Kaylee: If you hug me, there is a 98% chance it'll be the very last thing you do. I don't do threats often, just as I never curse. But physical contact with other human beings, other than for the purposes of pro-creation, is a vile and unnecessary occurence. Please back off Mr...I don't know your name actually.

Kaylee: Well the other two percent is the chance that I'll let you live so I can do a weird, mucked up experiment on you. Have you seen the Human Centipede? They weren't kidding when they said that it was 100% medically accurate. It's only as low as 2% because I doubt I'll have the time to conduct experiments when I'm more famous than anyone. Ever.
But don't fret, you have nothing to worry about. You wouldn't be part of that 2% ever. I need as many Mexicans on the pay roll to do my gardening as possible. You'd be no use to me sewn together at the gastric tract.

Kaylee: With a name like Joaquin Taco-Burrito, you are hardly, "about as Mexican as me". I am as pure upper class American as they come...you are descended from a people whose biggest achievement in life was when they didn't get shot trying to swim to Texas.
Sexual frustration? I can assure you Senor, that I am not sexually frustrated. Not at all. Like I say, coitus should be used for pro-creation only. And only when a medical laboratory is physically unavailable. It is messy, and unnecessary, and is not a recreational activity any more than robbery or grand theft auto. I did find myself sexually aroused once however. Yes, I just made my PhD discovery breakthrough, and suddenly felt what I believed to be urine in my underwear. Confused by the fact that I had lost control of a bladder which had remained iron-like for the 22 years prior, I conducted a test, and discovered it was indeed not urine. The rest of my life I have managed to abstain from such animalistic feelings.
The desire to experiment is nothing to do with "anilingus" actually. But merely to become the forefather (or mother) of new life.

Erich: nobody ever wants my hugs.

Karoliena: do you blame them?

Erich: of course. i dont blame myself! Kaylee,the name is mr hess,as in the gas station or the nazi mad man.

Karoliena: i dont think any of them were particularly sensible.

Erich: good point. Miss comatose,my offer for a hug has no expiration date.you call me any time,and i will be there with a loving hug. I know you find it silly and gross, but there will come a day where you will need a friend and i,i want to be there.

Karoliena: THATS IT!! No more dr phil for you,erich.