Invanity (feat Eric Quillington) (6:11)
Katie’s CommentsGetting on towards the tale end of the album now, and the real sort of dark, negative, depressive side of Katie is starting to show more and more. This song is, of course, about the break up between me, Katie, and Miss Vanity. I called it Invanity, because it epitomises the sort of downward spiral she sent me into when she unceremoniously dumped me like a bag of rubbish. I went from being a happy go lucky girl who was in what she thought was a brilliant, happy, loving relationship with a wonderful woman....to a depressed girl living on the (wrong) edge of sanity, feeling like I had been hung out to dry by a superstar who just didn't care that she had hurt me, or that it was destroying me mentally.
I really don't have to point out the track by track story anymore I don't think, but chronologically, this was the next stage in the tale, and it gets close to where I feel the story should end. I am not proud of this song at all, and at first I was not going to use it in the album. But for the story aspect, and for the album to feel real, true and honest, it really does help give it an edge emotionally.
I was in a very bad place when I wrote this. I think I saw the paper through red eyes and soaked cheeks, because I cried for weeks after it. This was a really terrible part of my life, and I hope that people can hear that when they hear the tune. I know that the music behind my words ( thank you again Eric) really helps me to regain that emotion, and so I hope that it brings a degree of empathy through to you guys as well.
You'll also notice it gets more angry throughout as the song progresses. I suppose that's because of the stages of hurt, sadness, loneliness, and finally anger, that I went through at the time. Again, this is raw, pure organic emotion from me in this track. I apologise to Miss Vanity for it, and I thank Nicole dearly for not having a problem with it being released.
Track descriptionThe song starts with a very repetitive guitar chord, played frantically, quickly, and over and over in quick successsion. This lasts for around 20 seconds before the same chord is played once, very slowly strummed. Katie's quiet voice whispers "shhhhhh".
Then another acoustic guitar part comes in, playing a finger picking riff which is fast, and then followed by the same single, slow chord, and Katie's soft voice whispers, "shhhhhh".
A drummer plays 1,2,3,4 notes on the rim of the snare, the skin and strings rattling lightly as he does, and the proper riff kicks in alongside one quietish tssshhhh on the crash cymbal. The chords are played quite quickly, alongside a very fast picking section, which stops as the vocals come in
Verse (1) is sung with only the chords for accompaniment. The lyrics are sung very fast, with a very much different tone to Katie's voice. The tone is lower, the emotion is more angry, and sad at the same time, and she peaks in the middle of each line. This plays down the last word of each line, giving a feeling of giving up, regret and hopelessness.
Verse (2) follows straight on from (1) without even the hint of a break. The only difference is the volume in her voice, which is still depressed, but louder and more commanding. The second line is sung in a much more upbeat tone for some reason. This only serves to highlight the depressed tone of line 3 and 4 however. At the last line of (2) the guitar stops the start of the last word.
All is silent for a few seconds, before the chorus (.c) comes in. The guitar plays a chord on the first word, and each of the "aye"s and remains silent for the rest of that line. On the even numbered lines it plays a finger picking section, to accompany the much faster and more frantic lines of the chorus (lines 1 and 3 and 9 and 11 are sung slow, and she hangs on to each word.)
Line 5 onwards is sung with the accompaniment of a continually strumming guitar again, as it is faster, and sung as one continuous piece, seemingly ignorant of the line breaks. The second section (from line 9) of the chorus (.c) is the same again repeated.
Katie "shhhhhhh" again straight after the chorus, and we hear her breathing quite quickly. The guitar then comes back in, strumming only chords along to verse (3). Theseverses (3) and (4) and are sung with alternating tones. She sings the first in a very downtrodden voice, displaying her pathetic depression, before the even numbered lines seem to give some semblance of hope, only to be dashed by the lyrics.
