The Guide To Fangirling: WTF Are They Saying?

Gia is seated in a chair, with a couple of cue cards in her hand as she pretends to be reading them then looks up startled. "Oh, hello there. I hope everyone's having a fantastic time tonight. I know I am." She smiles and then clears her throat. "I wanted to just take a moment and talk to you guys a little. I noticed there are a lot of fans out there repping their different fandoms, woo woo." She raises her hands up and then back down. "Yeah, I'm hip too. Anyway, there's the fans who are crazily obsessed with some of these artists and during the course of this show, there have been many, many tweets from them. To anyone, that's normal right?"

In the background, you can hear the audience laughing at her jokes.

She pulls out her cell phone. "Well have you seen these tweets? I mean can you really read them? You se, fangirls, and guys, are not like the rest of us. No, no. They are far beyond us and are able to see things that we can't and do things we can't. Or probably shouldn't because it's illegal. Like stalking." She pauses and stares at the screen before continuing on. "But you know me, I'm always on top of things, dirty pun, and I like to know what's going on. So I took the liberty of deciphering some of these code words, I call them, from fangirls around the world.

Some of these words you've probably heard and thought, 'What the holy hell?' and then some of you guys, you know what's going down. I decided to help you all tonight with my very own translation/directory to fangirl slang."

She smiles again and then looks at her card. "The first word, we've seen and everyone seems to be saying it, SLAY/SLAYAGE. I know there's no dragon tamers out there so it can be a bit confusing but to 'slay' someone is to just be so amazing and kill it. I mean you're just top notch, going to town on everyone.

Used in a sentence: Gia's dresses tonight are totally slaying. Aw thank you." She smirks. "I did not write that, I promise."

She turns over the next card. "Okay the next one, is a little creepy when you hear it at first but it's stangely cute in a creepy way. FETUS. Apparently this referts to the baby version of oneself. Baby pictures, when you looked younger, all of that. I don't know why people don't say 'younger me' but what the hell?

Used in a sentence: Oh my god, look at fetus me. I was so adorbz. There you have it."

She looks down at another card. "Oh, this has got to be my favorite. This one, you have to use such extreme happiness and energy or it doesn't matter. Okay? I CAN'T EVEN. It's not a complete sentence or even a finished one but you use this when you're just out of words, flabbergasted. You're just so happy and out of your mind you don't function.

Used in a sentence: OH MY GOD HAVE YOU HEARD BEYONCE'S NEW SINGLE? THAT SHIT IS SO AMAZING, I CAN'T EVEN! Say it just like that, use a loud voice when you're indoors or it's not fangirly enough." She shakes her head. "Nope."

"Oh here's one that I totally did not get until I learned what it meant. SHIP. It's basically when you want someone in a relationship with someone. Sexual, most likely because fangirls and sexual fantasies go hand in hand.

Used in a sentence: I so ship Mark Talley with Layla Raine, and they shall be called Mayla. Yes, shipping requires you to combine their names somehow and create an alternate one for them, just because.

Alright, so if you hear any of these words tonight, SLAY, FETUS, I CAN'T EVEN, or SHIP, now you know what the hell is going on. Also, don't ever mess with a fangirl's idol. They will fuck you up." The audience laughs.

"Goodnight everyone!" She waves as the audience applauds and cheers.