Growing up in America, interracial and multi-cultural relationships, whether friendly or romantic, are everywhere. All of my friends are different. I have Asian friends, Jewish friends, German friends, Black friends, Gay friends, all the kinds you can imagine and we co-exist greatly. But there always seems to be an issue for some when it comes to dating.

I got thinking more about this lately. I've been dating an Asian girl for nearly a month now. She's beautiful, smart, funny, very silly and fun to be around. Very loving and caring. We met last year in one of our classes. Instantly she felt a connection with me, but it took me a while to catch on. She's a grade older than I am, so she is graduating at the end of the year. I have two more years :(. I don't mind that she's Asian, likewise she doesn't care that I'm from Europe. And it shouldn't matter, but it does. One of my closest friends, who is Asian, isn't public about it but I can tell he doesn't like the fact that I'm dating her. I think it's a bit hypocritical since we talk about girls in our school all the time, and most girls we mention are white. And I don't care if he finds white girls attractive because it doesn't matter to me.

My mother knows that my girlfriend is Asian, and she's excited because of it. It sounds silly, but it's true. I'm at the age where I'm almost independent. I'll be in college/university soon. Asians are perceived as very smart, and the women are looked upon as obedient to their lovers. That's probably why my mom is happy, because she was never this excited over any other girls I dated in the past.

My girlfriend's parents however, aren't as hot about me dating her. I was at their house last friday and joined them for dinner. The mother gave me a very fake smile, spoke to me in a condescending tone. The father was very unmoved by me, and seemed almost disgusted by me. I thought that maybe I made a bad impression, but later she told me that her parents aren't too hot on the fact that I'm not Asian. Which is okay, because I'm dating her, not her family.

Aside from the negative, there are a lot of positive stereotypes about certain races that people find attractive. My question that I want to ask you is: Do you feel race is important to choosing a partner?

It's true that we live in the 21st century. We live in a very free world and everyone is welcome to join in at any time. But realistically, everyone has a bias. Should a bias on race and ethnicity really determine who we can love? If there's a person who is too different than you are, should you pursue them? Or should you find someone closer to you? If there are certain stereotypes in a specific race that you like, should you search out people from that ethnic group because you believe you have a higher chance of finding your perfect lover?

I'm not trying to promote any form of racism here, nor am I interested in seeing any racist rant comments posted in this thread. Let's try and keep this mature. So what do you think? Is race a legitimate factor in choosing your partner(s)?

Lastly, no. I didn't start up this thread because I have second thoughts about my girlfriend. It would be ridiculous for me to break up with her over something stupid.

We usually tend to relate better with people from our culture and ethnicity, that's probably why most people choose partners from their own cycle. Despite that, gloalization made it possible for different cultures to get closer, and so interracial (despite the fact I hate the term 'race' when it comes to differ two human beings) relationships are more common, and biologically speaking, they're better for the human race in general (genetic variability ftw).
That said, I have nothing against what consenting adults do together, it doesn't matter their gender, ethnicity, etc. And to be honest I'm a white girl that has a huge thing for african-american guys.

i'll date anyone who will hold still long enough.i have no type. though the only girl i ever dated that wasnt a white devil,was an asian girl. the words "batshit insane" come to mind,and it wasnt the lovemaking.being on the business end of a steak knife really made me reevaluate our relationship.

I think if you are attracted to someone, then you are attracted to them.. However different people are attracted to different things. Some people only like Black women, some people only like white women, some people only like latina's. I think its a bit silly trying to say you are only attracted to once type of person because your racist or because of some sub concious worry about being accepted. Personally i am not attracted to Black Women, sorry but its true. I find Asian, Indian, Latino, White all very sexy, just not Black. Does this mean i am racist? i hope not because i don't think i am, i think of myself as a very liberal open-minded individual, i just don't fancy Black women (i don't even get the big deal about Beyonce'). Does this mean however that if i had a child i would be upset if they went out with a black individual? no i hope not.

what im trying to say is, you are attracted to what you value most in a partner, and in most cases that will fit a racial stereotype. It does not make you a racist however.

with the Asian family looking down on you, its simply because they hold a different set of cultural values to you and your gf. I had the same thing with a Polish girlfriend of all things, and while i got on with the mother, the father refused to talk to me because i wasn't Polish.... All the same race, just from different cultures.

Not sure where this fits into the debate, but I find girls born to parents of two different ethnicities/races/backgrounds, whatever, tend to be more attractive to me than "purebreeds" for lack of a better word.

Vancouver has a massive Asian population, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Vietnamese, you name it, so naturally there's a lot of mixed-race people here too.

I guess I can relate to the fact that race is like picking between daisies and roses. Where daisies are viewed as more playful, roses as more serious and intimate. White people might be looked upon from a different angle than Blacks or Asians and so on. It's just preference. I get that. But should it be such a strong reason for selecting a partner? It seems like a pretty big reason in today's society, and in the past especially. There are stupid, sophisticated, artsy, sporty, and beautiful people in every race, but we might cast them away solely because they aren't our favorite race (I think favorite might be a strong word).

Like for instance, this summer I went to a huge festival in my city, called SummerFest (it was at one might the world's largest music festival, might still even be). I went there with two of my friends, and met up with a girl I know well and her Black friend. Her friend thought I was cool, and sent me a friend request on facebook almost immediately. We chatted casually, and eventually asked me for my number. I knew from the start where this was headed, and although she was a great girl, in the back of my head I kept that she is Black and that it isn't a race that I am attracted to romantically. I think I broke her heart too, because she later told me she broke up with her girlfriend in an effort to get me.

I thought before that love doesn't really matter on your ethnicity, but I noticed some of my people have said some nearly-obscene things about women of certain races they wouldn't date without realizing, even some of them who are of that race. Maybe I just have bad friends or what lol, but to me, it sounds like the whole "you can date whoever want" idea isn't quite that easy. If you go out with someone of a certain race, it just seems like you won't consider other races because you're not attracted to them based on stereotypes and appearances. Maybe I'm just over-thinking things.

I don't think that makes someone racist. It's no different than if you find pale people versus tan people attractive or not. Sexual attraction is hardly a factor. ;)