OOC: The first thing I though of was the baby, I was like I know Cody did not just......SO INTENSE AHHHHHHHHHH....this is getting oh so good lol :)
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OOC: That was sad :/ I hate you ;)

Chapter Thirty-Seven: Take it Down

Losing Robert Kain was an unexplainable painful experience. As you go through life, I've found you have times like these far too often. But, the river of life is ever flowing and we all must enter the sea eventually. Still, the funeral was not going to be an easy follow-up to an already horrible time. Stephanie was there for me though, despite everything that she was doing in her life at the time with the other guy, or with her music...she was with me. That meant something to me, and in the end it helped our healing process immensely. Robert would have been proud of that, I think.

His family, what was left of them, were to make the arrangements. I hadn't seen many members of his family for years, and seeing them in this state was terrible. I remember his mother meeting me at my home to speak with me. She was taking care of Baron until the legal paperwork could be completed. She was skeptical of my abilities as a parent and as a person, for she knew me as a teenager and through my life as the drug taking rock star. But, that long conversation I had with her was very telling, and I tried to be as honest and open as possible to prove to that woman that I was capable of taking her grandson as my own. I hold that memory very close, and it's also very private. I've never spoken to anyone about what was said, and she took it to her grave.

The funeral was to be four days after Robert's death. They were to have a double funeral so that they could be buried together. That was the best decision they could have made, and I was skeptical whether or not they would, since the two families hadn't gotten along well nor did they agree over the marriage. So, when they came together like that, I truly believe that Robert and Allison looked down and smiled. It was just the right thing to do. I was asked to make a speech, and so I did. I tried my best to put my full heart into it and say farewell to Robbie as best as I could. But it was hard to write anything deep when I knew I would be sharing it with everyone. That was a problem I had never faced before. I guess Robert was just too close. So, I wrote a good speech, but I put my deep feelings and opinions on another page.

The funeral was lovely. The family all shared their favorite memories of Robert and Allison, and then it was my turn.

"Hello. It's nice to meet some of you, and to see others again after all of these years. My name is John...me and Robert were friends for a long time. Still are, I believe. We had a band together, and while in that band we did some crazy things. I was always a bit crazier than Robert was though...or a lot crazier actually...but he was always there when I was in those dark places to help me out into the light. There was a time when the band was experiencing a really rough patch and...well we were all living in an alley. We had sort of squandered our money away, and we were...broke. But Robbie was wise beyond his years, and he met us all in that alley to get us back on our feet. He took me back to my parents, and it was through his efforts that I finally got back on track. Since then, I've gotten lost again a few times...but Robert was still always there. In the back of my mind and in my heart. As I continue this journey without him being here physically, I know he is still there. In the back of my mind, and in my heart. Always."

After I finished, I took my other paper and placed it in his casket with him. So painstakingly familiar was the occasion that I had to leave before breaking down. I'm not ashamed to tell you all that on that day, I wept. Thank God for the happier times that have come since then.

Chapter Thirty-Nine: Five Years

I'm going to spend this chapter paraphrasing about five years of my life. I'm doing this because after I adopted Baron, that became my life. I'm very proud of that period of time, but I doubt that it would make for an exciting read for you fine people. Instead, I will briefly explain to you the events that followed after the adoption and up until Barons sixth birthday. I choose his sixth birthday as my return to depth point, because that is when my music career came back to life...so to speak.

Adopting Baron brought new things to my life, as I have already explained. The labors of raising a child are very energy taxing. But I often found Stephanie Fierce to be able and willing in helping me become a parent. This not only helped me become a better parent to Baron whom I was raising along, but also to my lovely daughter Helle...whom I was reconnecting with. She was around three years old now, and I had to get my life and fatherhood back on track with her. I could never be the father I should have been, because the chance of a happily married family had already been disposed of. I ruined that, but I could still be around when she needed me and keep in touch the right way. Music was utterly abandoned now, and my family was my focus.

She had such a personality, even at that young age. I truly believe that she got it from her mother. Stephanie and Helle are very much alike and unbelievably individual. When Helle makes her mind up on anything, then her word is law. So, getting to know her provided me with an extremely entertaining task. She would often tell me what to do, and how to behave rather than the other way around. If I cursed or hollered to loudly while indoors, Helle would read me my rights. That was fun, and often it still is.

Baron and Helle were slow to take to each other. I think at the time, Baron was so young that he didn't really understand what was going on. While Helle, was old enough to become jealous of the fact that this strange baby was taking up so much of my time. I asked Stephanie her opinion on what I should do once, and she responded as I might have expected,

"Sounds like you have a problem then, John."

I discovered a lot about myself in that span of five years. I found out that I'm not really a good cook, that I can't keep a house clean on my own, and that my kids were just as crazy as I am.

Finally, when Helle turned eight, I decided I knew the perfect way to spend a day as a family; we would all go the zoo. Sounds like an ingenious idea, right? Not with our family. You see, Helle is afraid of snakes and lions, while Baron is extremely interested in getting to know snakes and lions. So when I turned away from the snow-cone stand to find that Helle was running around screaming with a snake around her neck and Baron laughing louder than any four year old should be able too, I wasn't exactly surprised.

I don't think I've ever returned to that zoo. But, many things often turned out that way during that time. Also during that time, I found myself slowly getting closer to my pen and notepad. Slowly but surely, I began to write again, and play again, and sing again. I still had no intentions of returning to the stage, after all; I couldn't. But I also didn't intend to step into a studio again, but things never go as you plan.

That, brings us to Barons sixth birthday party.

Edited by user 02 April 2012 11:00:57(UTC)  | Reason: Not specified

OOC: Me like! :)

OOC: So, I feel really bad about leaving this alone for so long. But I think the story got away from me a bit there towards the end. I need some time to regroup my thoughts and bring it back together. I hope when I do that someone is still interested in seeing how John's life wraps up. :)