Tony: You need to hook me up. I like to bug Sam by ingesting copious amounts of drugs and trying to act like i actually have my shit together. His face is priceless. He looks like somebody just told him Nichole had a boyfriend. Fucking hilarious.
Rob: That's mean, man.
Tony: I'm an asshole.
Jeff: I thought I was the asshole?
Tony: You're the old asshole. I'm the new one. I'm fresher.

Sam: Hey, for tomorrow nights show at the Phoenix, you wanna show up and do a sort of deathabilly jam type thing? I'm thinking a short set of our songs and then you can come up and we can play Psychobilly Freakout for half an hour at half speed. Get some naked ladies to run around the stage and hula dance.
Rob: Normally we don't jam, but I bring me some laudanum and i'm sure i'll want to jam all night.

Castor: Aw, how fun. I might show up just to hear you guys.

Castor: Well, then it's happening.

Sam: The more the merrier! The more the METAL-er, I should say.

(OOC: I guess seeing as tonight is the first date of the tour, from here on out this is going to be an actual RP of the pre-show festivities and performance and after-show festivities...I have no fucking clue what i'm doing. But it will be interesting.)

ooc:last minute cobbled together shows? sounds good to me.

erich and karoliena show up back stage. both have cigarette holders with joints in one hand,a martini in the other. they are very animated and involved in a conversation.

erich:that is utter bullshit,there is no way that can be done. at least not without removing so much material,the coconut would lose all structural integrity!

karoliena:your ass sucks wind! i've seen it done.

erich: by who?!


karoliena: duh,the professor on gilligan's island!

erich: oh come off it. that was a fluke at best! no peer reviewed publication ever, EVER,mind you.... proved that the professor built that radio!

karoliena:oh,so i suppose he blew a couple of natives for an old radio from ww2. then to save face,*laughs* pun intended, slapped some fucking coconuts on it.only to hold up some illusion that he,himself built it?!

erich:exactly! i've got several pie charts to prove it!

karoliena: empty pie tins colored in with sharpie,does not a pie chart make!

erich:yeah....well....THE PROFESSOR DIDNT BUILD THAT FUCKING RADIO!!!

karoliena:hi acts of hate folks.

erich: no,but they wish they were! here,have some....various bits and bobs. from our kitchen to yours. *hands them a tacky houndstooth suit case.* there are two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high powered blotter acid, a salt shaker half full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers... and also a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of Budweiser, a pint of raw ether and two dozen amyls in there.

karoliena:i swear i've heard that somewhere before.....oh! *she reaches in her purse and pulls out several eyedropper type bottles." here,laudanum. careful kiddies,it can kill you.

erich:it was good enough for charles baudelaire.and he didnt die....well.he did,but not because he wanted to.

karoliena takes something from a small box and offers it to erich. he also gobbles it down.karoliena starts humming the gilligan's island theme.

erich:yes yes,sample farmer erich's wares. the first one's free kids... *laughs
*this is going to be a show for the ages.it's going to be like the barnam and bailey version of purgatory.

karoliena:or just hell...depending on how you all can handle your drugs. we know erich cant.

erich:yes i can! granted,there was the time at total annihilation where i tought for sure the entire audience was like that kid in that akira movie and i was going to be swallowed up by a blob thingie.

karoliena:erica kissed nichole!? wow,i didnt think she'd have the balls to do such a thing. erica is usually....timid? about such things.

erich: buck up sam. i'm sure nothing will come of erica and nichole. erica already has a girlfriend. just ask her out when the show is over.

karoliena:yeah sam.it will just be night upon night of televised mind blowing sex.it wont mean anything.

karoliena: *makes a face and makes clawing motion at sam* meow!

erich: *noticing their troubles and laughing* you want me to play it? i've played that song more times than you've had hot dinners. *picks up his guitar and also cant play it worth a damn.* gentlemen,we are fucked...i suggest "tom dooley".it's our go to song for when we arent in a condition to play. it's easy,and sounds great. *plays the basic version of the song for them* see? do it for 5 minutes...done!


karoliena:*rolls her eyes* damn light weights,i swear.

erich: ah yes! about erica and i.. it's very complicated and would take a scientist to explain.short answer is... we are married and love each other greatly,but usually are in the company of others. indulgence instead of abstinence and all that. still,there are certain people on the "forbidden list",which would be considered cheating.


karoliena:it's a big pit of decadence for sure.

Acts of Hate waved at Castor, noting his strange fashion sense. Sam penned a final line to his song and grinned

Sam: Done. Perfect.
Tony: Hey guys, we're supposed to go on in like 15 minutes, want to join us onstage? We only ask that you try your hardest to fuck us up, get in our way alot, and try to incite the crowd into violence.
Rob: We go hard or we don't go at all.

Jeff begins plucking a bassline to accompany "Tom Dooley."

Jeff: Alright, we'll do a shortened set, and spend the rest of the night jamming on Tom Dooley until we stink the place out.
Sam: I need to play my new song!
Tony: Ugh I can already tell it's going to be horrible.

Edited by user 11 October 2012 12:20:45(UTC)  | Reason: Not specified

The band stood up and began to walk towards the wings. Unfortunately, on the way, they get lost.

Sam: *yelling* HELLO TORONTO! .....TORONTO!
Neil: Where the fuck is the stage?
Tony: Oh god...not another Spinal Tap situation.

They open a door to what they hope is the stage but only open it to a parking lot of wino's and hipsters who looked like wino's. They close it quickly.

Sam: ....well where the fuck is the stage?