i-ire, I breathe fire
I breathe fi-i-ire, I breathe fireI must take a deep breath and think before I speak
All the chambers of my heart have conflicting rapid beats
Is it venom or passion that's running through these veins?
Whatever the substance, it's driving everyone fucking insane
With a simple little breath, I create another predicament
Pounce on the next victim and start snapping ligaments
All that I want to do is help the world with my visions
I fall at the last hurdle, hit the wrong button, call that Clinton
Head under water, try to put out these fiery lungs
The colder the shoulder helps this mind to finally numb
Rebirth in the rivers, I was in search of something spiritual
But now I'm kicking out and choking on the umbilical
This child of God is raising hell and it's out of frustration
Realized it was the cross around my neck cutting the circulation
Faith just can't help this and no army is ever gonna stop it
Will never fly like a peaceful dove, born to soar like a rocket
I try my hardest but you can never please everyone who's watching
Write the words upon my grave so that they're never forgotten
I'm so fucking hard to love but I swear, I'm getting better
Learning to put down the gloves, turn down the pressure
It always pains me to know that I go and hurt you so
Tame this volcano with your waves, so blue and bold
Close the door, stitch my lips, don't wanna make a sound
Medicate these thoughts, I'll try to turn it back around
But just when things have been such bliss for a while
The dragon awakes and I go ahead and breathe fire
I breathe fi-i-ire, I breathe fire
I breathe fi-i-ire, I breathe fireOh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, eh, oh
Can Be Compared To:
The video begins with the creaking of a door and the image of Joshua walking through them, transitioning from a darker setting to a slightly lighter one. As the camera follows from behind him, we can only see the back of his figure which is slightly darkened due to the dimness of the area. No music is playing as of yet. He continues walking further into the room which looks like a staging area filled with instruments set up for a band practice. The area is highlighted by a spotlight and has a light mist floating throughout. As he walks further in, his name "Joshua Grimmie" appears on the screen in his signature logo font followed by the title of the song "Breathe Fire", using the bold font used on the cover. The titles appear on his back, between his shoulder blades as he stands center of the camera. Joshua's footsteps are the only sound heard until he approaches a stool in the centre of the area. He sits down and the intro of the track begins to play. As it does, the camera pans around Grimmie and the room, giving different shots of him sat on the stool, looking very saddened. When the first line of the first verse comes in (
"Try to look through new eyes but I guess my judgement's still clouded") it is one of the only times that we see Joshua actually singing parts of the song as the video serves as more of a narration to the action seen throughout the clip.
As the first verse continues, Joshua is seen in many parts of the dim room, playing on different instruments. Again, as the video doesn't directly sync with his actions, the instrument he appears to be playing may not be heard at that point in the song. For example, he is seen banging on drums when the actual beat at that point is very mellow and actually lead by a guitar. The footage just acts as a montage, showing him trying out all of these instruments. As the verse progresses and the more he tries these instruments, he seems increasingly flustered each time and is constantly stopping as if he is messing up the piece he's supposed to be practising. It constantly loops around, showing him sat on the stool singing then at the piano, followed by Grimmie on the guitar and then at the drums. These scenarios keep repeating rapidly and each time we see him, he appears more angered. At one point he puts his hands on his head and lets out a yell, which is dubbed over by the track, before punching down hard on the keys of the piano. He shakes his head violently and puts down his guitar. Grimmie is also seen violently smacking a set of cymbals with his drumsticks before standing up and storming off in a rage. He is no longer sat on the stool in the centre either, now seen standing next to it with his head in his hands before quickly turning around and ferociously kicking it over.
The music stops briefly before heading into the chorus. It is now in a different setting, outside in a misty and rather cold lake area. We see the front of an old, banged up 1992 Volkswagen Jetta sat among the grass with the headlights on and engine running. As soon as the car revs up and heads for the screen, the music resumes. The back of the car is shown as it drives into the lake. It cuts to Joshua who is wearing a light blue jacket while sat in the driver seat. He looks confused yet oddly at piece as he looks around and sees the water slowly filling up the car. Again, he doesn't mime the words of the song as it just plays over the rather upsetting action. He has driven to his death, potentially, and he seems totally fine with it. As the chorus progresses, the water rises further. Joshua sits back in his seat and closes his eyes, even running some of the water through his hair and rubbing it as if in a shower, taking the whole thing lightly.
For the second verse, Joshua is now looking rather panicked and it is clear he is having second thoughts. The water level is rising dangerously high. He unbuckles his seat belt and moves around the car, trying to navigate through the water and seemingly find a way out. It appears to be no use though. As we lead into the pre-chorus and chorus once more, Joshua is now screaming out for help. Slamming on the roof, shaking the doors, kicking on the windows and doing everything humanly possible to try escape but it's too late. He presses his head up to the roof and screams out, looking terrified and pained. It's the only place not filled with water and is key to his last gasps of oxygen. Joshua is then consumed by the water as the chorus comes to an end. At first he seems panicked, screaming out only for bubbles of water to travel from his mouth. He winces and the camera zooms into his clenched fists which slowly loosen up as the bridge of the song comes in...it appears that he may have lost consciousness or even died.
The first half of the "rap" bridge is aided by shots of Joshua laying still under the water. His eyes are closed and he appears limp and lifeless. We're given different shots of his body, waves of the water and the car as it sinks further into the murky waters. After the line
"The colder the shoulder helps this mind to finally numb", Joshua's eyes suddenly open and the music stops. Calmly, he turns around and pulls off the headrest of his seat and uses the prongs at the end of it to smash through the window. He swims out and a parting shot of his legs kicking as they travel through the window is shown. It cuts to Joshua reemerging in the distance, standing like a spooky figure within the mist of a swamp. He is now at the opposite end which is shallow, allowing him to stand. As the bridge resumes with
"Rebirth in the rivers, I was in search of something spiritual", he wades throw the lake and feels around in the water. It is now apparent that this was NOT a suicide attempt but a REBIRTH of some sorts, taking into account the line used, the way he now seems to be appreciating his surroundings and he also takes off his jacket, leaving it behind in the water as if "shedding" his old self and re-emerging with a new look.
When the chorus repeats for the last time, Joshua is now on the cold banks of the lake. While it still appears rather biting in atmosphere, the sky is much brighter and a lot of the fog and rain has cleared up. He stumbles a lot due to his legs being frozen but he stumbles on. The icy blue colours represent a "freshness" and clear air as he needed to get out of his head and start afresh. It all makes sense listening to the lyrics and how he "breathes fire". Joshua was looking for a way to put out those flames and become a different person. He continues walking into a wooded area, stumbling and slipping on the overgrown grass.
As the chorus comes to an end, the video seemingly loops back to the beginning but with a difference. Yet again, Joshua is seen from the back whilst opening that creaking door and entering the staging area once more. However, he is now soaked from his time in the car and the room is trashed. This is his second go at it, wanting to start again after his "rebirth". As the parting
"Oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, eh, oh" plays, the camera pans out from Joshua sat behind the drum kit. He looks down and takes a deep breath, psyching himself up for round two. As the music stops, it cuts to a profile view (side on) of Joshua. His mouth is opened, still catching his breath and shaken from the icy waters. A look of sheer determination is spread across his face. He picks up the drumstick, still looking dead ahead. He ferociously slams it down but before we see him hit the drum, the video suddenly cuts to black.
