Katie Coyle - O2 Academy Oxford - June 14th 2011
There is a bit of a surreal atmosphere in the venue tonight, with most of the crowd quite aware of what happened with Katie and Nicole last night. The crowd are chatty, but there are a lot of half nervous glances shot towards the stage after Gears Of Bremen have left following their set.
For a few moments, the crowd have been chanting Katie's name, but the whole place just feels flat. The roadies have been out, but all they did was place a single mic in the centre of the stage.
All of a sudden, and to the surprise of everyone, Katie walks onto the stage. There was no dimming of the house lights, and the PA didn't even stop playing music until Katie got to her microphone. There is a cheer as she walks on, but she doesn't even lift her head to acknowledge the crowd appreciation.
Katie looks terrible, her hair is pulled back into a ponytail, but it is mostly falling down over her face as well. She has on sweats, and a pair of slippers, and looks like a completely different person to her normal stage performance. She is carrying a small box in her hand of her broken arm, which she cradles with the other one, crossed over her chest. When she looks up, her eyes are puffy and red, and she has no make up on, save for the remnants of yesterday. Her face is streaked with eyeliner and long lines of tears down each cheek. Pulling a chair from the side of the stage, she drags it to the mic stand, it's scratching on the stage floor clearly audible in the painful silence.Katie: (teary voice) I....I...hold on
she turns away for a second and inhales deeply, and slowly...I don't want to be here at all. This isn't gonna be a good show. If you don't want to stay and watch this, it's gonna be painful, then please go now...I promise I'll give everyone a refund personally.
She bursts into tears, and walks away from her seat, where the audience can see her shoulders bobbing as she criesOk...so Elephants Never Forget pulled out. That was my fault. I was a bitch to them, and their friend, and so they have gone home. I'm sorry. Also, Greg isn't up here tonight. That was my fault. Last night I told Gears of Bremen to fuck off, because I was in a bad mood with...with...with (tearily)...with someone. So I didn't ask Greg to come on tonight. So it's just me. I'm sorry. I dunno how this will work, I can't play guitar, so I brought this.
She walks to the front and unfolds a small iPod dock. Someone in the audience laughs, clearly heard because of the shocked quiet in the building. Katie hears it and cries again. She pulls a handkerchief from her pocket and rubs her puffy eyes. Then she gets up and walks over to the side of the stage and lifts a microphone. She puts the microphone on the floor next to dock, all the time in almost complete silence, both from her and her audience.Katie: So...I can't say sorry enough...really guys, but it's the only thing I could think of...sorry....I'll play it and then I'll sing over it...I hope that's ok
A small group boos...yeah...I know...I'm sorry. OK....ummm this one is...it's...
she pulls a small piece of paper, scrunched up, from her pocket and rubs her eyes as she reads it. This one is called
Naked on PaperSome people in the crowd cheer as Katie fails to even notice. She leans forward and presses play on her iPod dock. She refuses to look up at her audience, and she pulls her hood up just before the vocals kick in. Missing the opening line, she shakes her head and slaps herself in the face.
Katie sits down to sing the entire song, and doesn't look up the whole time. She just keeps her head bowed and has the microphone up under her hood. When her gold record single finishes, she doesn't even notice people clapping, cheering, trying to give her the lift that she needs. She leans forward again to press pause, or skip, but she's too slow and she doesn't make it before the next song Invanity starts to play. she shakes her head again, and mouths, "Vanity" before looking upwards.
About halfway through the song, the tears are welling up in her eyes again, and she misses a whole verse as she moves to the back of the stage to sob. She can hear some more enthusiastic members of the audience sing, to try and make it seem not so bad, but she doesn't thank them, or even pretend to notice. She comes back for the final verses.Katie: I see you’re off round the world with
Big shoes and a fancy dress
The people think you’re a big shot
I’ve seen, I know you’re a mess
You think that Katie’s extinguished
Another notch in your bed
One day when I am distinguished
she puts her hand over her eyes before the last line, I don't mean this...I didn't...
