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"Love Knocks You Down"
"Hey everyone!! Lady Raine here!! :) So this is my first official blog I've started to do. I am happy to say I'm HOME in L.A. in the comfort of my own place. There was soooo many things I could've talked about but I thought after the events of the past weeks, this is a MUCH needed topic to be discussed. Let's talk about L-O-V-E. From my understanding, a lot of people don't understand the meaning or how much power the word carries. It's not something you should just fling everywhere on anybody, but only when you mean it. EXAMPLE! It took me 17 years to tell a guy I was ever in love with him and I meant it too. Every Sally, Ann, Sue, Joe, or Bobby, you do NOT use Love with. It's a POWERFUL word and can cause a LOT of damage, see me for why I am writing this blog now lol. It's a very bittersweet thing. Once you feel it, everything's great. You're happy, the person you love is happy, wonderful!! But when you say it and don't really mean it?? OUCH! It's hurts! How do I know if someone doesn't mean it? When they repeatedly hurt you over and over and OVER again! But you know me, let's not use metaphors or 'hypothetical' situations, let's get real. My examples?? Layla Raine and Jason Smith.
All was well in the beginning but let me remind you of who screwed up, both times! It's no secret I've always had a crush on Jason and I never hid it at all. I was jumping like a school girl when we were going to the Chaos Awards together. See I didn't care about his past or anything, I just wanted to get to know him for myself. But Jason decides to screw up before we even get to the date! He decides to sleep with someone on his tour bus because he was drunk. Nice isn't it? Went on the date, all went OKAY, spent the night together boom, done. As it turns out, feelings were deep for that Mr. Smith. Soooo what did I do? I pursued them. I went to another country just to see him, not one country buuuuuuut what 2 or 3?? Hmm, not something the normal girl would do you know? OH and here's the best part! He left to be on Big Brother where I watched him proclaim his love to none other than Cassie Summers! How does one forget about his girlfriend stuck on a tour bus back in another country?? Well he did. Fast Forward to present times, I decided to forgive him for all that. Again, I didn't want to dawn on the past but concentrate on me getting to know Jason again. What happens then?? Oh, how about he basically just ignores me and wants to spend time with his best friend? Hey, I have a best friend too but there's a time for that and it's not when you want to try to rebuild your relationship with someone. No one wants to be the third wheel and with those two, I felt like that. I moved with him to London and for what? To get left home by myself every night while he went and decided to get drunk with his best friend and his girlfriend. Even HE invited his girlfriend but nooo not Layla. Layla sits at home bored wondering when the next time she'd get to even speak to her boyfriend.
Gooooosh this is long! Okay and now we've 'broken up' I guess?? I didn't really feel like we were together actually. My opinion? Just go ahead and do everyone a favor and turn gay and you and Eric can be lovers okay? I mean if you want to spend time with him more than me 1. You must obviously not even be that interested in me or 2. You must love him and not that 'Brotherly love' or 'Best friend love' no I mean full blown L-O-V-E. The point of this was for me to vent which I actually feel better now. You love me but you tell me that I deserve better? You love me but you don't want to be with me? Do you love me like you loved Cassie? Apparently it wasn't hard before to leave me and be with someone else so I guess I can understand why you did leave. Any man I know that loves someone FIGHTS for them and doesn't want to lose them. He doesn't keep making up excuses and hurting someone. He faces all of his fears and insecurities and LOVES her. OBVIOUSLY I loved you and all your flaws yet you kept pushing me away. *Sighs* Okay, I've written a lot for now. Maybe this will reach out to some man out there who is going through the same thing or is acting like a jerk and stupid. The moral of this lovely tale is Don't say you love someone unless you really mean it. It's been thrown around so much and used in vain. Sooooo therefore, I'm finished with this blog and hope someone can get something out of it :) I love you guys so much and thanks for reading!!!!" - Lady Raine |
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