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Offline erich hess  
#21 Posted : 16 March 2012 07:16:53(UTC)
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before last night's show with a couple of fans. think they noticed i was a wee bit tipsy? i dunno why the blonde looks so pissed. maybe the tension between israel and iran had her down?...oh,and if you are wondering what we were all looking at. there were two dogs doing it in the parking lot.


spent most of the day playing with karoliena....not like that,you fucking horn dogs. music playing. i think karoliena and i both wish i had the kinda stamina for the other meaning of that sentence. playing all day is probably a normal thing for most of my musical sisteren and brethren. truth be told,i am terribly unmusical. you ask me to play a G,and i'll give you a blank stare. but karoliena and i have that near telepathic link that band members need to have. we started playing around 2pm,at 4:10 we had the hotel room packed with people. i think we played the entire gene vincent ,meteors, and eddie cochran catalog. it was a blast and a half.

i tried getting my revenge on johnny for whipping my ass at poker the other night. i am a yahtzee master,i mean like mister myiagi level shit...johnny still yahtzeed my ass left and right. last night he invited a reggae sorta band in on the fun. they were great,and nice guys to boot. taking a page from that playbook,karoliena has invited sarah tart and bettie antonov to come out with us and do some phil spectres tunes.this will be the us debut of karoliena's band. they've done pretty good in wales and romania,hopefully that continues tonight.

with bettie and sarah,the plymouth's quarters are going to be pretty cramped.our sexy female load is now at 3.we're going to packed in there like sausages. but i guess these are the sort of problems you want to have.
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Offline Squeege  
#22 Posted : 16 March 2012 09:57:24(UTC)
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I'm too lazy at the moment to write down the set list for the second night of fun in Pittsburgh. I'm feeling rather anxious to get out of Pennsylvania really. The one thing I'm looking forward too in Maryland is the St. Patrick's Day show. I'm Irish so I expect I'll be drinking an exhaustible amount of green beer and eating Sheperd's Pie until my stomach explodes. I suck at Yahtzee so I don't know how I pulled out a win over Hess last night. The lights on the interstate and small towns are flashing by at a quick rate now. Some times that's the easiest way for me to get too sleep at night. You just count the pairs of headlights until you fall asleep. The Allentown show was ok but a bit mediocre at best but Erich had it covered some how. We were all pretty beat from Pittsburgh and could've done the fans there a bit better. So I apologize we were all just really tired. Everybody there seemed to have a good time so maybe it's just us that were feeling it and not the crowd. I've enjoyed this run so far with all my friends and Erich and his people. I have a feeling we'll be doing this again here pretty soon. I'm going to play a few tunes on the guitar and see if anybody wants to join in. We're stopping at a gas station currently and I'm gonna have somebody go in to pick me up a chocolate milk and one of those prewrapped chocolate chip cookies that are really good. I'd go out and get it myself. But I'm currently naked. Then I'm gonna hit the sack, count a few headlights, and then go off to sleep.
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Offline erich hess  
#23 Posted : 17 March 2012 01:54:43(UTC)
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bettie vamping it up at used car dealer. we really wanted to add that falcon to our convoy,but they were reallllly crazy on the price.


what?! johnny's eating cookies while naked????? i want cookies too! rock and roll is all about nude sweet intake.

last night's show was great. karoliena's band,the phil spectres,did 4 songs as our opening act. they were all wearing matching outfits like the one bettie is wearing in the above pic, they looked like a greaser cat's wettest dream. i always loved bettie's vocals with the star chiefs. its a damn shame that band never had the chance they deserved. the spectres have a sound best described as the crystals as interpreted by the creepshow. far poppier than the war bride,but not in a bad way. the crowd received them well and wanted more.

setlist for the spectres

chapel of love (dixie cups cover)
its my party (lesley gore cover).
johnny angel (shelly fabares cover).
chick habit ( april march cover).
stiletto.

the war bride show was- shit! i'll finish this later. bettie and karoliena are doing jager shots. booze always triumphs over writing tour diaries nobody wants to read anyway.


ooc: id finish this,but i am leaving work early,but still wanted an entry here.
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Offline Squeege  
#24 Posted : 19 March 2012 14:35:55(UTC)
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Here's the set lists for night 2 in the burgh and the amazing show we had in Baltimore for St. Pat's. Lots of Guinness and shots of Jameson's was had.

