OOC: Im not sure if this is as good as part one, but it's longer lol. Here's part 2
"They essentially ripped me from my dreams of being the pure artist, and turned me into a circus freak.”
“And then I went to the Birdies…”
The mere memory of it seems to send a shudder through Katie’s entire body, and I watch as she brings her left hand slowly up, ruffles her hair, and rubs her temple. Her hand shakes from even this mild exertion. It has been, after all, only a week since she smashed her own cast off prematurely, her arm is probably still not used to being free. Or being used for that matter. After a few seconds, she speaks.
“I walked into the Birdies as a nobody. I was interviewed on my way in by some TV station that I had never heard of before. I think they were called “WTF?” or something. You know, one of those obscure ones that are right up next to Sky Sports? Anyway, everyone else ignored me.
“I was there because I had been nominated for an award, but I knew I wouldn’t win. I was really there to see Miss Vanity, and that’s what I did. Unfortunately I didn‘t know that walking in to that show was going to be my last act as a nobody.”
Suddenly, she stops her story, and I quickly realise why. The waiter brings some bruschetta to our table, compliments of the hotel manager. Seems that people really do know who Katie is though. Her sudden silence tells me though, that she still isn’t totally confident in the limelight. She touches her nose uncomfortably as she waits for the waiter to depart. I didn’t realise it at the time, but Katie uses this distraction to expertly direct the story away from the madness of the media attention that followed the Birdies.
“Yes. Like I’ve said in a couple of interviews before, Vanity and I were, in my own opinion anyway, a couple. We met up at some party in LA when I was on the “Just Another US Tour”. Infinite managed to get me in, because let’s face it, I wouldn’t have got in on the strength of my fame.
“Anyway, something just clicked in my head that night. Obviously I knew she was totally beautiful, I had seen her on TV a million times. But when I saw her that night…well you know that thing where there’s like light from the clouds, and the angels sing “aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh”? Yeah…it was as if that happened. Although Vanity always was uber eccentric, so there’s a chance that she had someone following her with a lamp and singing.”
For some reason, I sense Katie loosening up at the talk of Miss Vanity. It’s as if she’s remembering a previous time in her life when she was happier, when things were easier for her. She relaxes so much that she crosses her legs, her Converse trainers sitting up on the expensive leather of the wingback chair. I glance to my right and try not to bring Katie’s attention to the concierge, who is almost having a fit in the corner of the restaurant, but can’t bring himself to tell the pop star to take her feet off the furniture.
“So yeah, we went our separate ways, but I still visited. I didn’t have a lot of cash then, but Vanity was totally loaded, and she used to buy me first class tickets and tell me to meet her in her hotel. We had such great times. We even met up in here a few times.
“What did we do?” she chuckles and takes a big gulp of wine, before leaning in as if to whisper a secret,
“You know I’m not going to tell you that dude.” She laughs again, and playfully slaps me on the cheek before pouring herself another glass of wine. This is the happiest I have seen Katie yet, and I realise that her debut album really wasn’t some manufactured nonsense, like so many other artists produce. This young girl’s emotions really are all over the place, and always on display.
My next question sends her into a fit of laughter, and she struggles to stop spitting bruschetta all over the table. She leans forward, coughing and laughing as she does so, and raising a hand as if to tell me to wait for my answer. “Yes dude, I knew I was gay before I met Miss Vanity. This isn’t a flash in the pan, like my mom or the tabloids would have you believe, I am a genuine lesbian.”
If it wasn’t for the genuine anger that she seems to have developed at that question, another instance where I see up close her rollercoaster mindset, I’d have ribbed her for use of the word “mom”. She probably doesn’t even notice it, but two weeks of living outside London and she’s already Americanised. Not wanting to bring her down previously, I jump on the chance now to get the interview back on track.
“Wow. Yeah, Chaos Online…it’s a name which still makes me shudder. They essentially ripped me from my dreams of being the pure artist, and turned me into a circus freak.”
The tension is startling, as Katie runs the chain of events through her mind. I look down to see her knuckles turn pure white, such is the power with which she grasps on to the table. I get the feeling that she’d like the table to be the neck belonging to a certain Chaos Online Editor. I’ve learned already that to rush Katie isn’t the best technique, so as she thinks, I merely sit back and wait for her answer. She eventually brushes a solitary tear from her eye, and looks straight into mine,
“Yes, I absolutely blame them for the way I am now. I accept that the story was a story.
“Certainly, when I was like 15 and had a list of favourite pop stars, I’d have wanted to know if they’d done something as scandalous as Miss Vanity did. But what I can’t excuse, even now, is the way they attacked me. Miss Vanity, who I think must have been the big attraction in the story, got off really easy, whilst they pushed me and pushed me.
“I was living in a hotel in Anaheim when it all came out…ummm pun not intended, and they would send photographers and journos over at all times of the day and night to try and make me “confess”. The lowest point, I think, was when they kept trying to photograph me with a magazine called “Girls Who Like Girls”. They’d throw them at me, ask me to hold them, push them under my door, anything to try to get that killer photograph. Those were the saddest days of my life so far.”
I feel inclined to know why she didn’t alleviate the pressure on herself by just admitting it, since she claims to not be ashamed of her sexuality, and blurt out a question which I’m almost sure will see her terminate the interview. Instead, she looks skywards, then back at me, and then hugs her arms in tight to herself, pulling her sweater closely around her.
“She told me I couldn’t tell anyone,” Katie says softly, “And I loved her so much that I believed that by not telling anyone, we’d be able to be together someday.
“Now that I can see the truth though,” she bows her head and shakes it, making a tutting, scoffing noise as if scolding herself for being so stupid, “I see that she was never going to get with me, because it didn’t fit her image, and she couldn’t stand to have people know. She never would have admitted it.”
We are interrupted once more as our waiter brings us a steaming bowl of lobster soup each. He presents a huge pepper mill and asks if I like any. I politely decline, and he offers some to Katie. She shakes her head like a petulant child, without even looking at the waiter. This has become a trend in the meal so far. The negative way in which she reacts to fame makes me uneasy, and as I take a spoonful of soup I can’t tell if I feel sorry for her or not. We move on however, to her break up from Miss Vanity.
Upon hearing the question, Katie clams up again. She looks at her soup, and she stirs the surface of it intently with the tip of the spoon. I can’t tell in these moments if she’s thinking of an answer or trying to stall me. But I wait patiently nonetheless.
“I came out and admitted it on Twitter because I was so lonely,” she finally pipes up. “I was back in London, and she had told me we couldn’t see each other ‘until it all blows over’, which made me so sad. Plus, I had my arm broken, and I had run out of painkillers (she checks with me that we’ll come back to that story before continuing), and I was just so sad.”
A long pause again, before a long, deep sigh, and I see a solitary tear run down her cheek.
“And then just as soon as I posted it, it was over. She just attacked me, and said I was a silly little selfish girl. I think, to be honest, we were just so different, and our intentions so far apart, that even we couldn’t see it. Vanity wanted a fling, without love, or anyone knowing. Katie essentially wanted a relationship, with a future, and the world behind us. That could just never work. IK was just crushed though. The pain was like nothing I had felt before, up until that point anyway.”
She contemplates this for a while longer, and I get the sense that this is the first time since it all took place that she has let herself think about it in detail. She shakes her head though and takes her first spoonful of soup, taking her time to swallow it.
“And then of course, as if that wasn’t all crazy enough, and hurt me to my core, there was the whole fiasco with Nicole.”
Part 3 coming soon…