Title: "Alive"
Artist: Reese Hollinsworth
From the album: Untitled (2016)
Released: January 1, 2016
Format: Digital download
Recorded: February-June 2015; Roc the Mic Studios (New York City, New York, United States)
Genre(s): Electropop
Length: 3:36
Record label: Kaleidoscope Records
Writer(s): Reese Hollinsworth, Airemese Smith
Producer(s): Greg Kurstin, Jesse Shatkin
“
Alive” is a song recorded by Vietnamese-American recording artist Reese Hollinsworth for his sophomore studio album. Co-written by Hollinsworth and Airemese Smith of Rum & Coke, and produced by Greg Kurstin along with Jesse Shatkin, the song was released without any prior announcement at precisely 12:01 a.m. on January 1, 2016 (Eastern Standard Time) on various digital and streaming outlets worldwide. On the same morning, “Alive” will make its airplay premiere on The Dahl Hour through Kaleidoscope Records. It is an electropop song, with elements of eletronica, R&B and reggae influences. Lyrically, the song most probably details the thought process of a transgender man who is willing to live with his true self during a night out. This is Hollinsworth’s first release in over four months, during which time the album was delayed due to “personal reasons”, which prompted Hollinsworth’s public silence since his performance of his number-one single “Stockholm” at the 2015 Fan Choice Awards.
Work on the song started as far back as February 2015, when Hollinsworth was actually writing for “another artist”, whose identity remains undisclosed. Within a day, the singer managed to come up with “half the song”, an April 2015 report stated, and was slated to hold a “producers’ meeting” to find a producer who understood the sound he was going for, told Greg Kurstin, who was eventually chosen to be the producer for the song, along with vocal producer Jesse Shatkin. The day after, Hollinsworth had finished writing the entire song and recorded a “first draft”, which was prepared to make it onto the album. However, in early March, Hollinsworth began having second thoughts on the song, and started making minor edits to the song’s lyrics, though the production remains markedly intact. The only extensive edit to the song was made by the hands of Airemese Smith of R&B duo Rum & Coke, who had previously collaborated with Hollinsworth on his chart-topping lead single “Stockholm”. The four reconvened for one last session to record the final version of the song, which reaches your ears today.
“Alive" was written by Hollinsworth and Smith and was produced by Kurstin and Shatkin. It was described as an electropop ballad featuring "soaring" synthesisers, "militant" drums, and hip hop beats with electronica, R&B, and reggae influences. The song features Hollinsworth's "jaw-dropping" vocal performance. The song is written in the key of B ♭ minor and it follows the chord progression of Bbm–Gb7–Ab–Fm. Lyrically, the song entails the thought process of a transgender man who is determined to live as a woman, someone who he claims he was born as. However, “comes along with it is a sense of insecurity,” The Guardian’s Andrew Ryerson noted in his review of the single, which points out the peculiarness of the second verse compared to the first, which “embodied a sense of confidence”.
Lights are out, clothes all shed
Can't feel nothing, not even myself
Gotta let it out, let it out
Turn off the person everybody sees
Turn into the heroine my story needs
If I can be anything, this is my anything
So I suck my stomach in, tuck the fears away
Paint on this brave face, show just how I feel
Grow into these heels, watch me fit this dress
I was born a woman
And I'm gonna be who I am for tonight, for the rest of my life
Gonna get out of this hideout shelter of mine, be who I am for tonight
Freed from reality, I've been dreaming this whole time and now I'm finally alive
I'm gonna be who I am for tonight, for the rest of my lifeI tell myself time after time
Won't let myself keep living lies
But it's something about morning light
That seems to bring out the coward inside
Oh what if I'm turned away from home?
How far will these heels take me on their own?
I'll hold on, and even when I don't
I'll still be on the ropes, hanging all aloneSmiling big, as if I belong
Can't feel my face, this ain't what I want
Palms are shaking, palms are shaking
Deep breath in, deep breath out, now
Deep breath in, deep breath out, now
Deep breath in, deep breath out, now
Can't turn back now, gotta paint the town red
And I'm gonna be who I am for tonight, for the rest of my life
Gonna get out of this hideout shelter of mine, be who I am for tonight
Freed from reality, I've been dreaming this whole time and now I'm finally alive
I'm gonna be who I am for tonight, for the rest of my lifeI tell myself time after time
Won't let myself keep living lies
But it's something about morning light
That seems to bring out the coward inside
Oh what if I'm turned away from home?
How far will these heels take me on their own?
I'll hold on, and even when I don't
I'll still be on the ropes, hanging all aloneTell me where did I go wrong?
Why does it take so long?
One day they'll accept who I am in this life
One day I'll truly be alive...
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