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 To my fans, critics, and anyone else concerned about my life Hello. This, as you can probably tell, is my first ever open letter. I usually don't do this but I feel I should solely address my fans about my year and my music.
It's an understatement to say that in this industry, it's easy to be forgotten. It's easy to abandon an artist if they don't live up to your demands anymore and I don't fault anyone if they chose to do that. As a fan first before an artist, I know I get frustrated when that new album or single never came out fast enough for me. I feel I owe an explanation and I have one. It is with a heavy mind that I announce I've scrapped my entire album. That's right, I've done away with it. The album is no more and I'm working on rebuilding it. It wasn't right and it would have been rushed and a cliche so therefore, I'm taking time to work on it some more.
In the meantime, my project with Mudshovel shall commence giving my listeners a little bit of my voice to carry with them until my own personal works are released. You all know how an artist can be a perfectionist. A true artist would never rush to give a product unless they were satisfied and they knew it was either their best or some of their best work. I don't need to release in order to please my critics or to keep my 'relevancy' because I've already accomplished so much. I've more than proven myself and now I'm engaged in a far diverse project than I'm used to.
For the past months, I've been in a rehabilitation facility which I will honestly say helped me in certain aspects. I've taken on a new light, same persona. I won't lie and say it was easy or that I'm 100% cured because I know it's a lie. I'm never going to be cured but I can at least control myself and my urges, allowing myself to carry on with my career. I am the same but different. I've found a smile in my heart and now I can wear it without guilt. I was treated for alcohol abuse and other problems that I don't wish to reveal or discuss at this time. During this period, I wrote over dozens of songs and I felt like it could be an album but what good would it have been? We've all heard these songs. People go into rehab and come back out with songs of how sorrowful and lonely they feel. I didn't want to bore you with those stories so they will not be included on my album at all. As far as when I'll be working on it or releasing it, I don't know. I can't say. I've been fighting with myself to start over. I could have been lazy and just put together songs and called it an album but I'd be selling you all and myself short.
After touring with Blood Of Wecz, I was able to find a way to channel my anger that I had in a peaceful way. I won't lie, I'm still the same. I'm still the bitch people love to hate and I'm always going to be that way. I didn't see 'the light' nor do I wish to. Quite frankly, god can shove it. I'm not interested in being the next front page story on a blog where I influenced tons of teen girls to come to terms with themselves. If that wasn't obvious years ago, it should be now. I'm not a role model nor do I wish to be associated with one. This generation wants music and I can deliver that. I won't offer my personal beliefs because, let's be honest, nobody cares. No one cares if I eat spaghetti on sunday's and watch CSI before bedtime. It's nothing to do with my music and I'm staying that way.
It's also why interviews and red carpets are not on the top of my to-do list. I feel uncomfortable sharing with the world my personal life. Unless you're in it, you don't need to know about me personally. I'm an artist, not a celebrity. There's a huge difference. With that, I want to thank all the people who have wished me well on my journey and I won't forget the kind words. If you didn't well who cares? I probably won't remember you anyway. I'm not promising a solo project this year but I will say when it's time, you'll know.
As for Chaos Records closing down, it's sad and a little disheartening but that means I'm a free agent now. After some thought, labels seems to be far fetched right now but I'm sure something will come around. I won't beg for a deal because to be very honest, I wouldn't mind being independent. Good luck to my once label mates and maybe we'll bump into each other again.
I genuinely appreciate all of my fans and the support. It means a lot and I'm flattered I mean so much. And to my fellow Rock and Metal artists, thank the heavens you've been keeping it alive.
I'll see you soon,
Lily |
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