Hey, you guys. Last night while in bed, I suddenly remembered about this website, and thought I'd visit back and just see how things are going around here. I've been pretty busy lately, but have some spare time now that it's spring break at my school. I just felt like checking in, and ask how people were doing, as well as share what's been going on in my life (if anybody cares).
I must say that I have probably been the happiest I had ever been in my life last summer (I know, kinda a long time ago). I connected with my friends very closely, and fell in love with baseball to the fullest level. I'm serious about pursuing a career in baseball, whether it's as a player or as some sort of analysts or manager/coach. Of course it's going to be a lot of hard work, but I think I could do it if I start working really hard my last few years of high school, and then ultimately college.
I've also became much more outgoing, and I feel more emotionally considerate. I quit dating though, so I guess I'm celibate. Part of the reason is because I don't think I'm ready to take on a relationship with anyone, even at a teenage level. I fell into a bit of a rut (for the lack of a better word) about a year ago for a girl. Felt I really fell in love with her, which effected my studying and other activities. Plus, I think I'm a scumbag, because I never liked just one girl ever. I've always had eyes on about a dozen or so young ladies at one moment, so I don't think I'm very mature to date yet because I'm very fickle. I think I made a great decision because I've become more openly social with some people that I might not have associated much with before, as well as grown closer to my closest buds.
I've also gotten really into classical music, particularly Impressionist Era music. I'm taking a class at my school called AP Music Theory (AP courses are like college-level courses, for those of you who live outside the US, basically they're our version of IB courses. Americans need their own versions of things to keep us happy.) All we do in that class is talk about theater, art, music, tv shows, movies, and political happenings, a lot of which are historic. It's just a fun class. I'm also taking AP European History, and found the two classes relate very smoothly. I've always loved history, and find the class to be at the same intellectual level as my theory class.
I discovered a lot about myself lately. I have excepted that the world isn't what I want it to be, and some things just can't be changed. I used to be very brash and unreasonable. I've grown to be more respectful, and worried more about myself than some things that don't relate to me one bit. I stopped acting out on things that I feel might make me look smart or impressive, because truthfully nobody cares. Plus, I probably made things worse, and I don't really know what others think of me. In essence, I've turned much more genuine, and I can except failure much more easily now, even though I have the strongest passion towards success I've ever had.
It probably doesn't matter. I feel like I've written an essay. I might as well share more things. I've acknowledged some other aspects about myself that I didn't before. I will say that, I've kind of came out. I admit that I am bisexual. It's something that I'm proud to finally accept. I've been battling this for several years, but then I just came to the conclusion that there isn't any reason why I shouldn't battle it. Because I have so many great friends who don't really care about what orientation you are. We have all sorts of people at my school, all of different ethnicity, origin, and orientation. Hell, I can name 5 gay that I consider good friends on the spot. Why should I care what some ignorant F student criminals have to say about what I prefer. I think I began to realize what loving is about a year ago, back with that girl situation. But I had a tough time relating those feelings towards another male. I thought it wasn't for me, and that it couldn't happen. Lately, I've realized that it doesn't have to feel so foreign. Personally, I still prefer women over men, but I'm not blind to decline it. If I ever do encounter a man whom I have strong feelings towards, I don't think I will have an issue with it, because life is lived only once, and happiness is our main goal.
I'm curious how all of you are doing. Feel free to comment below.