Night 2 In Pittsburgh

TMK Set (We switched it up just this one night):

Water's Edge
Maria
It's Not Dark Yet (Dylan Cover)
Play A Train Song
Wagon Wheel
Blood In My Eyes
Ink, Blood, And Whiskey
Waffle House Blues
Where Is My Mind? (Pixies Cover)
Back Alleys and Bloodstains
Improv Jam
Keep On Rockin' In The Free World (Neil Young Cover)

Encore Set:

Layla (Clapton Cover)
The Road Goes On Forever (Robert Earl Keen Cover)
Ophelia (The Band Cover w/ Jack McDougal)

Southland Set

Burn The Honeysuckle
Fine Leather Truck (first two songs feature my good friend "Joe Bob" on vocals)
False Hearted Lover Blues
A Train Robbery (these two songs featured my Grandad on vocals and mandolin)
The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down (Band Cover)
Shallow Creek Jam (new song)
John Henry
All That Glitters
The Ballad
Subterranean Homesick Blues (Dylan Cover)
Born On The Bayou (CCR Cover)
Growin' Trade (Feat. Jack McDougal)

Encore Set:

I'm So Lonsome I Could Cry (Hank Sr. Cover)
Goin' To The Country (Canned Heat Cover)
Kingfish (Randy Newman Cover feat. Jack McDougal)

We really pulled out all the stops for Pittsburgh and put one hell of a show on. Played some great tunes and I can't think I've heard a crowd cheer that loud in a long time. I can't say enough of how much I enjoy, admire, and cherish the fact that I shared the stage that night with my Grandad who commanded the stage masterfully and I think got a bigger response than both AWB along with both my bands combined. He tore the house down when we brought the big jazz ensemble for Kingfish. After all that I made sure I shared a joint with him and Erich since I swore they'd meet each other. It was the only time I ever saw Hess show a bit of class really. Not saying he ain't a classy guy just not class by normal standards. He kept calling him "Mister" and "Sir" but as awesome as my Grandpa Jack is he kept insisting Erich call him Jack and there was no need for formalities. We smoked a bit and then jammed together for long hours after the show had finished. There were more hands of poker played, the passing of marijuana, drinking of moonshine whiskey, and the sharing of stories and jokes. The old man managed to keep me rivited as usual. There's still that kid in me that shuts up when he speaks. You just listen and learn then hope you can understand. Even if he was half senile you'd have some grain of wisdom in that dementia. I promised I'd let him type up his own entry after the St. Pat's show.

St. Patrick's Day Bash:

Southland Set:

Whiskey In The Jar
Guns For The IRA
As I Roved Out
Johnny, I Hardly Knew Ya
Come Out Ye Black and Tan
Johnny On The MTA
If I Ever Leave This World Alive (Flogging Molly Cover)
Pretty Peggy-O
The Irish Rover
Going Out In Style (Dropkick Murphys Cover)

Encore Set:

The Pub With No Beer
Irish Drinking Song
What's Left of The Flag (Flogging Molly Cover)

TMK Set:

Fisherman's Blues (Waterboys Cover)
Finnegan's Wake
Whiskey You're The Devil
IRA Anthem
The Night Pat Murphy Died
Carrickfergus
Back Home In Derry
Wild Colonial Boy
The Fields of Athen Rye
Kiss My Irish Ass (Keltic Kowboys Cover)

Encore Set:

Amazing Grace
Irish National Anthem
Dirty Old Town (Feat. Shane MacGowan of The Pogues)

I used my connections to get Shane MacGowan from The Pogues to play with us this night in Baltimore. He made this show kick ass ten times more. Sadly I couldn't Flogging Molly to join us due to them being on tour still. But having the frontman for the fucking Pogues made my day. I drank so much I could hardly believe I got through the night. Mr. MacGowan is a fucking pro at it. He was already three sheets to the wind when he got on stage but belted that song out and the whole place about damn near exploded. I played every Irish folk song I could think of that night and put on another great show in my honest opinion. I was wrecked that morning but it was all worth it.

