Let me tell you about The Colander Game. The Colander Game is a form of dialogue humor invited by Nichole Shade at some point during her growth into the master irony scribe that she is today. The Colander Game is very simple. It involves a single "player," faking a lack of knowledge on a seemingly well-known subject, to the disbelief of a "target." The "target" will proceed to frustratingly try and explain the existence of the subject while the "player" continues to feign ignorance in increasingly complex ways (including, but not limited to: the continued fakery of ignorance on even broader subjects, and the roping in of additional players into the game). The game continues until the "target" realizes that the "player" is faked, and then calls them out on it. Only then can it end.

Although it's existed for many years, "The Colander Game" was only coined as such during a recent afternoon drive with Castor Drake and Erica Kobayashi. A partial transcript is as followed:





At which point me, the "player," could be called out by the "target," (or by a bystander, such as Erica), as "playing The Colander Game," and the game would be over.

It is impossible to "win" The Colander Game. You can only "finish." This fatal flaw lies within the root logic of the game. The ultimate "win" is not knowing what the Colander Game is at all. It's the backwards way in which "targets" become better at recognizing the game over time, and the best "players" are the ones who don't know they're doing it. Victory is achieved simply by being. Playing the game inevitably means being less good at it than had you never started. By virtue of acknowledging the game's existence, you have become a worse player. In the hellish entwined experiences of humor and irony, everyone involved much experience some downward spiral in order for it to be funny.

Edited by user 17 December 2014 11:13:13(UTC)  | Reason: Not specified

Nichole: It's that, too.

Jordan: I'm so confused what the heck is a Colander?