Joseph Simonsen (commonly called Joey Starzzz) has hit the music world by storm in only 16 days, already releasing a single with his band, Faking Our Own Destiny, and also knocking up Cassie "Bitch" Summers, former Cosmic Beauty Contest and current GL(i)TCH lead singer, who is famously known for her bitchy attitude and cruelty to other celebrities. Seeing as Mr. Simonsen was making such a mark on the music world, we decided that we would have a chat with him to discuss his past, present and future.

To start the interview off, we asked him whether he believed his band was destined for greatness so to speak.

"Well, I'd say we're pretty fucking amazing, and once we've released more music, we're gonna be your fucking favourite band ever. We're 5 guys that have known eachother for years and are all amazing at musical... stuff. We're incredible, better than all this computerized mainstream pop shit, and don't let me get started on rap either. The annoying thing about pop music now is that you don't even need to be a good singer anymore, the computer makes you sound good anyway. Well, unless of course your name is Suzie, who is shit even when her vocal recordings are put through that computer. And rap music aswell, I don't see how it is classed as a musical genre, it's basically talking to a beat. I could have a conversation with a drum beat behind me and I'd be a better rapper than anyone. Just when you're rapping it's always about getting drunk, taking drugs and fucking random chicks, I do all of that anyway and I don't need to produce shit music, half of these rappers don't do what they say they do in their songs. They're all cunts in pop and rap."


We asked him where he reckoned Faking Our Own Destiny's debut single 'Suicide' would place on the single's charts.

"It's going to be number-fucking-1. The only way it wouldn't get there would be if there was a better band than us, and there isn't. So we've got nothing to worry about."

We asked him if he was always this arrogant and cocky.

"I'm not being arrogant or cocky my friend, I'm just right. I tell the truth, if there's on thing that I don't do, that is lying. So when I say something like I am the best or I'm amazing. Just keep your fucking mouth shut and accept that, because it's true."

That quickly shut our interviewer up for a minute or so, but then he got back to the questions, asking about Faking Our Own Destiny's debut album, "Emergency!", which will be released at the end of 2011.

"We've started planning work for Emergency! and so far, so good. We've got a few songs written ready to be put to demos. This album is the fucking future, this will be number 1 album for a very long time. Suicide has already got off to an amazing start, and this album will be a lot more successful."

We asked him if he'd got any song titles ready.

"Well, we've got Suicide on there, we've got our upcoming single Fallen. We've written two other songs so far, one called "Action, Reaction!" and the other is called "Beautiful Disease" which are both going to be amazing."

We then moved on to more personal questions, asking him about his relationship with Cassie Summers.

"Well, as most of the world already know, we are an item so to speak. She asked me out on a date on my first day in the music scene, which because of her bitchy attitude and sexiness, I couldn't have said no. We got pissed, went to hers and didn't use a condom. Until quite a while after I thought it was just going to mean a one night stand, but I logged on to my Twitter page and saw that Cassie had sent me a tweet, saying that she was pregnant. At first I though she was joking but then I realized that she was telling the truth, that I was going be a father, that I had made a complete stanger pregnant. I arranged to meet up with her to discuss what was going to happen, and it all happened from there, we became a couple. We realized that we were going to be starting a family."

We asked him if the sound of starting off a family from scratch appealed to him.

"Yes, of course it does. I finally feel as if I have now got a big responsibility, and I do. I'll have a responsibility to look after Cassie and this baby once it is born. Not that Cassie needs looking after really, she's pretty tough and intimidating to most people. But I somehow managed to pass through the barrier and fall in love with a Cassie that absolutely no one ever had seen before."

Part two will be up tomorrow.