"of the Chocolate? No." Dallas chuckles and sits beside Dustyn on the back of the van. He hugs Dustyn tight to hopefully warm him more than the now damp towel will. Dallas isn't a fan of toblerone.the point always seems to poke the roof of his mouth. "That jayne is a weird one. You think that semi innocent thing she has going on is an act?" Dallas wasn't sure where he stood on the newest person he's met. If she disappeared he wouldn't mind,if she stayed he wouldn't mind. Dallas looks up and nods to the arriving reily. He looks around at the fire,the nude men and back again. "Anyone else feel like they're in a beer commercial?" He jokes.

Jayne dramatically coughs at the exhaled smoke and waves it away. "Smoking those things,I wouldn't want to." Jayne says,now standing with Erich and Billy.she stands on the other side of Erich so the smoke is blocked. She didn't follow a lot of Billy's exploits andeven if she did,she doesn't think anyone actually does the rough sex thing. She thinks it's all a joke that people pretend to do.

Erich doesn't think much of Billy's question. He and the rest of the hess clan have had this discussion many times. It passed time on long road trips. "It's remote enough.but I think you'd want someplace warmer and with larger wildlife. The cold water would probably preserve them more than you'd like. Not to mention,is that a peat bog? I have no idea what they are,but I hear England is crawling with the bastards. Now if I was going to dispose of a body? I'd steal a wood chipper. Toss victim into the wood chipper so that it sprays into a body of water.fish eat most of the remains. Then,you dismantle the wood chipper, discarding the parts in various metal recycling places." Erich rattles off. It was kinda complicated,but if perfect murders were simple,the world would be less crowded. Erich tosses his bag of m&m's to Billy and grins. " You'll have to crush the em up but each one is coke with a thin candy shell. Melts in your mouth,not in your hand" he tells Billy, quoting the Candy's slogan. Erich was a master smuggler and took pride in his Craft. The bag even looked to be factory sealed and weighed the exact same as a normal bag. " No need to pay me. Drugs aren't to be sold. I'm not a rat bastard."

Dallas looks over at Jayne,who seems very comfortable hanging around bily and Erich while barely covered with A towel. "Yeah,I wouldn't be surprised if she's an undercover dominatrix m..or slave. I know she fits somewhere in that spectrum." Dallas laughs. there was no way she was the lotus flower blooming out of the mud that was the hess clan. Sweet And fun people,but
definitely not the moral type. "Really?! Then I guess we are good. The only horror movie I've seen with gay people was the kind of movie I don't watch! " Dallas tells Dustyn while looking everywhere but his face. He leans back and retrieves a pound coin from under the vAn seat. "Lucky me! Dinner is on me, finally I can afford nice things for you, Dusty." He says sarcastically and adjusts his imaginary monocle.

Jayne gives a small laugh and shakes her head. "Not hardly, Billy. In fact,you make me so dry,I'm scared that when I walk the sheer friction will cause me to spontaneously combust." She says,rubbing her hands together to demonstrate the friction. Even if she was Into men,Billy wouldn't even be on her radar. Riley,maybe. Oscar? If he had different hair. His curly hair with her curly hair could lead to a tangles. Scott...the whole uncircumcised thing creeped her out. Dustyn and Dallas were gay. Billy? Had no redeeming qualities to her.

Erich, clearly thinks Billy is joking as nobody would actually plan a murder around someone they hardly knew. "Yeah,we should be so lucky." Erich quips in response to the Blake comment. "He's such an asshole. A glorified groupie." He spats. He saw nothing wrong with fucking ones way to the top,as long as one wasn't delusional about it.

Jayne,who had heard the body disposal conversation, giggles and adjusted her towel. "You guys are over thinking this. You never watched breaking bad?! Put them in a plastic barrel filled with muratic acid. " She says simply,before turning around and heading towards the tent. She was ready for some warm clothes.

