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The Bitch: it took quit a while wriitng this album, we wrote a song called "got punched in the dick", but in the end it wasn't good enough for the album, and it's a really good song, so it must be a very strong album! The album was actually gonna be "Cockwork Orange", but we forgot all about it! Which sucks, since it's a pretty good title!
The lyrics:
Castration
Verse 1
Went to school and got good grades
graduated went to college
got a mathetmatics P.h.d
and now I sit in with bunch of knowledge
Work as a teacher
teaching those kids
selling my soul on ebay
looking for the highest bid
Chorus
Every day is the same
A rock thrown on my brain
I've learned to deal with
all the consequences
I put my horse off the saddle
when I jump through fences
I slowly come to my senses
and it feels just like
Castration!
Verse 2
I learned some about love
Ended up in a marriage
got a son and a daughter
from something that looked like miscarriage
i'm spared for porn
or any other perversity
live the life of any man
it's our 15th anniversary
Bridge
As a little boy
this is what I was afraid of
I'll no longer be a toy
and I might get laid off
Of course I do
Verse 1
You asked me if I'm hungry
and if I'd like to share a lunch
we ordererd a burger
and a rasperry lemon punch
After it was over
we got some dessert too
Chorus
You asked me if I like it
I said of course I do
Verse 2
You asked me if I'd like to
go out for a while
and there's nothing in the world
I like as much as your smile
and if I have to be with someone
I'd say I'd be with you
Chorus
You asked me if I loved you
I said of course i do
I have roll in my soul
and rock in my shoe
Chorus
You asked me if I still like rock n roll
I said of course I do
Car commercial
Verse 1
We got a car to sell you
cause we know how well you
like those comfortable seat
it's shiny and new
comes in black and blue
it's got 4 wheels and sure is neat
Chorus
This is a car commercial
yeah yeah yeah
Verse 2
We got a nice song
that's gonna tag you along
We're gonna convince you to try it
we have sexy chicks¨
and we have dirty tricks
we're gonna make you buy it
Bridge
Do you wanna be cool?
Live your life as a star?
Are you classy and extravagant?
Well you oughta buy this car!
The girl can help it
Verse 1
She looks like a total idiot
big boobs and low IQ
but she really fooled ya
she's way smarter than you
You got your brains upside down
looking for attention
but the girl don't care
she don't need your condescention
Chorus
She acts like she's your angel
you're little baby doll
she brings you beer and omelet
she's there every time you call
but some day you will realise
just what you've become
you're a total moron
but the girl is not that dumb
cause the girl can help it!
Verse 2
She dyed her hair blonde
was in a toothpaste commercial
she was gonna star in a sitcom
but she was late for rehersal
you think she's retarded
sometimes you wanna shoot her
the only job she's worthy at
is waitress down at Hooters
yeah yeah yeah
but the girrl ah ah ah can heeeeelp it!
I don't wanna be sedated
Verse 1
I go to the dentist
I ain't no fucking wimp
though my balls are sweaty
and my cock is limp
they asked me if I wanted
some god damn novacaine
rather than being numb
I'd rather feel that pain
Chorus
Cause man not eating for hours
and drinking from a straw I hate it
so the next time I get my fillings
I don't wanna be sedated
Verse 2
I feel like I'm on the moon
in a place out of gravity
I need to go and
check my cavities
my gums are chewed
like chewing gum
it's gonna hurt
I feel so dumb
Bridge
Don't sedate me
please don't hate me
I don't wanna be sedated!
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Joan
Verse 1
You dressed like a dude
had god on your side
was hung down in France
and the people cried
you were called a heritic
a bastard and a whore
Noah had an Arc too
but I like you more
Chorus
Tonight, all right, I don't wanna be alone
Cause I I I wanna be with Joan
Verse 2
You protested the state
you made singin your job
have a voice like an angel
and you went out with Bob
With your silver dagger
I'm kind of scared of you
singing old folk songs
and you went to Woodstock too
Verse 3
You love rock n roll
crimson and clover
I listen to your records
you run away over and over
you don't know what you've got
till it's gone with frustration
and you don't care much
about your bad reputation
She likes the Beatles
Verse 1
She said "you know how hard it can be"
when I said "You know it ain't easy"
I said please please Mr. Postman
she said Please please me
I am the walrus
doesn't make much sense
I said I need help!
she said you get a little help
from your friends!
Chorus
Cause she likes the Beatles
she's on a yellow submarine
I saw her standing there
she was just seventeen
I had a hard day's night without her
telling myself to let it be
she said she likes the Beatles
but she doesn't like me
Verse 2
All you need is love
but I need you
and if I needed someone
I guess that'd be true
there are two of us
but not a second time
when I see her
sure I feel fine
Bridge
She could drive my car
and my yellow submarine
if I won her love
every body would be green
If you won't see me
I know what it's like to be dead
happiness is a warm gun
but I'll cry instead
I said I needed help
and you get by with help from your friends
she said I shouuld've known better
but I'll get her in the end
The icinc pretzel
Verse 1
it's just the tip of the iceberg
the start of a new trend
a day for a daydream
a night with no end
I'm in love with nobody
nobody's in love with me
and all I have left
is this feeling of misery
Chorus
The feeling I feel
isn't very special
it's not obscene and not unreal
it's just the icing on the pretzel
Verse 2
I got kinda bummed out
when the pistols broke up
I sang yesterday
and then I toked up
my new girlfriend left me
started dating some muscled guy
I'm left with bunch of question
what, where, I'm puzzled, WHY???????
Bridge
Why on earth am I even here?
Why do I even care?
Why don't I have underwear?
Stars coming down(lyrics by Gory I Lids)
Verse 1
Roses started blooming
tinmes took their toll
water started frozing
my mind swallowed me whole
the darkness filled the daytime
I made my mark
I became my own god
and said "let there be dark"
Chorus
ah ah
It's the stars coming down
the stars coming down
they move in different directions
I feel like I am dead
the stars are coming down
they're gonna hit my head
Verse 2
The future it is bleak
the pictures are fading
when will things get better
I'm tired of waiting
the moon frowns at me
the sun has gone away
another era of darkess
seems to be here to stay
Rider's block
Verse 1
We played a show
down in Mexico
with some of our friends
we asked for coke
and other dope
and no brown M&ms
but they didn't like it
Chorus
They gave us rider's block
we can't get a rider there again
next time we have a ride
we'll just get beer and cider
but maybe we're smarter then
Verse 2
We played a gig
in Winnepeg
everyone was shocked
the venue and bookers
wouldn't give us hookers
another rider was blocked
Verse 3
Did a matinee
in the UK
they were ill at ease
we got steak on the house
and they could give us cows
but not with cow disease
RIDER's BLOCK!
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