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Offline erich hess  
#25 Posted : 20 March 2012 02:22:23(UTC)
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erich: i dont show it very often,but buried under all the liquor and bong resin,there beats the heart of a southern gentleman.

karoliena: that is oddly true. erich once challenged a man to a duel for "swearing in front of his lady".

erich: what can i say? i think if more people defended their honor with duels,people would be nicer to each other.


march 19th,6 am.
the st patrick's day weekend is firmly behind us. that's right,we made a weekend out of it. st patrick telling all the snakes in ireland to fuck off hasnt affected anyone i am directly related to since about 1845. but i am still much obliged to him and his effort. this was my most expensive st paddys day to date,i picked up EVERYONE'S bartab.i learned two things:

1. i am glad we play smaller clubs.
2. the mcdougal and hess clans,plus their fans,could drink a distillery dry.

you honestly dont want to know how much i shelled out, but every penny was worth it. i probably could've bought an italian sports car for what st patrick's day cost me....a pretty shoddy italian sports car,but still.

the shows were a blast. especially our closing number," barroom hero" by the murphys. we had so many people on stage with us,one couldnt tell where the crowd ended and the stage began. you can tell you are among good folks when they go nuts at the words," face down in the gutter,wont admit defeat........". we also did "kiss me,i'm shitfaced" and "the dirty glass". we had an abundance of female vocals,it'd been silly to leave that song out. but "barroom hero" is my favorite. what red blooded male doesnt want to drink and fight when they hear that song?

i hurt in many places,i look like hell,i feel like hell,and i havent bathed since friday. all in all, i'd say st patrick's weekend 2012 was a resounding success.when we get to arlington,i am getting a bath.i smell of stale beer and i feel....slimy. this plymouth is getting pretty ripe,pretty quick.
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Offline erich hess  
#26 Posted : 21 March 2012 05:57:44(UTC)
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thanks for taking this photo,bettie. could it look any dirtier? - karoliena

sure. i could crop off the bottom and it make it look like you're topless- bettie


heya,it's your old pal,karoliena. i'm taking over the journal for today. it's erich's turn to drive and he's been dodging it all tour because "someone needs to write the tour journal". well i am someone,am i not? besides,i am the one in the unflattering corndog pic. who knows what caption erich would have stuck under THAT pic.

first off,arlington SUCKED. the phil spectres opened the show with a mini set.it was early,so the crowd was more like 3 people standing in an empty floor. i could care less about there being a handful of people there,my ego isnt fed by crowd sizes. but having to hear "show us your tits" through 3 songs is ludicrous. one or two times a show is to be expected,but ten times....in fifteen minutes? it just served to piss me off. i took the high road,and didnt put a mic stand through their teeth. arent you proud of me?

the war bride set was a disaster. my bass sorta snaped in half. i dunno what happened to it.the neck snapped off ...taking a good portion of the body with it the bridge went flying across the venue and broke the mirror at the bar. i dont know what happened.usually upright basses are pretty sturdy. i guess it was from years of me sitting on it? boy,if that doesnt make me feel like a fat ass! my bass was a 1953 kay,so i am going to say age factored into it ? i am going with that reason.its less.....embarrassing.
so you know what i get to do today ? bass shopping. god, i hate music stores.they are sooooo snobby. trust me,being a profesional musician doesnt make clerks any nicer to you. so all you out there thinking "when i make it big, i am going to show these cunts at sam ash a thing or two." forget it. it doesnt happen.

we finished the set with using an electric bass.we sounded terrible. luckily i dont the crowd noticed,the club's sound system was so bad. loud doesnt equal good. people looked like they were having fun,so i guess we did our job.

arlington's final insult to us was someone nailed our car while it was parked (and took off naturally),so we are sans a rear bumper,and gaffer tape is holding our trunk lid closed....we have some major bad juju issues. see you guys in falls church. is that an actual place? i thought it was just made up for fallout 3.
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Offline erich hess  
#27 Posted : 22 March 2012 02:31:52(UTC)
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new bass! well,new to me. thanks ,tim!


karoliena again. this tour diary writing thing is fun! i should totally do it more. everyone wants more karoliena,right? first up,a big thanks goes out to tim espinosa for saving this damsel from distress at a music store. he even delivered the bass to our hotel,so we didnt lose valuable travel time!