(.c) as above
The the unexpected happens. Katie counts out loud 1,2,3, and then the drummer plays a quick drum fill. The guitar kicks in with some ballad type loud chords, and Katie's voice sounds triumphant. Each line of the bridge (.b) is sung with a more positive tone. The lines are sung like that of an 80s power ballad, and are loud, brash, and even slightly cheesy. This makes a bizarre sounding comedown, when we return to the verse (5) after it.
Verse (5) is sung as vocal only, no guitar, before drums (played with a brush) come in for the second part.
Verse (6) and the guitar returns, along with the whistling of Eric Quillington, which brilliantly mimics the tone, sound and style of each and every word of the verse sung by Katie.
(.c) As above
Verse (7) and (8) are accompanied by both strumming and picking on guitars, and are a lot faster than all verses before them. Her voice sounds angry now as she has a proper dig at Vanity and really lays into her. There is venom when she wishes Vanity dead as well. We can almost sense how she spits out the words to that hateful line.
(.c) as above
(.c) A capella, just Katie, very quiet, very slow, and very sad
The song ends to the sound of Katie's sobbing.
Lyrics(1)How did it come to this, we
We had it all in our hands and,
I watched as you drained away and
We simply failed to exist
(2)It was like a dream so ecstatic, where
you wake up just to find
That it was all in your head, and
It’s snatched away just as quick
(.c)And aye ee aye need
Someone to hold my hand, and
Aye ee aye need
A girl who’s more than a friend, and
This is not what we agreed to
I am not the enemy
But you act just like a princess
Denying all knowledge of me
And Aye ee aye would
I’d walk all night for you and
Aye ee aye would
I’d drive right round to you but
You don’t feel just what I’m feeling
And you don’t return my calls
All I wanted was some comfort
You were never here at all
(3)My personal Indian Summer
Brief burst of temperatures high
You didn’t take long to discover
I guess I wasn’t your type
(4)But in the end all I wanted, was
For you to be who I hold
Now there’s hope you get haunted
Just like when I was exposed
(.c)And aye ee aye need
Someone to hold my hand, and
Aye ee aye need
A girl who’s more than a friend, and
This is not what we agreed to
I am not the enemy
But you act just like a princess
Denying all knowledge of me
And Aye ee aye would
I’d walk all night for you and
Aye ee aye would
I’d drive right round to you but
You don’t feel just what I’m feeling
And you don’t return my calls
All I wanted was some comfort
You were never here at all
(.b)For now I lie alone in the cold of the night
It was the end of us but not the end of my life
Yes it hurt me bad when you spat in my face
I only hope you realise you’re a fucking disgrace
(.b)For now I lie alone in the cold of the night
It was the end of us but not the end of my life
Yes it hurt me bad when you spat in my face
I only hope you realise you’re a fucking disgrace
(5)When I reached out I was lonely
You scoffed and laughed at my pain
All that I wanted was only
You, but clearly that was in vain.
(6)The world just had to know that
Little Katie’s the case of a nut
But Vanity’s blushes are spared now
Priorities born of a slut
(.c)And aye ee aye need
Someone to hold my hand, and
Aye ee aye need
A girl who’s more than a friend, and
This is not what we agreed to
I am not the enemy
But you act just like a princess
Denying all knowledge of me
And Aye ee aye would
I’d walk all night for you and
Aye ee aye would
I’d drive right round to you but
You don’t feel just what I’m feeling
And you don’t return my calls
All I wanted was some comfort
You were never here at all
(7)I see you’re off round the world with
Big shoes and a fancy dress
The people think you’re a big shot
I’ve seen, I know you’re a mess
(8)You think that Katie’s extinguished
Another notch in your bed
One day when I am distinguished
That slut and career will be dead
(.c)And aye ee aye need
Someone to hold my hand, and
Aye ee aye need
A girl who’s more than a friend, and
This is not what we agreed to
I am not the enemy
But you act just like a princess
Denying all knowledge of me
And Aye ee aye would
I’d walk all night for you and
Aye ee aye would
I’d drive right round to you but
You don’t feel just what I’m feeling
And you don’t return my calls
All I wanted was some comfort
You were never here at all
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