Tony SammartinoWell, it's only January of the new year and Canadian metal giants Acts of Hate are readying to begin work on some new material. So, in true alternative press fashion, we decided to get a hold of Acts of Hate guitarist Tony Sammartino. Why? To ask him what's in store for the next album? Nope. To ask him serious questions about music theory? Nope. To ask him what his point of view is on the mainstream music industry? Nope. To ask him 20 completely unrelated questions, which he obligingly answered over the phone. So for anybody who wants to know Tony's answers to some completely irrelevant questions: read on!
What's the worst thing you've ever eaten on the road?Probably spoiled poutine. On tour we just buy as much as possible and what doesn't get eaten just sits around, rotting. I've bitten into moldy french fries slathered in hardened gravy more times than I wish to recall.
What's the first thing you do in the morning?Chloe Pastis.
What's the last thing you do at night?Chloe Pastis.
How much would we have to pay you to punch a panda bear in the face?You'd probably have to pay me not to do it.
What's more metal; A codpiece made from Dio's bones, or a turtleneck knitted from Ozzy's hair?
Dio's definitely the cooler dude, but codpieces are gay. Turtleneck wins by default.
Worst show you've ever played?Once, Erich brought us a bunch of laudanum and Jeff ended up passed out backstage. We were so fucked up we went on without him. It was...odd.
Best show you've ever played?The same show. It was the best and the worst.
Celebrity crush?My wife, Chloe, *laughs*
That doesn't count.Fine, fine. Hmm...okay, let me put it this way: if Teresa Campbell were a pair of hipster glasses, I'd let her sit on my face all day.
Is Chloe going to be mad you said that?Probably not. She's cool. That's why I married her.
Musician/Artists you hate?I don't think I can hate people I haven't met. The Weekend seems pretty annoying to me. I mean, I hate boy bands and pop music. I respect them as people though. Like, if I met them I'm sure they'd be nice enough. I just merely disagree with most things they stand for. It's like...my parents.
Most homoerotic thing you've done on tour?Uh, we all basically walk around the bus naked. I mean, we've got hot girlfriends, we know we're straight, but we're a wee bit too comfortable around each other's schlongs.
Who's the bitch of the band?Jeff. Everyone hate's Jeff.
Why?He's Jeff.
Fair enough. Most rockstar thing you've ever done?We got arrested in Iceland for trying to break into Bjork's house. It was pretty brutal. I think we're not allowed in Iceland anymore so if we have any fans there, sorry.
If all the band members fought to the death, who would win?I'd like to say me, but it'd probably be Rob. We all like Rob, so none of us would want to kill him. Or Neil, because he's so unpredictable.
What does your perfect day consist of?Sex. Ramen. Sex. Guitar. Sex. Cannibal Corpse. Sex. Sleep.
Describe your band in one word.Sweaty.
Describe yourself in one word.Sweaty.
Describe Canada in one word.Sweaty.
That doesn't make any sense.Doesn't have to. I'm Canadian.
I think that's all the time we have. We probably went over twenty questions. Any last words?Uh...never apologize for being right. And don't be a bitch!
Thanks, tony.