Erich looks at the bag of now crushed m&Ms. "You know,the idea was to crack the ends and pour turn good stuff out..." He wails, looking at the interior of the bag.there was candy shell very intermixed with the powder." Fuck it,I'll have mutli colored snot." Erich says before dipping his key into the bag and taking several bumps. " That'll put hair on your chest!" He says loudly

"yeah,you're actually about 6 foot tall and ill tempered." Dallas grins at Dustyn. The man was by far the sweetest person Dallas had ever met,much less dated. He grunts as he leans down to grab Dustyn by the big toe. " Oh yeah,these are totally going on fuck yeah,it's Dustyn's feet." He says loudly,while squeezing dustyns toe gently.he didn't get the foot thing,but he liked dustyns feet. So maybe those people on the internet knew something he didn't. Dallas scoffs at the idea of knowing the value of a pound. "It's like a buck or so,I think. But when do I get to hold cold hard cash? " He says whole twirling the coin in his hand.dallas rarely carried cash,so it was a treat to have a coin in his possession. He pretends he is going to throw it before asking,"think I could nail Jayne with it from here?"

Jayne makes no attempt to hide her disgust at what Billy says. " Ew! Were you not hugged as a child?" She asks Billy, genuinely concerned. She really cannot grasp the idea of sex being anything but gentle. She stops walking away and sits down on a log, carefully adjusting her towel to cover her. She pats the log and nods to Billy. "Billy, do to do these things with people you actually like? Is it against your will?!" She asks in a whisper. Erich just moans,"Jesus." And buries his face in his hands. If he didn't know better,he would assume she's making fun. He guesses being raised by an exploitation film director CAN damage children.

Erich listens to Billy and his dislike of daytime tv. He starts laughing as it sounds very familiar. "Jeez,Billy. You would fit right in with American conservatives. Toss in some remarks about breeding anchor babies and some random conspiracy about the clintons! " He laughs very hard, thoroughly entertained. Erich shivers slightly and stuffs a hand in his pocket. "I love antiques roadshow. I dig all that old shit. But maybe it's different here. For the most part our version just has bewildered people bringing in grandma's junk". Erich explains. While not the most rock and roll hobby,he and Selene do frequent antique sales pretty frequently. He figured everyone needed an unexpected hobby.erich looked rather downtrodden that Billy wasn't into the idea of cracking each candy open. "Do you want it fast,or do you want it right? Look at the craftsmanship,man! I make each of these myself. The correct color and font took ages to work out. I hand paint those M's." Erich mentions,handing the bag to Billy. There probably were still a few that hadnt been cracked by rough handling. In a surprise move, Jayne clears her throat and holds out her hand.

"well, naturally when someone turns Madonna off." Dallas agrees with Dustyn,"we aren't going forwl sainthood here." He says as if anger over lack of Madonna was perfectly rational. Dallas considers grabbing Dusty's foot again,but is aware of the towel.hes fairly certain all of weekend had seen each other naked... seriously,it was like a nudist colony over there. Dallas folds his arms at the mention of Blake. "The guy should seriously think about sending you royalties." Dallas sighs. He didn't know what to do about Blake,he just knew he wanted something done.

"Oh!" Jayne exclaims when Billy pipes right up with an answer about being hugged. She was concerned,but not concerned enough to offer a hug now. And that was before Billy mentioned the weird sex things. As he speaks,her already expressive eyes groew larger And simultaneously try to retract into her head.just to get away from him. She doesn't want to seem rude and step back though. "No! I haven't tried,nor will I ever try that..any of that. I like the feeling of being loved ." She says simply. She was not one to venture too far out of her comfort zone. The time with Erica and Gretchen was the wildest she got. and even that was quote unquote normal ,aside from th number involved."and vanilla is a VERY popular flavor." She says defiantly and crosses her arms.

