Homie, lemme give you some perspective. I'll try not to make this sound patronising, but I dunno, guess advice from 20somethings to teens always comes off that way. Life IS a bitch. But a) life is a whole bigger deal than school. I mean don't get me wrong, it's important, but so long as you are intelligent & (equally as important, if not more so) reasonably driven/motivated any dumb mistakes you make in school will be forgotten by the time you go to college/start working. And b) while I'd feel like a hypocritical buffoon for saying DON'T COMMIT SUICIDE, IT'S WEAK or any of those cliches bearing in mind the number of hours spent dwelling on that subject in the past 15 months, I don't think something like this is worth offing yourself over. You are young, & young people make mistakes, & they hopefully learn from them, it's all part of the process of maturing, becoming an adult. Just not worth it.

Hell, I know these words likely make absolutely no difference from personal experience, but sometimes it's nice to hear a different perspective. I've contemplated suicide after some fucking stupid shit in the past, I probably will again in the future, but just...is it worth it, or if you take some time, reflect, will you find that maybe it's not as big a deal as you initially felt. There is almost always a way to dig yourself out of whatever hole you have managed to fall into.

I'm not anti-suicide per se, I can understand why people do it. And sometimes, if you really have exhausted all possible alternatives then it's a justifiable action, even with all the hurt it will cause your loved ones. But for something like this, I think you should talk to someone about how you are feeling, a school councillor, your friends, your church, a stranger on one of those phonelines like Samaritans, whatever makes you feel comfortable.

Hope you get through it.

This.

Instead, I'm spending my time in hiding; doing obscure photoshoots, majorly detoxing my body, and waiting for September to fucking arrive already. Six months cannot pass any slower...

ME THREE

We can all just ignore the fact I was never doing anything with men, I just want to be part of something.

Spent the past week in Perth, and the last three days painting the outside of my mum's old shop "brick red", which is the closest we could get to the landlord's requested "maroon, but not dark maroon". Also, ripping music to my macbook, almost as if I'm admitting defeat and resigning myself to using it for the time being as my primary machine. OSX still feels wrong compared to Windows, even after having used it for nearly three years. Also, I somehow failed to notice until today, the reason the laptop has always sounded shitty through my old hi-fi, a stereo 3.5mm to RCA cable that was in fact not stereo at all. Fucking A. Still, back to my KRK RP5s tomorrow, sweet relief.

Hmmm, so I sort of wrote a thing on piano just now, into Db minor, currently using two note chords, but if I apply a bit of theory to it, I'll be able to extrapolate that third note for some of the chords, possibly re-voicing that as the leading note in a melodic element superimposed upon it. So if I take the other movement I have scribbled out, pull those chords in line with this new second movement, either in the same key, or in some B minor variation (because B is an IMPORTANT note) I could be on to something. Plus the third movement, which has to be in a harmonic minor key (because it is named after the Arabic equivalent of harmonic minor scale, in order to bring it in line with the overarching Mesopotamian theme), so maybe the first movement is B harmonic minor, or maybe the third movement is somehow derived mathematically from the difference between the keys of the first and second movements.

Do you see? Because I don't.

Edited by user 08 March 2011 10:27:08(UTC)  | Reason: Not specified

Should I take you off the line up for Total Annihilation?

I will be on by that time.






Is only few weeks but hug and kisses to you too lol

oh, well I'm still hugging you because you smell like strawberries. :P

Phale!

Seeing as I'm suspended (and bored as hell) I have lots of free time so I feel like making a hip-hop group simply because I can actually rap, so why not. This will most likely last about 3 minutes but whatever.