Ooc: this is my favorite ai picture. It suits the Erica character so well.
Dear diary,it's Hitomi! I hope nobody else is writing in you,I don't like being cheated on. Life is going so well. Naty is cooking little Takara well. We both have been taking such better care of ourselves. No drinking,no more hard drugs. We still smoke a bit of weed though. It helps with her nauseous feelings and my....well,I just like it. I bought us a super expensive house,Japan's real estate is crazy! It really is a mini castle and will be great for our family. Naty has agreed to us living in Japan and sending Takara to the same school I went to. I really worry naty is giving up too much of herself in all this. I don't want her to hate me for living in Japan,our daughter speaking Japanese,and basically being raised Japanese. Other than natys genes... What is she giving Takara? I think she is sacrificing too much to make up for my not being genetically related to Takara. Trust me,I feel as attached to her as I did with ....with Nicholas. Ugh,It still hurts after all this time...sometimes I feel guilty for being attached so to takara....and I still feel I failed..I can't say anymore on this subject. Whenever I speak about it,it still feels like it happened yesterday.
I've been doing cartoon voice overs lately. It's super fun...if I wasnt doing it because I had to. Buying the house nearly cleaned me out. I told naty I could easily afford it.. But it'll be a few more tours and a few more voice acting jobs before I'm back in the black. Erich is basically paying for everything at the moment. I doubt Ada knows. Hopefully she doesn't mind or take it to mean more than what it is. Erich is the only one I could trust to not look down on me. Nina would call me stupid for spending that kind of money on a house for naty. I know deep down nina expects Natalya only wants to bleed me dry. She's mentioned the fact naty doesn't work several times. I'm sorry ,but why is that her business?! I couldn't ask Chloe as she's the youngest and supposedly least responsible of the harlots. I'm sure she would give me all the money I need,but I couldn't ask her. Erich will keep my secret and not judge me. Under all his drunken madness,he really is a good man. I love that Ada knows this and is unafraid to expose it to the world.
Felt kind of weird as of late. The new vile hour album.....it hits too close to home to be comfortable with. It really is great. I mean,like album of the decade good. Nichole is the artist id love to be.i think she will really go down as one of the most important artists of our time. Sorry castor,you
Know everyone forgets the drummer. THOSE songs on the album have made me think a lot about the ballad of Nichole and I. I can't help but be a little hurt by that one song. Nobody likes hearing About themselves in a negative light. Though I admit,I love the way the song is written. Especially since its a more eloquent way of saying everything I thought about Nichole during that time...aside from the lousy lay part. ....oh my god, AM I ?! Naty doesn't know any better,since I am her first girl. Fuck,now I am paranoid. It's almost soothing to know Nichole felt used and preyed upon.not that I am evil. It's just I felt the same way several times during that time period. Maybe I was horrid to her and didnt even realize it. The only time I made a conscious effort was when I threw Sam under the bus. I still feel shitty for doing that. I can't do purpose evil...mine might be more subtle and I'm totally unaware of it,kind of evil. She is right though,,as soon as someone cried,it was over. I don't recall either of us making fun of the other for crying. Nichole never hurt me as much as when she brought up my plastic surgery. I can still remember Sliding down that wall and crying my eyes out. Nichole could've easily kept at me. But she did not. Without those times,I doubt we would be so close today.no matter what,I know Nichole has my back,and I hope she knows I have hers. I love her. Not like that! I can't even masturbate while thinking of her.. ....I've tried. You wanna know who I do it to? .....edilih Greene! I know,weird huh? Oh well,a little fantasy is healthy!