At times he acknowledged that he could have dumb ideas. Looking back at his love life and career, many questionable decisions could be brought up that he's made. This seemed doable to him. If it required him to do some ridiculous Spiderman like acrobatics, he would definitely not be the one to jump up to help. The concern coming from Ellie-Grace, despite being expected, still gave him a warm feeling for a second or two. "Don't worry, Ellie. Everything will be fine. I'll be careful. You just stay with Layla. This shouldn't take long." He reassured her, a small smirk cracking at his lip. His concerns were less about failing his attempt somehow to reach the balcony over and more about what he might find once he made it to the room.

He doesn't take much note of how well-put Layla's room was, the brisk morning air once the hotel room opened sending a shiver down his spine. Ryan studies what he could see to the balcony over, sighing out once he can tell the door isn't closed. He looks down at what a possible fall would result in, although standing there it appeared simple enough to make it over. He uses his hands to lift himself over the ledge carefully, just enough space over the rail where he could place down his feet without much of them hanging freely. "Ok... ok... you got this, Ryan..." he whispers under his breath as motivation. Ryan debates on whether he should lunge himself in one go over to the next ledge or get a hold of it before jumping. The latter seems like the safer bet. He extends his right arm out first, thankful for his lankiness more than ever before in his life, grabbing hold of the opposite ledge without too much stress on his body. Trying to avoid looking down at the space between the balconies. He was never the most flexible man around nor did his age helps matters but this all was going as he imagined.

Ryan jumps forward and missteps his movement, his right knee banging against the metal railing, creating a loud rattling noise. He misses a foot properly landing on the ledge. "Oh shit!" Thankfully the scene does not play out too scary, acting quickly enough to throw his forearms over the railing and throwing his body over to the safety of the opposite balcony ground. It was not exactly action movie smooth, but he made it which is what counted. "I'm good! I'm good!" He called out to the girls in the room over, throwing a thumbs up once he stands up and gathers himself, feeling a slight discomfort in his right knee. "This fucking asshole owes me." He utters quietly, opening the balcony door more, in turn pulling the curtain out of the way, feeling a pit in his stomach growing.

This was bad. This was worse than he could possibly imagine. The reality of seeing Joshua laying face down, pale white was too much. Ryan felt as if he was going to cry, throw up, and pass out all at once. He had seen a lot in his 43 years on this earth. This was unlike anything else he had experienced as an observer. No matter how much his body is telling him to do something and act quickly, his mind paralyzes him as he inches close to his friend's limp body. All his anxiety problems crashing down on him like bricks. He puts his hands on his knees trying to take some breaths to steady himself. His eyes quickly welled up. He thought Joshua was dead. God only knows how long he has been out. Maybe he had been like this since last night. Maybe not.

He leans down and turns his body to check his pulse, feeling a tiny sign of life. His heart was beating. Barely. Ryan stood up and ran over to the bedside table for the hotel phone, in that moment seeing nestled nearby was Joshua's phone with the hundred or so missed calls from Layla and a needle beside it. Quickly he was able to paint a picture in his head about what happened and why exactly Grimmie was currently lifeless on the floor. His battle with addiction had taken yet another dark turn. As much as he wanted to understand the reasons why he had gotten himself in such a bad shape, he simply couldn't. It was exhausting. This latest chapter felt like it was sending Ryan in a spiral of his own. "I need some EMTs and an ambulance at room 416! ASAP! Like right fucking now! We have someone with barely a pulse from a likely OD. We need help right now! Go!" He shouts in urgency, slamming the phone down, hoping that they act quickly.

Ryan then remembers Layla and Ellie-Grace standing at the balcony over, likely anxiously waiting for him to give them some sort of update. If the sight affected him so deeply, he knew he had to do everything in his power so they did not see their beloved friend like this. A few tears escape from his eyes when his gazes meets Joshua's ghostlike face now that he was turned over. At least he was alive. That's all he could think to bring himself an ounce of comfort. "Why Grimmie? Why the fuck this?" He sighed out helplessly, wiping away the tears and the rest of his face before he stepped out onto the balcony. He tried and failed to look up at them, instead keeping his sight down to the ground.

"Ellie... Layla... I need you both to listen to me carefully and trust me with what I'm about to ask from you two..." he began, pausing for a few seconds before finally looking at them to reveal his own broken expression, trying to talk directly to Ellie as his eyes filled up again. It was rare for Ryan to lose a grip on his emotions. "EG... stay over there and keep Layla with you. Please-please don't come over here. I beg you both." He knew he had to give them something to warrant why he was asking that of them. "He's here. He has a pulse. But I-I had to call the front desk for an ambulance... he's not well."

