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OMG I Would Bone That … AwardWoooooooo, What up Chaos Awards? What a freaking amazing evening we’ve had tonight, We’re in freaking Cardiff, and look at all of you pretty people, for one night only it’s like Cardiff has turned into LA but without the sun and the smell of regret. What an awesome night, Look at you all, you perfectly formed human beings, (looks at Suzie) Well there’s always an exception right? Suzie, Suzie, Suzie … never has anyone single headedly attempted to ruin the sanctity of music since Gary Glitter went to get his laptop repaired … Anyway on with the show. This next award is an award I’m kinda happy to present tonight, it’s the OMG I Would Bone That award, it doesn’t mean that you’d bone the actual award, it means you’d bone the person that wins the award, sorry for rambling on, I just figured I’d explain it for some of our slower participants tonight, (looks at Suzie again). Soooo without further ado, The nominees for the award are a bevy of beautiful women and I guess beautiful men, I have no idea why I wasn’t included but whatever, I’ll just let that slide … Sooooo the nominees are, Cassie Summers, Hannah Beth, Nadia Berry, Josh Heyler, Scott H, Suzie, Kim Black, Jason Smith, Lauren England, Ryan Ross Hernandez, Nicole Woods, Cinzia Ricci and Mariah Button.Wow, that’s quite a list huh? And the runners up were, Nadia Berry, Scott H and … Jason Smith … Wait what are you people freaking blind, how did Jason not win this one, I mean I’m a guy and I’d bone this dude … (listens to the producer via an earphone) … What, he came out? Really? … Ahh, ok, scrap that last comment, Jason is a very handsome man, no following me backstage please. Ok, so after that awkward moment, the winner of this prestigious award … I guess … is … the wonderful and slightly deranged but lets face it we all love her, the winner is … CASSIE SUMMERS!!! |
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