That slut and career will be dead
The track finishes and Katie looks shaken by what she just sang. She pauses the dock, and just sits alone and quiet for around a minute. The audience are silent. Eventually, Katie speaksKatie: (still looking down)Last night, two very bad things happened to Katie...pne was the worst thing that has ever happened, but this next song isn't about that....this one is dedicated to a girl who was my first love. Some people may think I look like this because of her, but it's not that...it's something else....but she...she...deep breath Katie...she died last night...this is for Miss Vanity
She leans forward and fiddles around with the dock, before Intravenous starts to play through the microphone. She really struggles to sing the song through her tears, and she keeps looking upwards and shaking her head.Katie: This is love not infatuation
When I saw you in the station
I saw the love in your eyes
It’s like I just escape now
When our skin meets my heart rate
It rises up
With you, I won’t be alone tonight
She slumps down as she sings the last words, and drops of tears can be seen falling to the floor. She reaches down and turns the dock off.Katie: Like I said, Vanity isn't the reason I look like shit....I just wanted to remember her tonight. I'm sorry to her as well. I caused her some shit before. Once again, I'm sorry to everyone....I am struggling, I really am...I dunno...I think...I can't...I just miss Nic...Ni...I can't even say her name...she's gone
As much as she has fought the tears, badly, until now, she just lets go at this point. In front of everyone, she sobs without control, full on tears flowing down her cheeks, and her sweatshirt as she just sits and refuses to fight it. She then sings Sunrise in Suburbia and It's Only My Eyes without a break between. She then pauses the dock and stands up and lifts her mic from the stand.
She walks forward and crouches down, and then sits down on a monitor, head still bowed forward.Katie: For those who don't know what's wrong...ok Katie just say it...just speak...Nic...Nico...Nicole split..up...with me last night. I was being a total bitch to her as usual, and I guess she finally saw sense. Now I've had to cry for like 24 hours straight, and I got forced to come out here. I loved her you know...not loved, love! I always will. She dropped everything for me, and I wont ever forget it. FUCK! She's gone.
She looks out to see the venue half empty, and some people booing her. I'm totally sorry guys, I really am. This next one I'm gonna play is for her. I doubt she'll even ever know I played it, but it's about her and it's called
Less than 3She never moves from her seating position as she sings the love song she wrote for Nicole Woods. As she continues through it, her vocals are very shakey, and some people boo, even though she is visibly shaking through crying as she sings.
The song finishes and there is a very small ripple of applause. Katie stands up.Katie:Last night at about 11PM, I stood on my bus, alone....alone in the whole world, and I had a knife in my hand...I shouldn't be telling anyone this...I had a knife in my hand, and I had my sleeve rolled up...I...really considered it, the metal was even in contact with the skin...I felt the sharp edge start to catch. That was almost the lowest point of my life
she starts sobbing again....that...it...it... was almost... the last point of my life...for real, I was so very close to just pulling across, and it would all be gone...me...all the shit I cause everyone...my bullshit music and all of the sadness that I was feeling.
The only thing that stopped me from pulling it through the artery was my memories. How could I possibly remember her if I had died? Everything Nicole had given me, in my head, would be gone....so I dropped the knife, then I fell, and I lay there crying til I fell asleep. I just...I just miss her...so much. This next song was playing on my iPod at the time...it's not my song, it's by a band, but I want to play it. It's called
"Hold on" by Good CharlotteShe fiddles with the iPod again as more and more people continue to leave. Only those who genuinely feel for her, and those with a morbid interest in her meltdown stay.She doesn't even notice. She hasn't looked up all night. The Good Charlotte song plays out through her dock, and she sings along to it, with her back to the audience for the most part. It's a really sad sight to see Katie like this, alone on stage, and in the world. She looks so weak and pathetic.
After about a minute of the song, the iPod dock stops. Katie goes over to look, and it's batteries are dead. She cries again, and she starts to fumble in her pocket, when a bottle flies past her and breaks just behind her. A group of people in the vicinity of where the bottle came from, start booing and chanting "off! off! off!" over and over. She stands up, and looks out for the first time to the crowd. As the reailty hits her, she cries more than ever and starts to cough loudly, before being sick on the stage.
Suddenly, Katie stumbles forward, and grabs for the mic stand, which doesn't support her weight, and she falls straight into a monitor, where she lies for a while, unconscious.
A security man runs onto the stage, followed by Katie's tour manager and an ambulance driver.Manager: People, I am so sorry. This show is over. We thought Katie would be able to shake it off if she just came out here and played...it was my fault for making her come here. I apologise, I'm sorry.
A shower of boos come from the floor as Katie is helped to her feet. Her forehead is bleeding and she clearly doesn't know where she is, and she is led from the stage slowly. The stage lights dim to black over a backdrop of boos and bottles.