"Yeah. Those squares can fuck off. They're all miserable,so they think everyone else should be too. " Erich says with more than a hint of distaste in his voice.as a rule,he's rather apolitical. Do what thou wilt,and all of that. But he has a special spot in his heart for disliking the religious right in his country. Erich can't help but laugh when Billy talks about his various bi bits. " You forgot bipedal. " He adds with a grin. he certainly could see the problems they would have with Billy. "You'd be surprised how many times the NRA has wanted me to join and do their little shows. I'm like fuck that. The only reason the second amendment is protected so much,is because it's the only one that can be used to sell something."
Erich listens to Billy and doesn't even have much a reaction to his description of daytime tv. he's been around billy enough to not be too surprised by this. Nor doubt it's accuracy. "There is near limitless porn and you're wanting to antique shows? You're a wild man,Mr Billy a wild man. For my non porn wants,I prefer the weather girl on channel 7. " Erich says with a wink,as if Billy has aclue who he's talking about. Erich doesn't even mind getting some candy in his coke. He even makes a joke,"look,it really is nose candy!" He laughs far too hard at this and hands the bag to Jayne. He know how she was,but wasn't going to deny her an experience if she wanted it.

"mini hulk? so the jolly green giant,then ?" dallas laughs at dustyn. the idea of the man in front of him ever getting truly pissed off was hilarious. he justy couldnt picture it with his wildest imagination. technically,the jolly green giant was way bigger than the hulk,but he wasnt known for violence. he was mainly known for posing next to vegetables. dustyn would probably be more like sprout,the green giant's sidekick. but sprout wasnt as well known. dallas' eyes widen when the towel moves to expose dustyn. even smelling of swamp.dallas was eager to be with dustyn..privately. "true...probably wouldnt even pay for for the postage for the check." he says dismissively. while he's sure blake had done better than his band ever had,that wasnt saying a whole lot. dallas inspects the pot of water and takes a whiff. it was still kinda swampy,but no where near what it once was. "yeah,i think its ready. ...aside from now having to wait for it to cool." dallas laughs at the situation. it was very goldilocks and the three bears. though deadlier. if dustyn bathed in this now,he'd cook like an irish ham.

jayne runs a hand through her hair. the curls were REALLY coming out now as it dried. she forgot to bring her straightener,plus there was no where to plug it in. tomorrow she would probably look like the girl from brave. "pointless sex i could have any time. i bet if i was so inclined,i could at least bed one of you guys right now." she looks at erich and playfully sticks her tongue out at him. shes always known erich had a thing for her when they were younger,but she frankly found him very icky. probably because secretly she was attracted to erica. "being loved is special." she says with a sigh. she missed what she had with daisy and seriously doubted she'd ever find it again. jayne mentally pictures the effort it took to remove red wine from carpet. growing up,her father had white carpet in the house. and being who they were, teenage erich and jayne snuck red wine frequently. inevitably some of it spilled. "jesus." she says in amazement. even at the most passionate of times with daisy,they barely broke the intensity of trying to remove spilled coffee from a carpet. intense,but not near as rough.

erich looks at billy and laughs with a smirk. the amount of times his accent had given people misconceptions about him would fill a book." why billy,i do declare." he says in his most exaggerated southern belle accent. "seriously though, the amount of times people assume im personally responsible for trump...its like what the fuck? my adoptive father is gay,as is my adopted son. my best friends are a japanese bisexual woman,and a dominatrix who is also bisexual. my own lady friend is hispanic....im registered green party.. seriously,what the hell?! the only thing i have in common with the weirdos is i own guns. and even then,i dont want to fuck the things." erich says ,finally letting out a sigh after rattling off the reasons why he isnt one of those people. erich,always one to look on the bright side, "hey,at least may isnt Margaret god damn thatcher. shuttering liverpool's shipbuilding was a brilliant idea,fucking cow." erich says rather bitterly. he didnt have a horse in that fight,but he knew lots of old scousers who were bitter as fuck about thatcher. he assumed they were right and that billy probably disliked her too. erich takes another bump and is visibly more energetic. he started looking around for something to do.

jayne,on the other hand,cracks open and m&m and loudly snorts it up. "holy shit. i think i can see hear the trees growing! listen." jayne jerks her head towards the forest. she was no stranger to such substances,but her tolerance was very low,and this was very pure.

