"A warning sign
I missed the good part, then I realized
I started looking and the bubble burst
I started looking for excuses
Come on in
I've gotta tell you what a state I'm in
I've gotta tell you in my loudest tones
That I started looking for a warning sign"

- "Warning Sign," Coldplay

Ryan is still continuing his Bob Dylan look, which I guess one could come to the conclusion that such look means looking the equivalent of a cowboy. You see, with every album cycle, Ryan takes on different musical persona's and he embraces them with a smirk when he carries out that message beyond just his music. With his debut album, his look was one of a preppy Abercrombie wearing kid who was fresh out of college and was still wide-eyed. When his second record came around, his look shifted more to a less caring rockstar who just wanted to play music. His hair grew in size and curls as he embraced his blues roots. He even went to the length of getting a complete tattoo sleeve that now covers his entire left arm. With Let a Man Be Lost, his third album, is to-date his most high-maintenance look. During that period he was fully covered in what the media would perceive as being the Hollywood look. Even when he wore simple white t-shirt, you could tell it was from some ridiculous expensive brand like Armani, where a single white undershirt costs one hundred and thirty dollars. With his most recent release, Running Changes, he took the role of a California rocker. You may have smelled the pot smoke if you walked past him, as the Fleetwood Mac and Tom Petty records played on vinyl in the background.

Now he is embracing his newest musical transition with a highway robber of Dylan's closet. One may think that the look changes are a bit forced, especially now that you can pinpoint who his influence is this time. He's wearing a lot of turquoise and plaids these days. Throw in some eight hundred dollar designer jeans that capture an old-school look and a thousand dollar boots to his attire and a hat to cover his long mopey hair, you have some odd 21st century reincarnation of a cowboy. The strangest part of this entire look is that he's from Miami, Florida. The only way you could be less cowboy is if you were from the Northeast or West Coast of the Untied States.

Today was no different than the last few months in his life. Even if it was near 60 degrees in Los Angeles, he was wearing layers of clothes with olive-colored baggy pants and a pair of boots. Of course, he went no where these days without his hat on, today being no exception. Thankfully, unlike two weeks ago when he was taken aback by the unpleasant surprise of seeing Gia Rose in the same office, this time there were no surprises. He was quickly able to walk in to his appointment with Dr. Hudson.

After brief "hello's" and "how are you's" were made and passed on, they both took a seat in the opposite direction from one another. Ryan sat on the couch, taking off his hat and tossing it to his side, already knowing that the questions were coming his way. "Well Ryan, today you look a bit more relaxed than last time we talked," she stated noticing that the air in the room was much less hostile than last time when he stormed out of her office. He lowered his head slightly to chuckle as he nodded his head in agreement. "I have reason to feel relaxed. This morning Nadia gave me an exceptional blowjob. You can't ask for a better start to your day than waking up with your penis in a woman's mouth. How about you doc? Do you ever engage in some morning glory with your husband?"

She bites her bottom lip preventing herself from laughing. She has had enough therapy sessions with Ryan to know that not one session went by when he didn't make such blunt, sexual statements. After clearing her throat, she began to speak again, "So Nadia joined you on this cross-country trip?" He leaned back on the couch and raised his foot over his opposite knee. "Yeah, yeah she did. We went to a birthday party for one of her bandmates this past Friday and even before then I told her I wanted her to come to LA with me." She adjusted her position on the chair she sat in, looking over at him. "I'm guessing she doesn't know your in therapy at this moment, right?" He shook his head, "No, she doesn't. But I didn't entirely lie to her this time. This morning had to go in and do some voice-overs that were missing for my film. I didn't lie to her. I just didn't tell her the entire truth."

Right at the moment she was about to part her lips to speak, he spoke up again. "Could we please not get into the whole... telling her that I go to therapy thing? You're not going to change my mind, and we already know how it ended last time I was here. If we can just please bypass that today, I'd appreciate it." His brown eyes pleaded along as he looked over at her. "Not a problem, Ryan. We'll talk about it again when you're ready. But you're gonna have to let her know sooner or later. And at some point I would like her to be sitting next to you in that same couch." Ryan let out a sarcastic laugh, "Why is that? Is your fee for couple's therapy more expensive?" She shook her head, recrossing her legs. "No, rather because I think it would improve the relationship you two have if you're honest with her and you let her inside your brain a bit."

Ryan sighed shaking his foot along. "You don't understand, do you? Nadia had a nervous fucking breakdown a handful of years ago. She was diagnosed as being bi-polar and to this date she still needs to take medication. I can't even begin to explain to you how much I hate the worthless fuck of a man who put her through that. She does not need to be brought in to also have to deal with my problems. Now that she's at the height of her success and she has a clear mind, she doesn't deserve that." She realized that she shouldn't continue to poke him with the same matter anymore, at least for the rest of this session. "Fair enough," she said, forming a small smirk at the corner of her lips.

Ryan uncrossed his legs and leaned forward on the couch, "Hmm... could I ask you a question? I promise this isn't sexual at all. I know you don't like your clientele asking you questions." She looked at him half intrigued at what he could have to ask her. "You're free to ask me. Whether I answer it or not is up in the air." Ryan gave a simple nod, "Fine," he began, "You have a rather new client called Gia or Giovanni Rose, correct?" She looked up, a bit confused as to why he was asking the question. "You better than most know that I'm not allowed to speak for my other patients." Ryan grinned as he rubbed his cheek, "Please Hudson, don't feed me any bullshit. I was here two weeks ago when she came in through those doors for her first session with you. I bet you didn't know that Gia and I actually know each other. Don't worry, she's not an ex. We've never had sex. I've never explored her wonderland with my hands nor my penis. I actually know Gia because she's one of the owners on the record label I'm signed to. Funny, right?"

