Sam: aw, shucks. Well, I guess I am a bit thirsty...you sure you aren't fattening me up for some bizarre sperm-harvesting ritual? *narrows eyes*

Erica: *nervously looks around,and kicks a book under the rug: "sperm harvesting and you.a primer"* um no....what would give you that idea?

Nina: Im with Nichole. Show of hands,who thinks Erica and Natalya's baby is going to crazy?

Sam: I actually might have to steal that one from you. Those are some brutal lyrics, babe.

Nichole,

I recently met and started going out with the super hot guy I met online. Overall, I think he's a total catch. Polite. Sexy. Good job. The one problem is that he has really bad teeth. Deal breaker?

Do I want a second date?

Love,

V****

Dear Whoever Is Married To Steve Bucemi,

Fucked up teeth are a totally workable issue. They are WAY easier to fix than any of the following: Baldness, fatness, hairiness, blindness, or a shrunken dick-ed-ness. Basically there are, like, a million different options that don't include braces. EVERYONE in Detroit has had something done to their grill. Consult a dentist and pick the corrective measure that works best for your guy and his teeth situation.

The hard part is telling him. The key is to be quick and direct. I'd recommend something along the lines of, "I like you, but... your teeth scare me. Let's fix it."

In the end, you really have nothing to lose. If he doesn't want to address this problem, move on or find a cosmetic dentist who will do it while your new man is sleeping.

Keep me posted.

You're welcome,

Nichole

Once I found Erica Hess' phone on a bathroom floor; that was fun. Once I found a vintage Kenzo scarf in the back of a cab; that was chic. Once I even found a small child under a table at The Beatrice Inn; that was frightening, especially when I realized that it wasn't a small child at all, but just Dustyn Williams.

My point is, life surprises you with random gifts when you're least expecting them. Today a gift came in the form of an email from my German friend, Venika. She's the only person I know who is more proficient in online shopping than myself. She's a complete psycho, and a huge speed addict, but her Ann Demeulemeester collection is literally unparalleled. I woke up to a message fom Venika, linking me to this site called Farfetch.com. I was annoyed because I hate links, in general, but I clicked on it anyways because Venika is a very loyal friend.

Basically what these Farfetch people do is pick the chicest product from the chicest little stores around the world, then they put everything in chic little sections for your consideration. This way you can shop all day/night/next day without having to leave your bed. Par example, I'm certainly not mad at this Phillip Lim draped neck tank from Muleh...



Wait, what's Muleh? Or these Chloe printed round toe ballerina slippers from Paris, France...



Oh, and oops, I ordered four of these Missoni chevron sun hats from Milano Marittma, Italy...



It's like spending the day shopping with the plane bloat and arm cramps. Needless to say, I'm into this.

You're welcome.

Nichole

Edited by user 12 April 2013 09:44:28(UTC)  | Reason: Not specified

Dustyn: I remember that night at The Beatrice Inn. That's when I used to inject 'speedballs' into my arm.....dark times.

erica:ooh,thanks.i love a good hat. good point about the phone.but you know what they say,about the camera and adding 5 pounds.hopefully those 5 pounds concentrated on my chest.

Hen: Do I like reading Nichole's blog? Yes I do. Does she read mine? Though it's mostly ramblings of a drug induced past along with my opinions on music and shit that probably nobody gives a flying fuck about.

Hen: Awww. I'm rather touched Ms. Nicole from my heart right down to my pickled liver and everything else.

erica:um,ew. you better,um...get on the ball.