"the very one" dallas nods. "he's a smiling and happy go lucky sort of guy. much like you. he's on loads of stuff in the usa. not just corn. "dallas explains. the green man is on all sorts of canned vegetables back home. dallas assumes that over here,they can grow any other vegetable they need. maybe corn just doesnt like england and they have to ship it in. "bfg?" dallas says,looking over at riley. he was familiar with the movie,but never saw it. " big fucking giant? i never thought that was much of a kids movie." he laughs. the acronym could only stand for one thing in dallas' mind.

jayne giggles at the brashness of billy. she really didnt know where he got his ideas from. she still didnt like him and would never really warm to him. but he was anything but boring. she had to give him that. "i think you're mistaking the fact that im not open with my experiences as being inexperienced. id imagine i count what anyone counts as sex. i dont think i really have to elaborate. some things i dont know about." she laughs and nods to billy,her mind really couldnt go to the places his apparently did. "but who knows what skeletons are in my closet." she says coyly. "but sweet and cute skeletons,none of that fisto stuff." she adds quickly,making a disgusted face.

"back when she thought she liked guys,she brought home some of the goofiest bastards. you know the mental image you conjurer when hearing the name winslow? like that." erich says to billy,teasing jayne. much like jayne knowing him very well. he knew a lot about what made jayne tick. there had to be more to her than most knew,as erich didnt trust anyone who didnt have at least one vice.

"oh fuck you." jayne says to erich. "at least i brought people home." she snips at him. again,all in good fun. but the drug had certainly made jayne a bit saucier than usual. erich actually quickly clams up and goes back to cracking open m&ms.

"i have low tolerance. but at least im a cheap date." jayne grins to billy,she holds another m&m in her hand is contemplating using it.but halts as she is deathly afraid of overdosing out here in the woods. she would die before help arrived. yes,the drug did amp up her paranoia by a large factor.

"i guess you do like the accent. though i dont think im as extreme as andrea." erich says with a laugh."hey,it could be worse. daniel could end up talking like payton. the guys is entertaining as fuck,but im so glad they subtitled big brother when he was on here." erich assumes billy is ok with payton. he didnt mention bludgeoning him when he brought up andrea. erich actually laughs at the joke about andrea losing and getting daniel. "at least you got to flip for it. i think mine just up and disappeared. i cant even say if she has custody anymore. lets hope she doesnt." it was a rare moment when erich said anything ill about his ex. but if he was being honest,it certainly would be better if ada didnt have custody. not that he wanted custody now. but still. "a hole!? fuck that. i'd do her like we should have done her buddy,reagan. stick a bone in their asses and let the dogs drag em off." thatcher's american equivalent,reagan was probably just as decisive. he was a saint among conservatives...even if a lot of his mishaps were coming home to roost now.

erich lets out a strange sound after inhaling another dose. this actually wasnt his drug of choice and it was rather strong. hallucinogens were far more his bag. but the long commitment time and the instant tolerance helped put them on the back burner for today. mainly the tolerance thing,he didnt mind having 12 hours of a high. he saw it as value for money. very punk rock. he looks around at the menagerie of people they had here. billy was right. most of weekend looked to have it together,but they were just as loopy as anyone erich had known. he himself was a lost cause. even jayne had her quirks. " you are right. jesus. i could under stand if you was just you and me..but the rest of these bastards have their issues too...yes,even you,jayne." he adds a with a smile. jayne just sort of shrugs and decides to use that piece of candy she has. "you know...in weird way,i actually like you,billy.youre honest,if anything. i can appreciate that." erich says,looking into the fire. when he thinks about it,his only friends outside of people he directly works with are dustyn,and by extension billy. billy,like selene, could be considered an awful person. but the fact they dont make any apologies for who they are appeals to erich. erich doubles over laughing at the group billy has put together. "poor lincoln. i keep asking selene if they make him wear a helmet around the office. she hasnt said yes....but she also hasnt said no." erich makes a face that says "perhaps?" and chuckles.

jayne shakes her head. "you guys are terrible."but she poorly stifles a laugh.

Jayne hums as she changes into pajamas. They are laughably old fashioned. Like the full long sleeved shirt and trosuers combo seen in cartoons. She finishes up by pulling the matching cap on to her head. She wasn't going to be mistaken for one of Victoria's secret Angels,but she also wasn't going be freezing her butt off either.
Inside the van,Dallas is careful to not go too hard. He didn't want the shaking van to give them away. most of their party would probably not mention it..but Billy or Erich would be the sort to sneak in an slip the van into neutral. Few things would kill the mood like the van suddenly rolling down the hill. "At least we know you're dad isn't walking in this time." Dallas softly says to Dustyn.