Ryan was exhausted. He wouldn’t admit it to anyone as he attempted to solider on and be there for everyone around him, instead of wallowing in his own emotions. It was easy to see that some life had been sucked out of the man in the last few days. There was growing concern that he was running himself dry by putting on this front that he was okay. His management had tried to get a hold of him to no avail. The label was scrambling to set a new release date for the single and working with him to set that was proving impossible. His friends felt that he was shutting down. Aside from a few changes of clothing and quick showers, he has not left the hospital in days. He’s only slept an hour or two each night in an uncomfortable chair. The lack of resting was starting to add up. Ryan always had this immaculate look to him, up-kept and well-rested. Now he had messy hair, baggy eyes, and an overall defeated look to him.

Today was another day at Joshua’s side. Another day of no progress. It was frustrating. Here he was seeing his best friend, 21 years younger than him, in a coma. The times he was alone with him he tried to crack jokes and talk the usual crap they would back when things were normal. The one way conversation did nothing but get him feeling helpless. Thankfully, the saving grace keeping his sanity, was Ellie-Grace being a frequent face by his side. If she wasn’t constantly in his mind, a reminder to be strong and composed, he would have been crushed from all this. When Ellie brings up that he will be gone until tomorrow afternoon, he raises an eyebrow. “No, no. I’m fine. EG is being her typical, nurturing self. You know how it goes, Joshy.” He tapped his friend’s knee and forced out a chuckle, looking over at Ellie shaking his head. He felt a responsibility to stick around by his friend. In reality, there was also a fear of being alone. At least staying in the hospital meant that he was around someone at any given time. Going to the hotel room meant that it would just be him and his running thoughts.

A part of him wanted to be open and tell Ellie the truth. It was always a push and pull for him. He wanted to have someone to share this weight with but his own fears usually outweighed that desire. Ryan crossed his arms over his chest, looking over at her. “Ok. I’ll do it to make you happy.” He said with a sigh, knowing that she would not take no for an answer.

He looked over at Joshua for a moment, feeling that pit in his stomach grow as he tried to reason with himself on the conversation he kept putting off. While he was in no danger of falling into the abyss that caught up with his friend, left to his own devices could be dangerous too. Ryan returned his gaze to Ellie before speaking up again. “Can we go somewhere to chat?”

In the blur of the last few days, Ryan still had all his belongings in the same hotel and room that he had spent a lovely evening with Ellie-Grace before things took a sudden downward spiral. He had not stepped foot there since, having someone from his team grab him essentials he needed on a day to day basis. It made no sense but he felt a sense of failure, as if he could have done more and been less caught up in his own life. Not only was he the one to find Joshua almost lifeless, he was too the person who first learned about his heroin problem. The reality was he did the most he could but in no way did that lesser the dark cloud that hung above his head. He wanted to be there for everyone and in turn was forgetting about his own health, both physically and mentally.

If this were occurring some years ago, he would have easily locked himself away and decided to partake in heavy binge drinking. He was wiser now to know that wouldn’t actually help him or solve the problems at hand. The inebriated state would only make him disappear for his friends which he refused to do this time around. He cared too much about Joshua, Layla, and Ellie-Grace. His heart broke for Grimmie’s parents knowing what they had been through over the last year and a half. “I can’t say no to Ellie-Grace, sorry Joshy.” He smirked a little looking over at her then down at him, who he started to call by his popular nickname ever since he slipped into a coma rather than the typical Grimmie he used most often. He patted Joshua softly on the chest once he stands, knowing that this was going to be the longest he has gone without seeing him ever since he was hospitalized. “I’ll see you tomorrow, man.”

Ryan checks his own watch, realizing it was getting late but also dreading being alone. At least in the hospital he had sights and sounds to keep him going. “Yeah, coffee sounds good.” He forces a small smile, thankful that Ellie was there. He takes one last look at Joshua before stepping outside of the room. His hand instinctively rests on Ellie-Grace’s lower back, although it only sits there for a few seconds, returning to his side. He has kept a low-profile throughout everything, so the last thing he wanted was gossip rags to start writing about his love life.

“How have you been today, EG? Have you eaten?” Even though he had spent most of the day with her, he wanted to know how she was overall. He could tell she was putting a front in her own way to power through, so he wanted to be there for her despite everything else and take care of her. She was just as present in his thoughts.

