(OOC: First time I ever do a roleplay like this so I hope you enjoy it. It was fun to do something outside the box instead of doing my normal rp's of articles or releases or performances etc, etc, etc. Eh, if you guys like it I might try and do some more. Enjoy and it's interesting enough for whoever actually reads it :p)

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Location: New York City, New York
Date: Sunday, September 27, 2009
Involved: Ashley Perry, Ryan Ross Hernandez, Gabriel Hunter

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"Ryan! Dude, where're you going man? We've got a radio interview in an hour!" Gabriel Hunter yelled out of the bus, in the direction of the slowly disappearing figure of Ryan Ross Hernandez.

When his best friend simply ignored him, Gabriel felt a twinge of hurt in his chest at the rejection he had just received, but shrugged it off as he went to get ready for the New York meet and greet.

It had been that way for majority of the last couple of months: Ashley practically glued to her big brother figure Nick Asher's side, Victoria and Anilet were like typical girly-girl BFFs, Hunter and Joey Fallon were the pranksters of the band who were always making jokes and whatnot to lighten the mood while Ryan simply went on his own. He would miss out on their lunch outings and band meetings to be by himself. Be it taking a walk around the venue or just taking a stroll around the city that they stopped in, he was alone. During meet and greets, he was distant and usually stood by himself until a fan came by, only then did he attempt to make awkward chit-chat. Other times, he failed to even show up, and fans were disappointed to meet only six members of their favorite band. Hernandez' use to be so happy it was tough to ever see him with a sad or even serious look upon his face. But something had happen the last couple of months that completely changed him.

While most of the other band members and crew were worried about him, they left him alone to his thoughts. Every member attempted to try and get him to open up but he just wouldn't let anyone inside, as Ryan normally kept his emotions under lock and key - with the occasional song being written, where he poured everything out - but not even a song was helping him now, and they were confused by his behavior.

"Is he coming?" asked Ashley as she put on her makeup in the mirror. Gabriel shrugged and went on his way, while she sighed in reply.

Despite them not being the best of friends as before, he was still one of her closest friends. When she realized how much their relationship had faltered during the past few months, she was in distress. What would she be without Ryan? He was somewhat of her muse, after her current boyfriend Patrick Lewis, bassist in Breaking Dawn at Sunset of course. For the first time in her life since she has known Ryan she was afraid of him now. The Ryan Ross Hernandez from when PANIC! had first started was gone, she hoped not forever, but it was obvious that he wasn't coming back for a while.

The fun Ryan, the caring and loving Ryan, the Ryan that was hers had died, and now what remained of him was a scarred and emotionally distressed ghost of him. The ghost left destruction and confusion in his wake, unintentionally hurting those that loved him the most, and no one knew why they were being snapped at. Even Ashley, the only person he has told everything to was kept in the dark, and it hurt that Ryan didn't feel safe with her anymore, enough to tell her what was going on.

Ashley applied the last of her mascara and took off from the bus, in pursuit of Ryan. He wasn't going to miss another event for the fans. Not on her watch.

Although she figured he must have been rather far from the bus by then, she managed to catch the obvious pattern of his favorite washed blue jeans and his form rounding the corner of a building in the distance. She quickly gave chase and stayed closely behind his walking form when she finally caught up with him. She decided to keep silent by his side, and if he had noticed her presence, he did not show it.

While they walked in awkward silence for at least 10 minutes, Ashley found that staring at her converse shoes was the best way to ease the uneasy feeling churning in the pit of her stomach. This probably was one of the most uncomfortable moments she had ever been in with Ryan, excluding their breakup. She jerked her head up when she saw that they had stepped onto a grass patch. They had entered, well Ryan has entered and she followed when he stepped foot into Central Park. It was one of the most beautiful parks in the world but it seemed like Ryan wasn't there because of its beauty. It was almost as beautiful as her favorite park in Franklin - coming from her, a loyal Franklin-nite, that was probably one of the best compliments she could ever give to a town that wasn't her home. Situated at one corner of the park, was a steel bench underneath a large tree with its leaves falling onto the ground some leaves already changing color and form for autumn, which Ryan immediately headed towards.