Erich, feeling rather lethargic due to the comedown from the cocaine (and a few drops of snuck laudanum on the tongue) sat in a slumped posture. He'd still have felt better about Billy if the man would have agreed to a duel. His dueling pistols were poorly made,so the likelihood of either of them hitting their target was slim. But one can't have everything. This was good though. Fire was near as much as a bonding experience as shooting at each other. Erich looks up at Billy and raises an eyebrow. "Probably a good call on it not being a gang bang. I don't know how the straight vs other sexualities stack up,but I'm pretty sure the odds aren't in my favor. Truly would be an orgy. I'd be saying or gee, there's no one for me." Erich laughs more than he should at the recycled Benny hill joke. He looks at the tents vs people count. He didn't see Dustyn or Dallas anywhere. But even without them,it was going to be kinda tight. "I guess we could. I mean, we're all friends,right? Though I will let you know, this won't be the first time someone has slept with two members of the Hess clan at once." He tells Billy with a laugh. Erich didn't mind any sleeping accommodations as long as he didn't sleep alone. On On tour he and karoliena always shared a hotel room,if not a hotel bed. Which sounded a lot more risque than reality. Erich was scared of being found dead ad alone hours after he passed.

Jayne walks out of the tent, freshly changed and stretches her arms into the air. She stops cold when she hears Riley scream. "It's s fucking Bear,I know it!" She screams and runs towards the van. Vans are metal and most bears can't get through metal.

Dallas laughs when Dustyn puts a finger to his lips. It wasn't his father that walked in on them,so the situation was more funny than anything else. But it probably was different for Dustyn. While not the most romantic of settings,there was the dirty pleasure of knowing they were going to be the the only ones having any sex on this trip.d dallas holds dustyn's shoulder to get better leverage.the sneakiness of the whole situation really did it for him.in fact,it REALLY did it for him. He kissed Dustyn and smiled. "Oh Dustyn,-" he starts.

As soon as the tingle starts to well up,the door bursts open. Jayne scrambles inside the van, screaming "there's a bear! A fucking bear out there! No time for anyone else." Jayne practically leaps on to Dallas. She's so scared,she isn't paying attention to what's going on. But the situation soon dawns on her. "Oh God.." she says aghast.

Erich unknowingly looks at the rest of weekend after Billy's words. He knew about Dusty,but now he wondered who else could billy possibly be speaking of. He finally settles on Oscar,since he sorta resembled Dustyn." Oh,I was talking about from outside the group,Billy." Erich tells him with a smile. "If we're speaking inter band relations? Well,the road can be long and lonely, right?" He says with a shrug. if it was anyone aside from the extended clan,they probably knew each other biblically. " You sleep on the other side of the tent." Erich quips to Billy.there was no way he was waking up to being accidentally spooned by Billy. Erich brought no sleeping clothes and was planning to sleep in his jeans and t-shirt. But he did bring a creepy anime girl body pillow to Garner weird looks from everyone. Erica gave it to him for some reason or the other. So he was looking forward to bringing that out. He puts a few more heavy logs on the fire. If there isn't a fire that lasts until morning, Jayne will be pissed. After that,he walks over to the tent area and pokes the tent. Yup. It's still there.

"The fuck is coronation chicken?" Erich pipes up,hearing the conversation. " Sounds like the most important chicken in the coop." But important chickens don't like mayo. " Erich states with all the authority of someone who's seen a few chickens in his time.*




*Ooc:Miami has random chickens. I guess they're semi wild.

Dallas screams as well when he feels Jayne's arms wrap around him. He has flashbacks to Erich referencing that squeal like a pig movie. He jerks his head around to look over his shoulder and is face to face with Jayne. "What the he-" he starts,very ready to berate Jayne for the invasion of privacy. But he stops when the shock of her jumping on him,the emotional high of already being close to finishing,and the yelling all combine to make the most awkward orgasm of his life.
"Oh...." He says in disappointment.