Ryan’s optimism was dwindling with each passing day. It was a battle to keep hope alive knowing that doctors said that the longer he remained in this comatose state, the more likely he may have some sort of permanent brain damage. That’s if he ever woke up. It was terrifying. There was nothing to bring him solace when everyone was grasping at the seams trying to keep their respective minds at somewhat of an ease. While they hadn’t really spoken about everything that was going on, he found comfort in Ellie-Grace’s presence through all of this. The small light he experienced every day since Joshua overdosed was when she would walk in with a cup of coffee in each hand. It was a pattern he could count on.

He wants to urge Ellie to eat and take care of herself yet that was advice he knew could easily be thrown back at him. The last few days he has barely consumed anything other than coffee for the caffeine to keep him going forward. Once he sees her getting emotional, it brings a pang to his chest. It was bad enough spending most of the days looking over his close friend hooked up to machines, unable to fend without them. Now he was seeing the woman he cared for deeply succumbing to the sadness that surrounded this situation. When she can’t contain herself from crying aloud it eats away at him. She kept all this deep in her, much like he was doing, and now it was boiling over with someone else present. It takes everything in him to not breakdown with her.

There was fear in her welled up eyes and facial expression. All he can do is pull her close to him, letting her face rest against his chest. Her sobbing damping his black hoodie. His arms wrapped around her tightly in a warm embrace. For how much he concerned himself about the opinions of others, he didn’t care about anyone seeing him hold Ellie. She needed a shoulder to cry on and he wanted to be that for her. “I-I know... I’m scared too...” He says quietly, almost in a whispering tone. If you listen close enough, there was a small crack in his voice. He too was attempting to fight off the tears that blurred his vision.

Ryan had no idea where he would go from here if the worst case scenario became a reality. It made it all the more difficult when he knew he reserved some anger towards Joshua. This was exactly what he meant when he told him he didn’t want to see Ellie hurting. Ryan was protective of her despite being a source of her pain in the past. “You need to let it all out...” His hands rubbing her back gently, trying to provide an additional source of comfort. “You’re not alone... you have me... I’m not going anywhere.” He placed a small kiss at the top of her head. He knew that he had let her down on that promise once before.

Given their history both over a decade ago and the moments they've shared in more recent memory, meant that Ellie-Grace and Ryan shared a connection that ran deep. They were always going to have this unspoken bond. There was no further proof of that than how the two reconnected so smoothly in the last six months with no struggle, despite not speaking in years. Add to all those layers the fact that they both care greatly about Joshua and his well-being, it made sense that the two would rely on each other at this difficult time. Each of them tried to put on as best of a front as possible to all others but they knew one another too well for their respective facades to hold up.

Ryan wanted nothing more than to be the person for Ellie-Grace. He did not want to pretend otherwise. He wanted to fully break down her walls and have her be real with him. He knew that much could only truly be the case if he too were to bring down his guard. She wasn't fine. He wasn't fine. That much was clear to anyone that could see them right now. "I know... it's frustrating." He uttered out and stopped thereafter, knowing that talking about the gravity of everything would not help either of them. They both were hyperaware of the consequences. "We're doing the best we can, Ellie." He reassured her and tried to do the same to himself with his words. If anything, they both were going above and beyond for their friend.

"Yeah. We haven't really gotten much time lately, just you and I." Ryan started, saying nothing about her arm hooked at his waist, opting to keep his arm hanging over her shoulder. He was terrible at getting out of his own head and the opinions of others were always going to hold some value to him regardless of how much he tried to dismiss them, but right now all he cared about was having Ellie close. "I actually wanted to talk to you over the weekend after the FCAs bu..." While it was true that he wanted to have this conversation with her before anything happened with Joshua, this may have been a factor in pushing him to not let it rest in his mind any longer. The ding of the elevator arriving makes him pause, the doors opening up and the pair stepping in together. Having her this close always fluttered his mind, regardless of the sleep deprivation he was going through. He taps the button to take them to the main floor, his hand caressing her arm.

"Do you wanna walk to that coffee shop nearby? The one you always pick up on your way here? I don't think I can have another cup of shitty hospital coffee today." Ryan chuckles, squeezing her shoulder. A rare moment of him attempting to be lighthearted these days.