Ashley smirked as she realized how, somewhere deep within, Ryan was still a goofy, adventurous boy that was her best friend. They sat themselves on the steel bench as their minds wandered into space for a good period of time. After a couple of minutes when some people jogged passed them it finally woke them from their thoughts. Ashley just waited, not wanting to speak until Ryan finally told her something. She knew, he would decide to open up to her sooner or later. He quietly cleared his throat before he finally spoke.

"I'm sorry..." It was barely considered a whisper, but they were the first words spoken between them since they embarked on their journey from the bus.

"Don't be" Ashley replied gently, afraid that if she had said it any louder, the moment between them would shatter.

Ryan put his fingers to the bridge of his nose and let out a deep sigh. He shook his head before continuing.

"No, you don't understand. Ashley, I just can't take it anymore. The long months of touring, the fame, the fact that all my friends are in relationships and I can't help but feel alone and honestly, I don't know if I can hold up any longer. I constantly tell myself, 'It's just another night, Ryan, you can get through it', or 'It's just another relationship going down hill, Ryan, you'll find that someone' but I don't know if I can.... I don't know if I will..." - Ryan Ross Hernandez

He brushed the unshed tears from his chocolate brown eyes before they threatened to spill from his eyelids. Ashley couldn't help but feel her eyes water as she saw the pained expression on his face, the desperate look in his eyes; a look of anguish and agony.

Ashley rose from her cross-legged perch on the bench and enveloped her band-mate, but most importantly her friend in a hug, the biggest hug she could manage, considering the size that she was. She stroked his hair in a comforting gesture as he began to let out violent sobs over her shoulder.

Ashley rocked her best friend back and forth as they sat on the cold steel metal of bench from the park. Ryan was finally letting his emotions out, for the first time in front of someone, it was a new feeling for him. He wasn't expressing himself through words or music he was just letting all he has held inside for months out at that very moment.

to be continued...

Edited by user 30 September 2009 11:24:10(UTC)  | Reason: Not specified

OOC: Yes, there is I forgot to put TBC in the end my bad. Thanks! It was fun trying this style out, might do it more often. For this one in particular I expect to maybe add one or two more parts depending if after I write the second part I can come up with a storyline to continue it.

OOC: Aww, it's so sad!! :( Very well written, though! Can't wait to read the rest!

OOC: Thanks for the positive comments really means a lot to me. I'll be posting a statement as RRH soon that adds to this story then sometime later today I'll add part 2 of this. But thanks for reading and don't worry it won't get that sad/emo. :)

Location: New York City, New York (Central Park)
Date: Sunday, September 27, 2009

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This was one of the most emotional moments the two had since they dated. Ashley didn't say a word to him, fearing that Ryan might block his feelings once again if she didn't say the right thing. That heartfelt moment continued for a couple of seconds. Ryan pulled on the back of her shirt gently, biting down on his lower lip trying his best to just stop crying. She was almost in tears too as she saw how hurt he was. Ashley really did care about him and she wanted to know what was going on inside him that is causing him so much pain. She has known Ryan for years and she has never seen him in such a bad state. She wasn't afraid of him because she knew no one was as calm as him but she was worried about him.

When Ashley felt his tears and sobs were calming down, she gently rose his head from her shoulder. Ryan's face was red, and his eyes were so bloodshot from the tears he had let out. In a comforting way she placed her hands on each side of his face, cleaning off the last few tears that fell from his eyes with her thumbs.

"Ryan, everything is gonna be fine. Everyone gets tired in this business. Everyone feels like they won't ever find love in their lives sometimes. Ryan, you are going to find that lucky girl. Your talented, your successful, your cute. Girls all over the world to be with you." Ashley asked, in the most soft and gentle voice she could manage. Ryan closed his eyes as he lowered his head.

She ran her fingers through his short, dark brown hair trying to get him to speak. He moved his head to the side in an attempt to make her stop but to a failed attempt, Ryan disheveled stood up almost causing Ashley to fall but she held on to the corner of the bench. Ryan turned his back on her putting his hands on his neck, unsure of what to tell her.

"Ryan, you have to tell me something. I'm not a mind reader, if I was I wouldn't be here. You have to understand that I care about you so much. But if you don't talk to me I can't help you, as a matter of fact no one can. Your just to blind to see that there are people in this world that care about you, like I do. I don't know what happened but understand that not everyone in this world wants to hurt you. I shouldn't have to tell you that because those were the exact words you told me when my parents got divorced," Ashley said in a higher voice, hoping to finally get through to him.