Jayne on, other hand,is too shocked to really move. this was the last thing she expected to Walk in,much less be a part of. " Um....hi? " She says,trying too look anywhere where there wasn't exposed skin. but ,like a car accident,her eyes were drawn where she didn't want them to go. Which was right on Dustyn's penis that swung mockingly back and forth like a fleshy pendulum to a grandfather clock. Jayne panics and tries to break the tension.:" So...is this a threesome now? Should I grab that or what?" She says nervously,nodding towards Dustyn and trying to lift herself off the pair without touching anyone. This proved hard without the leverage her arms would give. So she ends up falling down three more times before finally standing and turning her back. She felt she might literally die of embarrassment.

Erich shakes his head and laughs at the prospect of sleeping next to Jayne. " Fuck no. She thrashes about in her sleep. Nope. I just request to not sleep next to any nude people."Erich tells Billy. "Nothing personal,but if we are somehow murdered at night, I don't want to fuel rumors of us being secret lovers." Erich states. there already was talk, but at least it wasn't the weird him and dusty stuff he's read online.
Erichs face grows more and more disgusted as Billy describes the dish. It sounds horrid. "No. No." Erich says in a small voice. "You can't mix that together. "He says,while still wrapping his head around it.it sounded a little like chicken salad from home.but this coronation chicken sounded slightly less bland.

Erich whips around to face Scott. As a mayonnaise hater,he'd heard that phrase a million times. His eyes narrow and he points to Scott."so if I have a bowl of pudding. Chocolate pudding. And say it has just a little bit of shit it and you cant taste the shit,would you still eat it?" Erich wipes his hands against each other,as if he's washing his hands of the situation. "Id rather sleep next to naked Billy and have a penis in pocket than sleep next to this freak." He grins at Scott.

Erich looks around at the mention of missing people."ok...you're sleeping at the entrance, Rie." Erich says, quietly cracking open a beer

dallas doesnt really know what to do. this was pretty damned embarrassing. so he does the sensible thing and keeps his eyes locked onto dustyn's. all he can do is shrug his shoulders. "i think im cursed!" he starts to laugh sadly. this was certainly something that kept happening. if he didnt know better,he'd think some of the more unscrupulous members of their party put jayne up to this.

"I WAS KIDDING!" jayne laughs nervously when dustyn warns her about it going off. "i totally didnt mean to come in. i really didnt want to see this. not that it isnt a beautiful thing and all. but you're all naked and huge. males like that right? you like dick compliments? oh if i liked that sort of thing,i would be sooooo happy right now. but yeah,i will totally show myself out and lets speak of this never." jayne rambles while her back is turned. she is mentally trying to project herself through the wall. but it isnt happening. the shame is real. she finally manages to get the message from her mind to her legs to start walking.
after jayne leaves,dallas lets out a big sigh. "what the fuck was that about?!

"the hell i am!" erich protests. he was passionate about his hating mayonnaise. he's been known to purchase the entire stock of a store,just to ensure other people cant have it and subject other people to it. "listen. mayonaise is just eggs and water,right? the fuck do you end up with THAT flavor out of THOSE ingredients? something nefarious is up with that. those dullards who dont know any better might be fooled,but not me." erich states in alex jones level calmness."see? billy gets it. mayo is not for human consumption. and if jayne liked mayo? you think i'd hang out with her?! no god damned way." erich says in defense of his pseudo sister.

"i'll put my mouth in lots of places before i'd eat mayo. i'd brave the most herpes ridden of groupies before i'd take one single whiff of mayo,scott. riley's feet are like fine cheese." erich says with a smirk. "i think you should sleep next to naked billy,scott. the smell of mayo might keep him away.....or arouse him,depending on how deep his masochist tendencies run." erich offers,throwing scott under the bus for daring to like mayo. erich doesnt think much of billy's commenting on the foot licking,he's just glad someone has his back in all of this. " billy,i think a shorter list would be what doesnt arouse you,but am still honored." erich takes a little bow with great flourish. its almost more of a curtsy.

jayne comes back to the group,overly casual and whistling. " oh ,hi guys. i didnt see you were over here."