Out of all the relationships Ryan has had, there was always a sense of comfort with Ellie-Grace that was unmatched. Everyone wanted to look at the overall strangeness of the two as a pairing given their different personalities on the surface and the 15 year age gap as two factors that made them a relationship set to fail. Ultimately it did, although in no way did that lesser the impact their time together had on him. As he had shared during a conversation with Joshua when he first revealed he had reconnected with Ellie professionally, the feelings for her were substantial enough where he immediately put a pause on any existing flings and hook-ups he could call up, for the sake of improving himself in her eyes. He wanted to be the best possible version of himself around her whether they were a romantic couple or not. It felt as if he had lost over 10 years with her already that he would take her however she would allow.

“I don’t think it should. I hope it doesn’t. If you end up crying unhappy tears at the end of this, then I need to purchase some tissues for myself too.” Ryan chuckled, feeling some nerves settling in even if his words slipped casually. He typically ensued confidence and this unfazed aura, but with Ellie, all of that was out the window. If she were not an active part of his life, providing this certain relief, he had no idea in what pitifulness of despair he would find himself in. He loved how nurturing and kind and overall beautiful person she was. The fact that she was in turn in his eyes so physically attractive too, made him scorn the fact he messed things up with her once before.

Ryan smirks and nods his head at the mention of her opting for tea. He was dreading spending the night alone, especially in the room that was so close to where he found Joshua and the last space where he felt truly at ease with Ellie. In an ideal world, he would be spending the night with her, in the same bed and space. No distance between them. “I don’t know how easy sleep will come for me. I may need to ask if anyone has any stiff liquor to pour into my coffee.” He stated halfheartedly with a laugh. He was hoping that during the course of their conversation he could lay it all out on the line which may possibly determine how the rest of his night and truthfully the course of his days ahead l went. As much as he wanted to believe that things would go smoothly and the feelings would be reciprocated, there was a voice in him that reminded him of the worst.

He is caught off guard with the peck she lays on his cheek. The lack of time for himself meant that he had a more defined stubble than usual. He’s unsure why she’s thanking him but he opts to take it in stride and just smiles. The act itself gives him this warm and fuzzy feeling. At 43, he thought that had to mean something, when the presence and scent of someone could give him that teenage-like sensation. This was more than fun, more than sex. There was something else that drew them close. When the elevator doors close before them, it takes everything in him not to grab her and kiss her. He did not want to assume anything lightly.

“You know, Joshua is the first person I told about us reconnecting a few months ago. I think he was slightly more excited about it than either of us could have been at that time.” He stated chuckling as her head rested peacefully on him, knowing their friend was a longtime fan of both their works.

Ryan held his cup of black coffee tightly in his hands as his eyes trailed off to admire the setting they were in. Being in a cozy café, with the combination of the dreary weather out and present company nearby, a wave of comfort came over him. His mind was always running at full speed regardless of what was going on around him, so it was rare for him to find many zen moments in his constantly moving life. He lets the hood from his sweatshirt slide off his head, running a hand through his messy, unwashed hair. Despite his tired eyes, the tense facial expression that had become his look the last few days had drifted off to reveal a more relaxed demeanor. Everything was fitting into place perfectly.

He nods his head and smirks as she brings up the whole reason they are here. The conversation he wanted to have with her. During the short walk here, the small talk took hold. Now there were no more excuses to prolong what he had in mind. "On the walk here I kept thinking of all the lofty ways I could say what's on my mind. I don't want to do that." Ryan takes a pause and looks down at his coffee. It was the pull of his thoughts wanting to be honest, yet not wanting to be misunderstood that tugged at him. "You've been on my mind all the time. Since that first phone call when I reached out to you seeing if you wanted to work together again, you've had this hold on me. I thought it was passing. Maybe we were meant to reconnect and be friends." He tries to keep his eyes lingering on his cup, on the table, on her hands. While his words came out clean and unshaken, there was an aura of nerves radiating from him that was odd for anyone who knew him.

"Of course, we've spent more time together outside of the studio. We've shared some... fun nights." He says with a small chuckle, finally making direct eye contact with Ellie-Grace. Those radiant blue eyes that drove him crazy. "I don't know if I ever stopped thinking of you or if that even matters because I wasted 10 years not being with you," he exhales for a second, knowing that these next words are the ones that hold the most weight to them. "All I'm certain about is that I'm in love with you. Madly in love... and... I don't want to keep pretending otherwise."

