Jason Smith has released a public statement concerning his disappearance and what the future holds for him.
Hello guys and gals, fans, friends and family. It’s Joaquin here (just call me Jason for future reference though, otherwise it’ll get confusing) and I have a lot of things that I need to say. First of all, I’m as sorry as I could ever be... secondly; I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Also, I just wanted to let you know that I’ll be going into rehab very shortly to battle my addiction to various different drugs. Something, or someone, is following me wherever I go and I seriously need help. Since I didn’t do this before I left, I will ask you to remain patient and not to worry about me.
Yesterday, I made an attempt on my own life. I was initially going to drown myself, but I figured that, if I go, I’d at least die doing what I do best. Taking loads and loads of drugs. And if it wasn’t for those meddling police, then I would have died that day and no one would have known. But hey, I’m aiming to sort things out and try and... fix myself, so to speak. I’m going to get onto what provoked me to do this in the first place now.
As many of you will probably know, I had just left Ecuador when I went missing. I think it was an event in Ecuador that led up to this. Now, there are quite a lot of those magical, druid like witch people in that part of the world who like to read minds and shit. For a laugh, I though I would do that. So I went to one of these magical women in some pretty desolate village alongside a couple of members of my entourage. When my reading happened, she said some pretty freaky things. She predicted tough times ahead, recalled very personal things and, freakily, talked to me through Tom. Now, this was upsetting enough and I felt quite sad for a few days since Tom was still unhappy and not in peace. But that isn’t where things ended for me. I was now on my way back to England.
I got home and, although promising that I would go out with Cassie and then with a few friends, I still felt too down and took some sleeping tablets to try and go to sleep. However, and please don’t say that this sounds ridiculous, because it actually happened... I made the comic mistake of picking up a LSD tablet as well. It was dark; I was tired and basically didn’t give a shit. I eventually realised this but just thought that I would have to stay awake for a bit longer, so be it. Things started to go downhill then. A voice started talking to me and I just dismissed it as people in the next room (I was staying at Northampton Premier Inn) and tried to just go back to sleep again. They persisted and became louder until I opened my eyes and saw him in front of me. It was Tom. Floating, as bright as day. He looked very much like I do now, minus the beard and with blood stains all over him. He laughed and then floated inside of me, almost like a possession. I blacked out, only to be woken by the manager who kicked me out because I was screaming too loudly. I brushed this off as a scary experience, but I thought it was one that would go away soon enough.
How wrong I was. He persisted the following night and broke me. Tom wrote the letter. Tom shaved my hair. It was Tom who made me run away and made me want to kill myself. Tom wants revenge. And, if I hadn’t have been found, I guess he would have been successful. As much as I apologise, I fear that this demon is going to keep pushing at me... maybe it’s just all in my head. Maybe it is something deeper and more spiritual than that. Maybe it was the metric ton of drugs that he forced down my gullet and in my veins every day. God only knows. Last night was the first night of decent sleep I’ve had in weeks.
Regarding my music now. I will finish what I have started. I aim to complete P;P with Eric, that’s for definite. This may sound a bit too soon, but I think I want to gather the guys in Mind, apologise for being such a cunt and let us try to work with each other again. If they don’t want to, that’s fine, but I have so much stuff left unsaid in that department. My solo career will be put on hold. I need support from other people at this time and the stuff I had written was too depressing to put out. The promised musical is still in the works though, look out for that.
I just want to thank everyone out there who has been by my side and I hope to see you soon. Please come and visit me anytime you want. I apologise and deeply regret what I have done and I hope that the people who couldn’t take this from me will forgive me. I will understand if they don’t, but I’m practically begging now. This is going to be a long and arduous road to recovery, but I will make it. I love all of you, and remain happy.