the falls church show was everything that arlington wasnt. the club's sound system was great,and their light guy? a master of his craft. there are few things worse than peforming in a place lit like a seedy strip club,or a rave circa 1992. its one of those small things that make such a difference.

the phil spectres set:
1.earth angel (penguins cover)
2. chick habit (april march cover)
3.baby,you can drive my hearsen
4. kiss me.
5. love me like there is no tomorrow( nat king cole cover).



atomic war bride set
1.fishnets and polka dots.
2. if you were a zombie,i'd let you eat my brain.
3.a mansion made of kraft singles on the moon.
4. jimmy buffet is fucking your mom while you're at my show....on your bed.
5.the day earwax and toenail clippings took over the world.
6. the 69 tortures of dr d.ildo.
7. supercharged shed of baphomet.
8.vacation in sunny pleasant valley.
9.chainsaw boogie (meteors cover)
10.tom dooley
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Offline erich hess  
#28 Posted : 23 March 2012 06:30:51(UTC)
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you are now back in the loving hands of me.erich,that is. you know what awkward is? its finding sarah and rob fucking in your car! on one hand i was relieved,i feel the man is waaay too close to his mother. but on the other hand,i only thought his upsettingly short shorts left little to the imagination....somethings cannot be unseen. to his credit,i dont know how his shorts hold....all that in.

bettie and i took the bus to dc ( after seeing what i saw,i didnt feel man enough to drive my own car.) and touristed it up in our nation's capital. karoliena had pressing harlots business and had to leave us to our own devices. no,this isnt a " dear penthouse. i was all alone with my girlfriend's best friend ,when all of a sudden...." stories. bettie is on the list of forbidden frolicking partners. but if she wasnt.....well,that is another story for another time.

dc was fun, i've never been there before. i had to resist the urge to defecate on the steps of all those official buildings. i didnt have to try too hard though,i had an empty tummy due to living off liquor and pork skins for the past few days. i did whiz in a shrub in front of a burger king though. so i kinda fought the power...right? the burger king is an unelected and out dated figurehead of an uneeded monarchy. so fuck off and quit sending your cheeseburger peasants out to be eaten by the masses,so called king of burgers. we,the 99.9%,will stand for it no longer.

after seeing the sights,and taking a fair number of vulgar,forced perspective pics of us and the washington monument,we spent the day drinking ourselves silly with washington's movers and shakers...or possibly just a bunch of old guys in suits. they loved bettie,espcially when she claimed to be a daughter of jailed banker, vladimir antonov. we got free drinks,and use of a company car.(what company,i have no idea). i guess white collar crooks like to take care of their own...or they wanted to fuck bettie...or both.in any case,we had an e class mercedes to our selves. pity it wasnt an amg. cheap bastards.

bettie drove,since the car was left in her care. she racked up thousands in those red light camera tickets. we took turns practicing drifting in an old department store parking lot. we only hit the curb 23 times,so i think we are well on our way to becoming adept at it. gilles pannizzi hasnt got shit on us! we then purchased fifty pounds of fish to leave in the trunk.
we abandoned the poor german machine in a school parking lot and hoofed it back to our falls church hotel.

i love off days. see you folks tonight!
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Offline Squeege  
#29 Posted : 23 March 2012 17:55:11(UTC)
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OOC: Slacked off on the rp. But here I am again!
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Offline Squeege  
#30 Posted : 23 March 2012 18:28:30(UTC)
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This latest entry would be from Jack McDougal. Taking over this one entry for his grandson.


I keep telling myself that in my old age I need to write more and get out my thoughts before I end up kicking the bucket. This is another trip that I've enjoyed though I haven't played much on this one. A part of me does enjoy being a feature player for a few tunes. Because I'm always surprised at the amount of respect and applause I get whenever I take the stage from my seat back in the green room. Though I enjoy sitting back and just watching the music because I recognize my grandson and his fellow musicians as pretty damn talented. I've enjoyed my time getting to know all of them while sharing some whiskey and smoke. It's nice getting to know people when they've smoked and drank a little. They let their guard down more I've noticed. But young Erich Hess and his beautiful companion Karolelina are both fine people. He's got a nice cool about him and can bang out a good rockabilly tune. That girl is also one of the finer one's that I've been able to lay eyes on in some time. She's also a real sweetheart and Erich and his clan have been very good to me. Erich has smoked more of my supply than I can account for on this trip but I enjoyed sharing it with him. His girl has let a funny old man play grab ass with her and not slap me for it. Hell I'm old anyway I'm lucky I can still piss with it. So it's the little things like that that make me happy.