It was daunting for him to open up in such an honest manner. His entire public persona was built on this serial dater who weaved his way in and out of lives without a care, which was true for a long time. He had no interest in commitment or a serious relationship through most of his 20s and 30s. Now settling firmly into his 40s, his ideology of happiness and partnership had greatly shifted. While the media was always going to pin him as a womanizer for the rest of his life, in reality he hadn't dated or been in a relationship in years, so the moniker was outdated at best. Telling the woman that was possibly the love of his life his true feelings was not easy but it no longer paralyzed him. Life is too short to not be real about what you want.

Ryan knew Ellie better than to assume that even if she were to shoot him down, she would do it in a way that was any less than gentle. The giggle, the smile, and the touch of her hand on his. It was all comforting. It made him feel that gooey and fluttery sensation in his chest. Seeing her reaction and hearing her speak brings a lighter air to the room. "Hey, people said we were crazy almost 11 years ago... maybe they were right." Ryan chuckles, his eyes meeting the strokes that she was tracing over his hand. He had gone back and replayed their initial romance to figure out where things went wrong. Most of what he could think of was third party opinions and influences that made it hell for them to be together. He had his flaws and faults in things ending, that much he owned up, but there was no denying the outside noise. There was no escaping it.

Hearing those three little words from her again made his heart jump. 10 years can change a lot. There may be some new traits that each have picked up and grown into, yet at their core they were the same people they fell in love with. Now 10 years older and wiser, if those feelings still rang true on both sides, there was no turning down how true this was. He smiles widely, a genuine sign of happiness to know he wasn't alone. "I just love hearing you say that." Running on instinct instead of calculating his moves, he leans over the table and uses his free hand to pull her face closer, having their lips meet. The kiss began gentle and slowly became more passionate. It was that fire the two carried for each other from the start. "I love you," he says quietly when pulling away, allowing his forehead to rest on hers for a few seconds, before settling back down in his seat with that same smile.

"I want to be with you, Ellie-Grace. That's what I want most in this world." He placed his hand on top of hers, his thumb circling over her skin. Even though his smile had faded a little, his tone had confidence and excitement layered in them. "I don't care for what anyone may say or think or do about it. I'm not letting a damn thing get in between us again. You're who I want to construct the rest of my life with."

In his youth, Ryan believed that if a relationship did not carry some degree of disagreements, arguments, and tantrums, it was bound to fail. He mistook that as passion when in reality it was just messy to be involved in such pairings. The easygoing and mild-mannered nature of the romance he shared with Ellie-Grace back then threw him for a loop. They still had their typical minor fights but nothing that ever blew out of proportion. For a long time, he tried to argue that it was best for both of them that he kept his distance. He broke the heart of a 19 year old girl and there was no coming back from that. He convinced himself that she hated him, so why bother making her life more difficult than he already had. The years apart seemingly only made that fire burn stronger once they reconnected. From writing some of the best music together to ending up having that attentive and animalistic sex that they had before, it all seemed to align perfectly. 43 year old Ryan Ross Hernandez was no longer a flight risk and 28 year old Ellie-Grace Summers was old enough to know what she wanted.

He wishes he knew how simple love truly was back when they were first together. It would have saved plenty of loneliness and broken hearts if he had realized how she was the epitome of everything he envisioned in a partner. Her words of affirmation only increased his excitement in wanting to see what the future had in store for the revitalized couple. He was not thinking about telling those around them, the headlines once the story broke, or the fact that they were about to dive into promoting an album together. All that mattered was that they loved each other. Everything else came behind that. "Sounds like you're stuck with me, Ellie-Grace. You think you're ready for that?" Ryan smirks, her earlobe rub pulling him right back to the past. He recalled the little trick as a trademark of hers. It something he could count on at times when he was nervous or anxious, she would be there with this small gesture to calm him down. "I'm so happy we found each other again. You have no idea. It's crazy how much I've missed having you with me." There was a fear in him for years that one day he was going to wake up, open up his phone, and see some headline about how she was engaged or married to some other guy. It would have drove him mad had that occurred.

The prospect of spending the night with her was exciting. Whether it ended in sex or just somebody to hold close, given everything that was going on around them, the last thing he wanted was to be alone or leave her alone. More so now that their feelings were out in the ether. If they were anywhere remotely close to each other, he didn't want to spend a night without her. "I wouldn't have it any other way, EG..." Ryan smiles, a mischief look on his face before finally taking a sip of his now lukewarm coffee. "We do have some, um, unfinished business to take care of. You may recall." He says grinning, matching her low tone, and giving her a quick wink.