So who's this fucking band?



Members

El Dick Diablo a.k.a. El DD (vocalist) - A drunk junkie pervert and fucking disgusting disgrace to mankind. He lives in a shitty shack at a trailer park. He's perpetually drunk and on drugs. He's trashed in the daily grind, trashed at practice, trashed live, and trashed in the recording room. He always has a 40 oz. in his hand and a heroin needle in his pocket. Shouldn't be around women. Jacks off to pornography too much.

Demon Big Sac a.k.a. DBS (lead guitarist) - A theistic Satanist who loves heavy metal, horror movies, porno, and sacrificing goats. He abuses all his band mates when they fuck up but only El DD fights back and when he does, shit hits the fan and the police are called most of the time.

Son of Demon Big Sac a.k.a. Lil' DBS (rhythm guitarist)- Demon Big Sac's midget butt buddy and yes, he's a midget not a little boy. He still lives with his mom and goes to community though.

Dr. Evil Maniac a.k.a. Dr. EM (bassist) - One of the young adult dipshit stoners who live next to El Dick Diablo's shack. He's wimpy, stupid, and too much of a wuss to do harder drugs than weed.

Jeff Deathslinger a.k.a. JD (drummer) - The other young adult dipshit stoner who live next to El DD's shack. He collects water guns and fiends off belligerent crackheads who come by often to El DD's shack with the more realistic looking ones.

Sally Succubus a.k.a. SS (dancer 1) - El DD's favorite personal whore.

Val Vixen a.k.a. VV (dancer 2) - El DD's second favorite.

Storytime

Demon Big Sac had the worst case of the munchies since he threw away his mom's lunch sandwich on the way to school and had nothing else to eat. The two headed to 7 Eleven for some grub but there was this fucking fatass drunk junkie holding up the line. He stunk of dead carcass, had blood all over his mouth (who knows if it was fake or not), had cocaine and spray paint all over his face, had crack teeth and burnt lips, had a hairdo that resembled Baphomet, and wore some nice leather. Since the cashier was a chick (an old, fat, and considerably ugly Mexican lady at that), the fatass kept on flirting with her and telling her illicit sexual innuendos with incredibly bad taste; the lady was not impressed, matter of fact, she was offended greatly but that didn't stop the fatass from talking to her for what seemed like hours. It was pretty funny to see this fatass harass a poor old lady even though he was holding up the line, the crowd loved it too. It was all fun and games until the man took off his pants and underwear, buck-naked, jumped over the counter and then dived on the lady as if he was trying to rape her (not to mention, he was doing the Tarzan yell while doing it). He smooched the lady forcefully and ripped her 7 Eleven uniform off, exposing her breasts and private parts (imagine the chick from the I Spit on Your Grave cover but old, fat and Mexican). Her screams were loud but not hopeless as she slapped the fatass's face and escaped his clutches. She then ran frantically straight out the store, screaming "ayudame help help hay un rapist help ayudame" outside. This didn't make the fatass flee the crime scene like any smart criminal would do, he got up, chugged some 40 oz., and used all his PCP high to chase after the lady outside with his erect cock hanging out. To his pleasure, he eventually got her cornered in the street. You know what happened next.
took care of the cashier. The fatass never felt so appreciated in his life. The guys kept on talking and talking and realized they all liked the same type of music. AC/DC, Black Sabbath, Deep Purple, Judas Priest, Iron Maiden, Kiss, Alice Cooper, you name it. They were even huge horror movie and porno buffs too. Off of that, the Demon Big Sacs asked him if he would be a part of their band and he said yes wholeheartedly. With all this good communicating going on, they forgot to ask the fellow his name. He told them his name was El Dick Diablo.

anyone to practice but El DD said that Jeff can play drums and that Ethan could play a mean bass. Demon Big Sac was skeptical at first but after seeing them play, he knew he had to have them in the band.


Jizzmaster 420 and Mr. 69 & a Blunt. After Demon Big Sac heard that shit, he smacked them both right in the face and arranged a group meeting without the two idiots; it was about giving the boys proper pseudonyms. El DD said that Ethan Mac's pseudonym should be Dr. Evil Maniac to be ironic since he is the stupidest and most harmless of the two. El DD also suggested that Jeff Donald should be called Jeff Deathslinger since he collects water guns and shows off the ones that look like real guns. The Demon Big Sacs thought the names were halfway decent so they went with them. The two stoners were too stoned to give a shit so they went along with those names.




minute mark, the police stopping the show, people getting offended by El DD's obnoxiously drunk ass, the sight of El DD's normal length penis, stage destruction, mosh pits turning into fights, flying bottles everywhere, gagging, puking, and shitting due to brown notes. Their dancers would quit the job but El DD will legitimately kill the both of them if they do so. Two people have died in their concerts and most audiences were injured. They can't even play in most venues in USA due to their notoriety. The ruckus is usually caused by El Dick Diablo due to his alcoholism, crack and heroin addiction, and his affiliations with countless different hard drugs and the band's godawfully sloppy performance and subject matter. Though when El DD starts acting up on stage, the band only make matters worse by not only playing awfully but by fighting off crowds with their instruments and encouraging El DD's antics, well at least the Demon Big Sacs do, Dr. Evil Maniac and Jeff Deathslinger are too scared to even move when this happens.



and their single Sexorcism of Emily Rose. Out now on Chilly Willy's Soup Kitchen Recs.

Edited by user 30 January 2015 15:27:41(UTC)  | Reason: Not specified

Chilly Willy: Hey Jenny, the boys just got probation for molesting a damn 13-year-old girl with a shitty fake ID from the deep web so I'll be speaking for them. They basically said who the fuck is GG Allin and that Gwar is for fucking retards.

OOC: Thanks for the tip man. Thanks for the praise too.

Andreas: Fuckin' interesting guys! You're totally crazy!

Andreas: Mmmm, we'll talk about that motherfuckin' metalheads!

Andreas: The offer is fuckin' tempting...I'll have to talk with the other guys ha!