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Offline Mouschi  
#1 Posted : 26 August 2011 00:37:01(UTC)
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So, this morning on This Morning, there was an interview with three women who share the same (otherwise engaged) man and also have multiple partners of their own, because it is "PolyDay" on Saturday, a day for people with this lifestyle to come out about it. I've read up a fair amount about it. And yes, it's come up in roleplay again. So, here is an actual debate thread on it.

Polyamory is what the word looks like - having many lovers. Not swinging, which is having multiple sexual partners without any romantic attachment, nor cheating, which is going behind your partner's back and is definitely wrong. Polyamory is multiple loving relationships at one time. Which is a lovely idea - I see it as a far better way for people who feel this way than either being miserable in monogamy or resorting to infidelity.

However, it's not a lifestyle to be taken lightly. The biggest issue would be jealousy. It can be overcome, but it involves a lot of work. Making sure that everyone knows each other, everyone knows what each other's doing, it's all very complex - but if you really know what you're doing, stay faithful and trust each other, then surely it's worth it for love? Discuss.
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Offline genocidal king  
#2 Posted : 26 August 2011 00:43:48(UTC)
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Seriously? How weird is that, considering?
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Offline forkboy  
#3 Posted : 26 August 2011 03:37:00(UTC)
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It's only particularly weird because we grow up in a Judeo-Christian country where monogamy has been standard fair for bugger knows how long. Ages
Offline RoseJapanFan  
#4 Posted : 26 August 2011 06:19:03(UTC)
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Why not just not commit to someone if you can't fully commit to one person while in a marriage? A marriage like that is a joke. Of course there will be jealousy why? Because neither of the 3 are fully comfortable with the idea. I don't even like sharing food so why would I want to share a husband or boyfriend with someone? It's a terrible idea. It's like cheating with permission. It's like the man who has like 17 wives. I find it ridiculous any of them are okay with that idea. It's just gonna cause problem after problem after problem.
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Offline Raphaela  
#5 Posted : 26 August 2011 08:26:27(UTC)
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I personally have no problem with sex with others without any feelings when you are in a serious relationship.
I find free love amazing, but I don't think I could handle.
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Offline DistortedAudio  
#6 Posted : 26 August 2011 08:52:29(UTC)
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I've said it once and I'll say it again: You can be a fucking buffalo for all I care as long as you don't shit on my lawn.

In all seriousness, polygamy is one of the many things on my 'I Don't Care'/'OK With' list. As long as you aren't one of those rapist, Son of Sam polygamists, you can have all the wives you want...but keep away from my wife because that's a problem.
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Offline Gildermershina  
#7 Posted : 26 August 2011 09:25:07(UTC)
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I think monogamy runs deeper into the human psyche than just a religious tradition of ownership.
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Offline forkboy  
#8 Posted : 28 August 2011 04:02:25(UTC)
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Originally Posted by: Gildermershina Go to Quoted Post
I think monogamy runs deeper into the human psyche than just a religious tradition of ownership.

Except there are plenty of cultural examples of polygamy/polyamory.

RoseJapanFan, marriage is a joke. And just because you don't understand something doesn't make it wrong or a terrible idea. Cheating is in fact not cheating if you have permission. It's called cheating because its breaking the rules, like cheating at a card game. If free love is in the rules then it ain't cheating.

Now I find the Islamic tradition of men having multiple wives distasteful because it is sexist (women cannot have 5 husbands, men can have loads of wives), not because it's "weird"
Offline RoseJapanFan  
#9 Posted : 28 August 2011 04:08:27(UTC)
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Originally Posted by: forkboy Go to Quoted Post
Originally Posted by: Gildermershina Go to Quoted Post
I think monogamy runs deeper into the human psyche than just a religious tradition of ownership.

Except there are plenty of cultural examples of polygamy/polyamory.

RoseJapanFan, marriage is a joke. And just because you don't understand something doesn't make it wrong or a terrible idea. Cheating is in fact not cheating if you have permission. It's called cheating because its breaking the rules, like cheating at a card game. If free love is in the rules then it ain't cheating.

Now I find the Islamic tradition of men having multiple wives distasteful because it is sexist (women cannot have 5 husbands, men can have loads of wives), not because it's "weird"


Why is marriage a joke? And I believe that's called an opinion :)
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Offline Gildermershina  
#10 Posted : 28 August 2011 08:41:30(UTC)
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Originally Posted by: forkboy Go to Quoted Post
Originally Posted by: Gildermershina Go to Quoted Post
I think monogamy runs deeper into the human psyche than just a religious tradition of ownership.

Except there are plenty of cultural examples of polygamy/polyamory.


Well sure, but my point is, it's not that it's some bizarre constraint put on us, it's more like, some people want to love one person more than any other, and other people do not.

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Offline Mt. Epic  
#11 Posted : 28 August 2011 15:17:30(UTC)
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if it works out, then great for polygamists, but I would consider it to be very hard to love multiple lovers with the same equal passion that people express that only have a single lover.
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Offline xNightsidex  
#12 Posted : 29 August 2011 00:33:49(UTC)
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It's no secret that I have some kind of underlying commitment issue which is why I tend to bounce between partners to no end, sometimes multiple at once, and while for the most part it's a simple lust-driven thing I suppose, more lately I've been veering off the compassionate edge from meeting a lot of new people who earned my trust and in turn a piece of my heart. Then again, I'm 19, I'd consider that too young to want to commit to anything monogamous anyhow, but if it's not harming anyone emotionally, I think that, for one, it's a brilliant idea, and two, if you're emotionally capable then it works. Very well. You don't have to tether feelings to one person, it doesn't necessarily mean you have a smaller heart or a lot less love to give, some people just prefer not to be exclusive because it's what they're used to, I suppose.
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