She's taken a bit aback that he actually knows one of her other clients. He's often mentioned the fact that he choose her over other therapists because she was outside from the whole Hollywood range of therapists that had a client list of A-list celebrities, whom were more than happy to give them a prescription cocktail. Ryan enjoyed the privacy he got here. "No need to say anything. I spoke with your secretary, very lovely girl by the way, she's a fan. A UCLA grad that's not Asian, nicely done. But she was kind enough to look up and tell me that she is on file. Hold on, I haven't even gotten to the good part. Sadly, it doesn't involve the cute little brunette outside giving me a tug before I came in."

He paused and cleared his throat before continuing, "It involves your new client, Miss Rose, basically attacking me with questions in the waiting room. Almost asking me as many questions as you do. I don't know if she's come to you because her husband is a has-been rockstar who cheats on her and is an alcoholic. I don't know her that well. But next time she's here, could you maybe touch upon the topic of minding her own fucking business," he said with a chuckle. "Seriously, I'm not a rapper so I don't like calling women this, but this bitch did not stop. She kept asking me on and on why I was here. Why the fuck can't people just mind their own business in this goddamn city? Did this generation become so shitty that people have to TMZ stuff to the point that it loses all its meaning?"

"I'm done now. We could go back to me. Still your only A-list client." She blinks a few times and shakes her head, not entirely sure where to go from there. This was the point where she wished she was one of those therapists who took notes and not just relied on her memory. "You and Nadia are living together in New York now, right? How has that process been?" Ryan lowered his vision, staring off into nothing in specific. "Do you recall when I told you that I just do things with a certain intention and even if the person doesn't take it the way I wanted it to be I just go with it? That's what happened and it's the reason why Nadia now lives with me in New York City." She rested her chin on her hand, "How so?" Ryan looked back up at her. "Well on Christmas I gave a key to my apartment in New York, and my intention was for just her to have a key. If she ever was in New York and I wasn't, she was more than welcome to stay there. If we were both in the city but I was out, she was able to roam around and have a key to come back to my place. But I guess she took it as, 'let's become a live-in couple.'"

She leans forward in her chair, "But yet, you still didn't tell her how you felt?" Ryan ran a hand through his hair, putting his hat back on. "I couldn't. She looked so happy then. I wasn't gonna take that moment of happiness from her. Even if it made me feel bad that I'm never gonna be able to give her what she wants." She studied his face a bit longer. "What is it that you think she wants?" He sighed looking down at the floor. "What every woman wants sooner or later; to plan their wedding, have kids, start a family, buy a big house with a backyard. You wanna know the only thing from that list that I can give her? The big house. Hell, a mansion if she wants."

Ryan sighed again loudly, this time leaning back and looking up at the ceiling. "I hate this feeling that I have inside," he began to say in a low voice. "I hate the fact that I've come to the realization that I might have become dependent of Nadia. That I love her so much that I can't see a time when I'm not with her." She intervened to ask, "Ryan, why is that a bad thing?" he sighed, believing that she couldn't understand him either. "Because that's not who I am. As soon as I left my mom's house when I was nineteen years old I taught myself from that point on that everyone I met was just going to pass through my life and I was going to be okay with that. That it was all a never-ending circle in people's life until we died. It always made letting people go a little easier." He brought his head back down, his eyes had watered up a bit. He quickly cleared any trace of them ever being so, as he hated to show any vulnerability, that was outside of his music. "Is there any scenario in your head where your better off without her?" he thought about it for a minute, deciding to answer it in a joking matter. "Yes, but in such scenario I'm happily married to Kate Beckinsale. Unless she's a client of yours and you can convince her to leave her husband for me, then there isn't a better scenario," he said letting out a laugh.

"Ryan, why don't you tell her all of this? She's your girlfriend, the woman you love. Don't you think she deserves to know how you feel?" He leaned forward looking straight at her and told her, "No," he simply stated. "Nadia and I are currently in the best run our relationship has ever had. For over a month now we've seen each other everyday, we woke up next to each other everyday. That's never happened to us before. And for the next two months, that will continue to happen. Next month we're going to Maui for Valentine's Day. In March, we're going to Cabo for two weeks. I have at least another two solid months to spend happy as fuck with this wonderful woman. To have a lot more sex with her."

He took a quick pause before continuing, "I don't have to assess anything in my relationship with her until she has to go on that Asia and Australian tour in April. Until then, I don't have to worry about anything." He took a glance at his watch, "Looks like my session is up." She looked up at him telling him, "You know, you're just prolonging the storm, right?" He looked over at her and nodded his head. "I know. You also can't tell a woman you're dating that you wanna keep it casual after you fucked her anally. I know, the world's not fair. A bunch of women are Coyle-ing back and forth. That's a term I created for women who turn into lesbians for a moment then go back to seeing men. What happen to the days when a lesbian was just a lesbian? I hate bisexual women, they confuse men. Stop being on the fence about it, it's not that hard. You either love dick or you love vagina. You can't love both."

A laugh escapes off her lips at Ryan's comments. "Ah, I finally saw those white pearls. It's gonna be a good two months, Hudson. I'm telling you, honey. I'll try to come in again before I head to Maui and sip mojitos while I enjoy seeing Nadia in a sexy bikini." He says his goodbye to her, saying as he steps out of the office, "Do remember, doc. Blowjobs keep a man happy."