Do I hate myself, or do I hate the world?
Does the world reject me, or do I reject it?
Am I raped by nature, or tortured by society?
Am I intelligent, asinine, crippled, or crazy ;
For I have no ability...
Give me a gun, or a pill and I shall have some fun,
Self abuse is the best remedy to use.
Don't call me a loser, call me the user,
For if I'm the user, can I be the loser?
Yes, the lonely user feels like an abuser and an abuser is a loser.
Suicide is not something to hide,
Like a caged animal that's tired of being inside,
Just use a knife to end my strife.


This doesn't rhyme, may not even make sense. I really don't care.

Remember: Suicide is not something to shrug your shoulders to, and depression is not fake. It's some for real shit, and it can make one go through hell. It's a living nightmare and there is no escape, no one to run to, and no need to cry, either way every day we die.

Edited by user 03 November 2011 16:27:48(UTC)  | Reason: Not specified

Yeah, depression and anxiety disorder, right here. It's not fun, but I've kind of given up on medication. I've found the way to manage it is to try and use it to your advantage. My anxiety issues have prevented me from doing all kinds of simple things other people take for granted. But then, I made a decision pretty recently, to just say "fuck it" and instead of saying no and sticking to my comfort zone, just getting out there and doing that thing.

Depression for me swings between apathy and existential terror. Neither is great, but I find that as long as I can push into new experiences, trying something new, I can get past it. Every time in your mind you say to yourself "I'm not good enough", or "that'll never happen" then you're giving up. And I'm saying that even while saying to myself that "I'm not good enough" to talk to that girl I like, or get that promotion, but I went for the promotion and I'm being interviewed for it, so that's one thing at least.

Anyway, never forget that you are not alone. At least, you don't have to be.

I've got no catch-all answer. It's not that simple. There's no single solution that means you're no longer going to be depressed.

Woody Allen did a film a couple of years back with Larry David, called Whatever Works, and Larry David plays a guy who has depressive tendencies, but his philosophy is pretty simple: Whatever works. Ultimately, you get by by getting by. You find the things that make you happy, and you keep doing them, and try not to do the things that make you unhappy - or at least, try not to focus on those things.

Nothing is ever perfect, but if you come home from a shitty day, watch your favourite TV show and eat some nice food, and go to bed content, that's what matters. There is no permanent state of happiness, it's all just little moments. So you try to make the most of those moments and try to be happy with what you get.

Just recently I started to go to the pub some nights after work with my colleagues, and started playing badminton with some guys, hanging out after or before work, and that's a big fucking step for me. It's a complete 180 from where I was. I'm not all the way there yet, but I am much happier about going to work now. Even though the job is kind of terrible, and even though there's some horrible office politics going on, and even though I have feelings for a girl that I cannot bring myself to admit for fear of rejection, I get by. I go home happy. It works for me. I try to be a nice guy to people, and people are nice back to me. I have no idea what they're saying behind my back, but I let it go.

So the short answer is: if you're depressed because of X, then change X.

I get all of what you two are saying, I've even tried most of that. My only thing is I get stressed real easily, or I get real angry in whatever I'm doing. The smallest thing makes me explode, but something big I automatically block out. It's like most of the time I'm numb and nothing gets to me, but then I have these days where I don't even want to get out of bed.

Yeah, why?

You're telling me that I am not depressed?

No, nobody who has experienced depression would imply that someone else was simply putting it on. What he's saying is that having a proper perspective on life when you are in the midst of a bout of depression is pretty hard at the best of the times, & that's even more so the case when you are in your teens. It's an awkward point in life, with social pressures combining with school & the basic physiological changes going on in your body.

I started getting really low probably when I was 15, or thereabouts. I still deal with it, or fail at dealing with it, today. 12 years or more later. I can only speak from my own perspective but it gets better. Of course sometimes it gets worse, but there is light in between the tunnels. And truth be told, despite action seeming hard at times when you are in the pits, it's really the best way to deal with depression. And most people who deal with depression either as a teenager or as an adult are able to get over it eventually through things like medication, CBT & other methods of "talking" therapy.

Also, if you really are dealing with suicidal thoughts then I'm going to say quite simply, go to see your local doctor. Straight up, suicidal thoughts are not normal in most people & having them is not a good place to be in. Obviously that would be harder in America than in the UK where visiting the GP is free, so I'm not sure what I can advise on that front.

Depression runs in our family. It's in our genes.