After the shocking news of Thunderwolf frontman Raven's death, reporters have been fighting to get a statement with Gemma Ferns. Finally, a couple of our reporters tracked her down to the family home of bandmate Dean Keller in South Africa.
Miss Ferns, 20, graciously agreed to issue a statement to us. With tears flowing freely and Dean Keller at her side, supporting her, she read the following:
"I am incredibly shocked and saddened by the news of Raven's death. He was not only an outstanding musician but was also an incredible person who would have done anything for those he loved. He was kind, generous and loving and was a rare cross of masculinity and sensitivity and brought joy and laughter into the lives of those who he met. His absence will be painfully felt each and every day and I will carry with me the special memories he has left with me until the day when I hope we will meet again.
I received a letter and a disk that Raven sent to me just before he died and I've decided to release the note to, hopefully, comfort fans and leave them knowing that Raven left the earth the way he wanted to, on his own terms, doing what he wanted to do and the nature of his death tells us everything about his character: he always put others before himself, even if it meant he was left in grave danger.
'Dear Gem,
I'm so sorry, sorry for everything. The way I acted, the way things ended between us, it's all my fault. In a world of lies, where people wanted me for money, or power, you wanted me for me. You showed me a love I couldn't find anywhere else no matter how hard I tried or how hard I looked.
I know I can never make it up to you, and I know you've moved on, or at least are trying your best to. I feel guilty for ruining some of the best years of your life. I would come back to you, but I'm afraid you won't accept me back, I wouldn't blame you if you didn't. I know Kai isn't mine. I always knew. But I wanted him to be. I wanted to be there for him and you, like a real husband and father.
I fucked up. Fucked everything up. For years music was my life, to create and to perform. It was what I lived for. Then I met you and felt purpose. I understood humanity. I knew and felt love for the first time. But like an idiot I threw it all away. To my horror I found that without you nothing felt right. I could not create, I could not perform, I was a shell.
People urged me to seek help, but I never wanted help, I wanted you, but I'd see in the media and hear from our friends that you'd moved on, were making a life with Billy. I lost hope. I put myself into therapy hoping I could erase the pain. But they couldn't help me, they wanted me to face it, confront it.
For all their learning and training they couldn't stop the dreams, they couldn't dull the neverending pain of losing you. They tried drugs, but it did nothing, if anything it made me worse. Frustrated and unable to stand the constant pain I broke free.
I feel bad for the people I hurt during my escape, but I could not be in that place any longer. I travelled the world searching for someone who could help me forget the pain of losing the only person to ever have truly loved me. No one could ever help me.
In the end I gave up. If you're reading this now, I'm already gone. To make up for hurting you I have resolved to lessen the pain of others. I know I can never have you back, but if I can reunite other couples who love each other as I love you then hopefully I can avoid anyone else feeling the torture I feel right now.
Attached is my last ever musical work.
I dedicate this, my most beautiful piece to you. It is the labour of 15 years, constantly refined since the day I began to play guitar for real.
Do with it what you will, but when you hear it played, think of me. It is the only way I know to express the love i feel for you in my heart
Love always and forever,
Raven.'
I am not sure yet whether I will release the song Raven wrote and recorded for me yet. It's a very private and honest song, and there is a selfish part of me that would love to keep it for my ears only, the last bond we alone can share, but I know it is selfish as it truly is one of the most beautiful songs I have ever heard and I think it would be truly special for Raven's fans and contemporaries to hear.
It is with regret that my relationship with Raven ended the way it did, but my love and admiration for him will live on, and I know in my heart that he knew this. Although he had no children by blood, I will ensure his memory and legacy lives on in Kai, who will know all about the special man who loved him so much, despite all the odds.
If Raven is out there, I just pray that he is finally at peace, finally reunited with his beloved father and I hope he will watch over me, and keep his presence alive in my heart forever. I will always love you.
Thank you."
It is still unknown if Gemma will publicly release the song Raven wrote for her, and it is unknown if, and when, she will return from South Africa.
Edited by user 20 September 2009 07:12:02(UTC)
| Reason: Not specified