Ryan looked down to the concrete floor and started to shake his head abruptly. "I'm just confused... I'm, I'm hurt... I put so much faith into people and you know what happens in the end? They all leave, they all throw it away like nothing. You're telling me to be real to you, to tell you what is wrong. Honestly I don't know what is wrong Ashley, I'm just trying to figure myself out before I can tell you or anyone else what is going on. I truly wish I could tell you everything but I can't tell you anything until I just figure myself out," Ryan let out a heavy sigh before continuing, "its like inside I know something is missing but I can't figure out what it is, its like a big jigsaw puzzle inside my heart, my soul and I can't find the right pieces to figure it out."

Ashley's eyes watered up as she heard him speak. It was as if in a blink of an eye Ryan had changed so quickly and become so weak. She's known Ryan for so long, and even though he'd always been kind and friendly he always showed strength on the outside. Due to Ashley's small size, she had to get on her toes to be able to fully hug him. Ryan got a warm feeling inside, many times since they had broken up he has had many doubts on whether they would actually be able to have the same friendship they shared before hand. He knew deep down he still had stronger feelings towards Ashley than just a friendship but he wasn't going to let his own feeling and pride get in the way of her happiness. She was happy with Patrick and he wasn't going to try and unsettle her relationship nor most importantly place at risk his friendship with her once more.

That heartfelt hug, broke when Ashley's cell phone rang. Taking the phone from out of her pocket she saw it was Patrick, she looked up at Ryan, and like he almost certainly knew who it was he simply nodded and showed a very small smirk. Ashley placed her iPhone on her ear that was covered by her newly bleached bright blond hair. "Hey hun..."

As she started to talk with her boyfriend, Ryan walked around the surrounding park area to give Ashley her personal space. He was already use to it. Her and Patrick having lunch dates through video chat, talking constantly before going to bed, and when he was off from any work with Breaking Dawn he'd hope on the band's bus and join them on tour to spend time with her. Ryan and Patrick never have really liked each other mainly because they both have completely opposite personalities, he hasn't let him get in the way of his great chemistry onstage with Ashley although he didn't like that every time Patrick was around she would just spend 24/7 with him and forget about the band.

Ryan sat on the edge of the bench and took out his iPhone, looking through a text he had received earlier but didn't realize it, it read: "Dude, where the hell are you?! Is Ashley with you??? The interview is about to start and I seriously think that no one gives a shit about us. ! without A&R is crap. One of you better get your assess over here..... NOW! - gabriel hunter."

Hernandez chuckled a little under his breath, which caught Ashley's attention who had just finished her conversation with Patrick.
"What's so funny?" Ashley asked, rising an eyebrow not sure of what had made Ryan smile if it was just a little. "Read this." Ryan said handing over his phone to her. She let out a laugh before a deep sigh, while shaking her head.

"You know he is like that 'cause its just him and Joey who went to the interview." Ashley said handing back his phone. Ryan finally let out a laugh for the first time in a while, "Well that will defiantly go down as one of the most 'interesting' PANIC! Interviews to say the least." Ashley smiled at him, nodding her head in agreement. "You wanna go get a coffee or something, we don't have to be in the airport for a couple of hours."

Ryan shrugged and nodded his head in agreement. They began to walk side by side in direction to exit the park, all of sudden Ryan stopped and loudly cleared his throat getting Ashley's attention to look back, "Before we go Ashley I should.... ugh..... well....." He ran a couple of his fingers through her bright blonde hair taking out a few leaves that had fallen on her when they had sat on the bench.

When he was done, Ashley playfully punched him on the shoulder as he chuckled a bit more. They continued on their ways, to a near by coffee shop. In the meantime they exchanged some conversations, not at all did Ashley bring up any hurtful feelings since she didn't want to worser Ryan's state. But she did start to make him laugh, which he hadn't done in sometime.

(OOC: This story is completed for now. Will start a new one Thursday or Friday about maybe Ryan opening up to the other members. Or maybe something that has Ashley in the main role, haven't made up my mind yet either way hope you enjoyed this!)