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The Chaos Awards VIII Presents Mean Tweets with Scott Rose-Hilton
The stage at the Chaos Awards goes dark after Scott and Gia leave the stage, and the screen at the back comes to life, playing a quick burst of music, before the camera comes into focus to show Scott Rose-Hilton sitting there looking into the camera with his eyes narrowed. He looks a lot more casual than at the actual awards, in a black shirt and black jacket and a pair of jeans, with his hair tied back and his beard looking a little less trimmed and shaped than it did on the night. He smiles a little sinister smile and sits forward in his seat, the camera panning out to show a wall brick wall behind him with the blue and white paint peeling off. He smiles again and rubs his hands together.
"Hello Chaos Awards VIII. I hope by now you are all having a wonderful fantastic night on our behalf. I really do. But allow me for one moment to add a different little element to your evening. One which might not make you smile as widely as all that champagne and all the trophies on offer this glorious night. We all use Twitter, in the celebrity world, and it's cool huh? It lets us connect directly with our fans and vice versa. Now we all know how this allows us the chance to seem more human and talk directly to people in ways we never could before, but also we all know the sort of bile that gets spewed on there towards the rich and famous. But do you ever take the time to actually look at what people are saying to you? No?" he smiles into the camera. "Well my wife and I did, and we found that the fans can be a little more nasty than you might ever have known. So please, allow me to share. Sit back, and let me read you some of Twitter's very finest mean tweets! These are all very real, and very nasty.
PrincessPurp: If I were to shave @ScottOffThePress (just the beard), he would totally pass for Serenity Scott's mom! They look exactly the same....but he's old. So very very fucking old.
DustyPossum: What do you think is bigger? @TishaJackson's forehead, @StephanieFierce's baggy arse or Scott Rose-Hilton's ego? All three are a waste of space tbh. "Ouch!"
RocketPowerReggie: Vile Hour look like the special education's circus freak show. Seriously, someone should really put them out of their misery and give them a gun with two bullets.
RVSEX69:my god,mandy williams SUCKS!! she sounds like a cat getting circumcised by a cheese grater. she also looks like someone drew buggy eyes on my nutsack.
OneLessProblem: I cannot stand Dustyn Blue. One minute he's talking like a 3 year old and the next making sexual passes on twitter. I feel bad for Dallas. I bet he's secretly turning less gay with each moment they spend together.
AvrilLevine: James Urie looks like he definitely cries after sex. Or he would if his wife didn't leave him. dick.
VileMinute: I think I saw Ariana Harley at the park the other day....but it might have been just a regular duck.
Destiny'sVile: I'd rather let Hannibal Lecter suck my dick than ever listen to that fucking Elyar Black song ever again!
RatatouillesCheese: Eilidh and Oscar Ward together is so painful. Nobody should take advantage of the mentally ill like that.
HotTopic666: didnt kai rollins play music at one time?
tripsytortise: i hope hayden fumigated katie coyle's crotch. who hasnt been there? i lost my frisbee there once in 2010.
bigharando: who watched erich and ada's sex tape? ok,better question,who lost a bet and had to watch it?
GoodE3Shoes: Is it just me, or does Allison Cooper just always look like someone surprised her with anal sex?
KissItCauseItsGone: Ugh, why the fuck does nobody ever listen to me!? I might as well be a Sabrina Franc record.
TwerkingTinkerbell: PURE just look like tramps that have been kicked through Topman. Like ew!
FxckMePapi: Can someone please tell Isaac Lovelock that he's not as good as he thinks he is? What a total twatbag.
RileysLeftFoot: What do people even see in Izzy? Have you seen the size of that face? It's like a satellite dish. Stand next to her and you get free WiFi and catch-up TV.
NastyKitten: Unsure if it's SYNCO or a bunch of walking cunts. Same difference really.
231123CountCunt: If Jerry Holmes was any more thirsty, they would be renaming him the fucking Sahara Desert!
NoImNotHappy: The Stat Nerds are like hospital viruses. They're everywhere but nobody ever sees them and if you get one inside you people give you nothing but sympathy.
DrewPeacock: I feel sorry for Isabel and Ryan Ross Hernandez. She has to wonder if every time she sees him it'll be his last day alive, and he must be nervous for when Operation Yewtree are going to smash his front door in.....I would like smash Isabel's back door in.
PenIsland: I swear, every fucking time I see Jennifer Armstrong smile it reminds me of getting my teeth x-rayed at the dentist. Bitch, close your fucking mouth.
DaxtersLobe: Right....is Honor Wynter gonna get those tits out soon or is she gonna just fuck off? Please pick one.
HelloKittyHelloKitty: I just saw a man threatening to jump off a bridge. Quick Rum and Coke, tell him you retired to cheer him up!
AnnasIzzyB: I just heard that latest Nadia Berry song on the radio. Is there a volume below mute?
DBag1865: Karoliena looks like she definitely ties Cassie up at home and does terrible things to her butthole. Terrible terrible things.
PeaceOutWithMe: So I just found out Glamazon ISN'T a drag act! Who knew?
PreponPorn: If you arrange the letters in Michelle Hamilton's name, you get a game way more interesting than listening to her fucking music. Shut up. Cunt.
ForTheHoes: I'm just gonna say it....Victoria Black has a glint in her eye that says she just loves a cock in her asshole.
AndersoonStreet: Am I the only one who only looks forward to new music coming out just so they can see how Queen Alexis will make a fool of herself?
Heisenborg: OMG I just saw Katie Merjos in the street. Shame this isn't 2010, I might have actually been excited...
DickTrickle: People keep asking me why I hate Scott from Weekend like I need to have a reason. Just fuck off.
After reading all the tweets out for a few minutes, Scott smiles and sits back in his seat. He shakes his head and looks at his phone before putting it back in his pocket. "So....as you can see, the world of social media perhaps doesn't love us all as much as we might have thought. Thanks for listening, and please, enjoy the rest of your night!" Scott winks and the camera starts to fade to black as the applause in the arena starts to ring out for the skit. |
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