Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over.

Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies -- two in the front seat and three in the back - eyes wide and white as ghosts.

The driver, obviously confused, says to him, "Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?"

"Ma'am," the officer replies, "You weren't speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers."

"Slower than the speed limit?" she asked. No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly... Twenty-Two miles an hour!" the old woman says a bit proudly. The State Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that "22" was the route number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error.

"But before I let you go, Ma'am, I have to ask... Is everyone in this car ok? These women seem awfully shaken and they haven't muttered a single peep this whole time." the officer asks.

"Oh, they'll be alright in a minute officer. We just got off Route 119."

There was a virgin that was going out on a date for the first time and she told her grandmother about it.

Her grandmother says, "Sit here and let me tell you about those young boys. "He is going to try to kiss you; you are going to like that, but don't let him do that."

She continued, "He is going to try to feel your breast; you are going to like that, but don't let him do that. He is going to try to put his hand between your legs; you are going to like that, but don't let him do that.

Then the grandmother said, "But, most importantly, he is going to try to get on top of you and have his way with you. You are going to like that, but don't let him do that. It will disgrace the family."

With that bit of advice in mind, the granddaughter went on her date and could not wait to tell her grandmother about it.

The next day she told her grandmother that her date went just as the old lady said.

She said, "Grandmother, I didn't let him disgrace the family. When he tried, I turned him over, got on top of him and disgraced his family."

- This family are nudists so they take their sun to the beach. After a while he comes running and says "Mommy, I just saw a girl with boobs bigger than yours!" and she said "The bigger they are, the dumber they are" and he walked away.
A while later he comes back and says "Mommy, I just saw a lady with a pee pee bigger than dads" and again she said, "The bigger they are, the dumber they are." and he walked away again.
Again he comes running up and yells, "Mommy, I just saw dad talking to the dumbest girl here, and the longer they talked, the dumber he got!"

Heh heh. Good old Captain Insano. Insane in the membrane, I believe.

My friend saw it and said it was kinda odd but funny. He also said that he really didn't want to see it but his parents went and made him.

I can't tell jokes, so here's mine.

Two gay men walk into a bar and they ask the bartender, "is this a gay bar?" the bartender replies, "No, get the fuck outtah here, faggots!"
The gay men walk into annother bar and say to the bartender, "is this a gay bar?" the bartender replies, "no, sorry."
The gay men walk into annother bar and ask the bartender, "is this a gay bar?" The bartender says, "Why not? I have Adam Lambert's cd playing over the speaker."

that really sucks so here's annother that isnt mine.

Two musicians walk into a gay bar and one says to the other, "We shouldn't have let the Jonas Brothers pick the bar."

Sorry about the gay jokes, I hate most of them, but sometimes they're funny

I saw Fantastic Mr. Fox. It was extremely good.

Pokemon shit? please explain...

The irony is that Pokemon is a far better game than Halo.

Wolfenstein beats them all.

It is true though.