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Joined: 30/06/2009(UTC) Posts: 874  Location: The Land Of Nob. Thanks: 107 times
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Hi! My name is Lady Kitten Kassia Brooke van Mouschi-Dale-Bridges. Or Kitena Dale, as most may know me. I'm 21 years old, and a California girl - well, I was born in Omaha in Nebraska, but I was told by my mother, the late, great, Honourable Baroness Kasia Mareike van Mouschi OBE, suitably nicknamed "Kash", Queen of the Socialites, to only ever say that if someone's talking about Bright Eyes, so that I can say I'm from the same place as Conor Oberst. I used to live in Santa Monica when my musical career started. I was only 15 then, and my mother loved my ability on the bass guitar. She said that I was an even better bassist than her, and that's saying something, as she used to be in the illustrious Moronic Changeling. Also, I could, and still can, SCREAM! Not a scream like a baby, a tuneful scream. I can also sing clean, but screaming is my "thing".
Anyway. Mom wanted to make me famous. An underage screaming female solo bassist? Who'd done that before? Someone, apparently. This poor British child, who looked like she'd been pulled out of a trash can and cursed like she knew no other words, calling herself "Kamikaze Kate", was gathering attention. Her first single was ear-bleeding nonsense. Hadn't even been mastered or studio recorded or anything, it was just utterly awful. Mom told me that she wouldn't last five minutes compared to my brilliant music, but people were far more interested in her, because she was so "shocking". Then, Mom suggested that if I can't beat them, join them. I went public about how much I hated Kate, but all in good manners. She cursed back. We built up a rivalry, people started to listen to me, and realised how much better I was compared to Kate - the comparison between the two little brats, the scumbag and the rich kid, enticed people to buy our music.
I guess the music industry rubbed a few corners off me. I'm not the snob I used to be. I hate my old self, in a way - I no longer hate Kate, or any other poor person, because they are poor. I continued to hate Kate, but only her. The music industry was a mix of people, and I had a good time in it. I had a fiancé known as Fat Chance, from the band The Prisoners - very much into campaigning for equality, not the sort of people that my mother would associate with, and the kind of people whom I would have turned up my chubby nose at. Yes, my old self weighed 300 pounds or something. I have glandular issues, OK!? I'm much happier now that I've gotten to know and make friends with more people in different walks of life. I split up with Fat Chance years ago, and have a new boyfriend, Harvey Mason from the band arcades. We just started dating recently. He's not a big money musician either, but I don't mind.
After my mother sadly passed away, I moved to North Roxbury Drive, Beverly Hills, and gave up on music. I do miss it sometimes, strum on my bass guitar, scream my old songs, but now, I'm just a socialite and heiress. Life isn't as interesting as it was, but it's simple and fun. Everyone knows me on this road; every time I see someone in the street, they're like, "Hi, Kitena!" Everyone's nice and friendly here. Well, almost everyone. I heard the new neighbors, playing loud music at 2am, and I've seen the filthiest men, probably male prostitutes, coming in and out of that house. Don't they know that the rest of North Roxbury Drive likes a good night's sleep?
I went over the next morning to ask them what their problem was, but when I rung their doorbell - probably worth more than Kamikaze Kate's whole house, I wickedly thought - who did I see but the girl herself? We both jumped back.
"K-K-Kate?" I stuttered, still in disbelief that it was her, half-hoping she'd say that she was someone else.
"Kamikaze .... CUNT!" she replied. Yes, definitely her. "Come in - kamikaze - Kitena."
I was surprised to see her house - as good as my own, if not better!? She must be visiting a rich friend. There is no WAY.
"Wow," I uttered, still in shock. "I barely recognised you under all that eyeliner - you can afford make-up now?"
"Fuck you," she swore. "I barely recognised you, bitch, under all that - non-fat .... what the fuck happened to your fucking fat?"
"LighterLife," I said. "Who lives here?"
"Just Slutriona and me, but people come over all the time."
"You live here!?" I almost fell off her expensive sofa. My voice heightened. "You do know that this is a 90210 zip code!"
"I made money sucking .... I mean being a shite guitarist!" she laughed at herself, realising that I probably would take the first bit literally. I laughed with her, as if we had suddenly become best friends. "So what in the name of arse are you doing now? Just living like a rich bitch?"
I smiled and sighed. "Yes, actually. Early retirement at 21."
She rolled her eyes, which looked kind of scary with the amount of make-up there was around them. "Sad. You should go for the Moronic fucking Changeling bassist job, they're looking for a new tosspot."
"Really?" My mouth fell open, it felt like it had dropped to the floor. How could I not have known this? My mother's old job was available!? "You're kidding me."
"No bloody joke, Kuntena. Anyway, as much as I love talking to a wee tight-arse like yourself, I've got my nephew Hiram coming over. Piss off."
"You've got a nephew? I didn't know Catriona had ...."
She interrupted me, and looked at the floor. "Long story. Now bugger off. Go talk to Jimmybitch about being in that bumshite band of his. Kamikaze-eee."
We said our goodbyes and promised to catch up later. I wondered how much I'd missed of that mouthy little girl - woman - growing up. Now I would be living next door to her and her sister, and whoever came over. I couldn't believe it. And I did just as she said. I called Dark Blue Music in England, asked Jimmy for an audition .... he said I didn't need one. "You're Kitena Dale! You're a genius!" I could practically hear him beaming. I would be back to Portishead as soon as my social calendar allowed for it.
But for now - welcome, one and all, to North Roxbury Drive.OOC : This is a story thread, but anyone's welcome to post in it (doesn't have to be as this long) if they're visiting Kate, Kitena or Catriona. You could even claim that your character lives on the street and start your own story here if you want. Your call. (: |