Forget what you hear. They're good people, you can take that from me and I mean it. You don't get to 88 without being some kinda good judge of character you know? I don't mind the road too much. In my old age I guess I've missed it. Meeting new people and running into some crowds that still give this old man some respect means a lot to me as well. It's something I can hang my hat on proudly.

Here's my advice to most of you young one's out there. If there's more than one in the fight and they ain't on your side it's better to walk away, if you have a pistol you better know how to use it because it can get you out of many jams, never stay for breakfast unless she offers to cook it, never get drugs from a dealer always your friends it's usually way better, and always look a man in the eye when you shake hands.

Well good night every one. Believe it's time for me to head to bed and hand this thing back over to somebody that knows use it.
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thanks 1 user thanked Squeege for this useful post.
erich hess on 24/03/2012(UTC)
Offline erich hess  
#31 Posted : 24 March 2012 07:51:57(UTC)
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i half expected to wake to police looking for bettie and i.but its not like police seriously investigate joy riding. besides,we technically had permission to use the car.we were never told not to destroy it.

sadly this tour is hurtling towards its finale.i will miss our after show drinking,smoking,and card playing. is become an expected ritual,much like washing one's hands after taking a shit. i will treasure the memories of these card games for the rest of my days. there is something almost...tribal about drinking with a man of jack's age. my own grandfather died before i became a man.so this is the first time i've had this pleasure. swapping stories about the road and life in general...it really is an unmatched experience. though i dont know if i'd tell my own grandfather the story about the time i did coke with two girls who later robbed me at gun point. though,being a korean war vet,i bet he had some saucy stories of his own. ..but mr jack seemed to get a kick out of the story. karoliena loves mr jack too,and he seems fond of her.i think its because karoliena treats him like a man. how many people see an older gent,and see him just as a harmless,almost childlike being? how fucking emasculating would that be? but she does let him get away with more than she lets most people get by with. pinching her butt very likely could involve a bloody stump where your finger used to be.

ooc :time snuck up on me. gotta cut this short.
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#32 Posted : 26 March 2012 07:03:54(UTC)
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It's always a welcome sight seeing the sign that says "Welcome to West Virginia! Wild and Wonderful" coming home. These last few days have been a blur to me. I've decided to the rest of the show unplugged and play acoustically. I enjoy the sound and artistry a bit more behind the playing of an acoustic guitar anyway. Besides there's less setting up to do and get right into the music. Seeing that Morgantown is the home of WVU it's always a favorite place to play for me. There's so many good looking college girls around too that you don't know where to look first. I've enjoyed all my experiences on this tour and plan to pick up Hess and his crew again for the next one. I've had a hell of a blast and honestly don't wish it was over yet. But I'm itching to get back into the studio and begin recording again on this next album. It's going to be different from the last but I plan to do good things with it. I'll be playing the last show of tour here very soon. Then I think I'll hang out with the people around here for a bit and have a few drinks. It's good to be home.
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Offline erich hess  
#33 Posted : 27 March 2012 01:10:36(UTC)
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well,its over.i am back home on the duke of winchester. sitting in my tiki room... i must be an alcoholic,since i am drinking alone. nothing is more depressing than the end of a tour. especially since whenever the war bride is off the road,the harlots go on the road. which means karoliena is gone too....maybe i should start a side project to kill my spare time. a man can only fill his time with so much booze,morally loose women, and drugs before it becomes sad.

the outlaw tour was the highlight of my career.it was exactly what i had this music thing pictured to be when i first picked up a guitar,looked in the mirror,and imitated chuck berry. that is why i closed our final set with "school.days". chuck is the fucking man,if you disagree.... are you even into rock and roll?! johnny and company are truly unsung heroes of this industry,they more balls than a grocery store 25 cent machine. i've been a longtime fan,and am now a future longtime friend. any fan of hasil adkins,is good people. that is advice you can take to the bank.
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