E! ENTERTAINMENT NEWS ROUND-UP | TRENDING TOPICS WITH ADAM BENJAMIN!
“Good evening, I’m Adam Benjamin, news anchor extraordinaire and part-time lion-tamer and I’m here to bring you the latest news from the past two weeks in the music industry. ROLL THE TITLES!!
~ Adam places his finger onto his earpiece, to signal that the producer of the show is talking to him, he then starts to have a one-sided conversation with the shows producer ~What? We don’t have any titles? Can’t you just put my name up there across the screen in big huge letters or something? I dunno … like in some super fancy font? Really? All we can afford is Times New Roman? Well this is a little disappointing? Well do we have theme music? No? Well can I sing a theme tune? … I was thinking maybe Gangster’s Paradise? But I do walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I’m pretty sure everybody does … it’s relatable! … well this is just gonna suck.
~ Adam removes his finger from his earpiece and looks directly at the camera and does a “serious face” ~ I’m Adam Benjamin and here are your top stories from the past two weeks.
The beautiful pop-group “Weekend” announced that they had re-uploaded their holiday EP from 2012 to the hysteria of this newscaster, sadly after three days of standing outside of Dustyn’s bedroom window I was still unable to get a statement from him, I did however get a stern telling off from authorities along with a restraining order. Hashtag worth it!
Tracks from the 2012 collection included a cover version of Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas Is You”, apparently that sentiment was lost on Dustyn as he contacted the authorities immediately upon finding me searching through his trash cans.
Everybody’s favourite creepy but hot goth “Julia Volkova” released the music video for “For Alex”. In the music video we see Julia projecting videos onto the wall of her empty apartment of herself and her boyfriend having sex. In the very next scene, Julia is then caught setting a rose on fire. It’s funny, when I watch porn and set things on fire, I’m told that I’ve got a problem and that I’m a danger to myself. But when Julia does it with those beautiful panda eyes and pasty ghost breasts she’s this edgy artist and gets nominated for awards. Double standards? Definitely!
Tisha Jackson and Aubrey Mikkel teamed up to release a collaboration album titled “Black Goddess”, although the album has only been available for two weeks it’s already started to gain lots of attention. In fact, the album was so popular that there’s talk of Tisha and Aubrey releasing another album together at the beginning of 2016, a tentative title for the next record is “The Prostitute Blueprint” and the pair are set to head out on a worldwide tour in support of the album, the tour was recently announced as the “Women’s Equality Tour”.
Ryan Ross Hernandez announced that he’ll be creating another TV show, the show will be launched on Netflix but currently does not have a title just yet. However, the future bodes well for whichever upcoming stars that are cast on the show. The last TV series that he created “Sweet Unknown” launched the careers of four future music stars in Nadia Berry, Isabel Merjos, Isaac Lovelock and Cristina Lake. Apparently the irony may have been lost with the title of the show and the casting of four of the most well known names in music at that time.
Already rumours are flying around the internet that this is set to become some sort of Mafia series, it’s been said that Hernandez is looking at placing the new series on the shoulders of two new upcoming actors, a relatively untested actor from New York called Robert De Niro and a complete unknown called Al Pacino. Good luck Mr. Hernandez!
C.M.B.D recently released their latest single “Forbidden Four” and gave away the biggest secrets of their lives in the songs title. It turns out that each of them are forbidden for very different reasons, Chaelin is actually a nun, Daraxi is without genitals, Bom is a ghost and Minzy is just an apple from around 3500 BC.
Vanity released her twelfth studio album, the appropriately titled “Dominant”, she’s recently been killing it in the music charts recently and in her personal life too, although those charges were dropped rather swiftly as a gun-toting Vanity screamed, "I'll kill you all", after all this time, we're all still very much afraid of what she could do. However the wily sixty-seven year old temptress shows that individuality comes a long way in the music industry, having a music career that is older than some of her rival popstars. The hope is that the new breed start to take note from Vanity’s career and start to show who they are, rather than just blending in.
And finally, MiMi announced their massive world tour, lasting a year and a half, the Asian girl group are set to perform in the very biggest venues across the entire globe. Performing in venues like Madison Square Garden had this rhythm guitarist from a band that has released five studio albums, four of which were number ones and having never performed at a venue as iconic as Madison Square Garden pondering whether to fire his own management. There was a time when performing at that huge New York venue was the pinnacle of one’s career, a number of years of hard work, consistently releasing album after album of incredible work and finally after having worked hard to earn it, you finally get asked to perform at that incredible arena. But in an era of YouTube views and trending topics, apparently you just need to be kind of “around” to get the opportunity to put that once giant of accolades on your resume … but I’m not bitter, I’m just not a trending topic … rant over! Benjamin OUT!"
