Hello, MTV News, I'm here today interviewing my lesser half, Rum.
Oh, so this is how we're doing this?

I'm afraid so! Now onto something that actually matters, did you leak my album?
You got me! All of the tea I have and I decided releasing your album for you was going to do the most damage. And to think, if it wasn't for this darn interview I would've gotten away with it! [wags fist]

Touché, bitch. This is the first time we've been in the same room together in months. Isn't that weird for you, not having someone to annoy every second of the day.
It is, you don't even feel like the same person. I see that you still know how to suck all of the energy out of a room though, amongst other things.



You still fucking everybody who steps foot in your studio?
Perhaps.

Interesting, truly! Does Aikya know?
WOOP! Interview over!!

[Laughs] Okay so.. [shuffles through cards] Apparently your birthday was a month ago or something, happy that.
You sholl don't know how to call nobody!

You sholl don't know how to invite no one to Brazil!
You wasn't even picking up your phone!

Good thing we aren't talking about me right now. How was your little trip?
Brazil was amazing! It was like a spiritual journey, truly felt like some Eat Pray Love shit! I went white water rafting, rock climbing, got attacked by water falls and learned about all the cute lil' animales. Brazil's such a beautiful place, so cultural.

Was it as fun as you thought it'd be?
I've been to brazil plenty of times before so I knew what to expect. It's just that this time I decided to be Dora the Explorer and got my ass handed to me. On the nature channels they make everything look so peaceful and fun but that shit is dangerous! Mother Nature really was out here trying to get me! I got such a rush from all of the pointless near-death experiences, I can't wait to go back.

See, cute story, but I'm still not sure why you thought I wouldn't want to go.
Girl, you weren't even in mind. I had planned the trip with someone else but I pissed her off.

Oooh, what did you do to Aikya!!
Coke, shut up, damn! [laughs]

Well, you were on Instagram with her all up in your bathtub, it isn't a secret anymore.
Yeah but it's.. that's not even anything official, at least not anymore.

Not anymore?
Well, I was kind of in my feelings for a minute and I kind of took advantage of a complicated situation and she wont talk to me now. That's nothing new, I do that all the time when people get too close but I don't know, I actually care this time.



Wait.. [holds back a laugh] So your solution was to hop on Instagram.. And not even write a proper caption??? [bursts out laughing]
Shut up, it wasn't exactly like that! When I came back from Brazil, I still had to be in the studio with her and stuff. That was real awkward, while I was away she rage-wrote about me and I just had to sit there and pretend like I'm doing something productive as she dragged me melodically. We didn't speak much in those sessions but I don't know, the music kind of speaks for you. She sent me that pic after a good day in the studio but she was still curving my ass. She hates unnecessary attention so I hopped on Instagram and gave her just that.

…..Did it work?
Mind your business!! We're estranged acquaintances, remember?

Damn, okay! Moving on, what is it like having to produce your own diss tracks?
It's a real introspective experience, made me review all my actions and shit. She's making beautiful music and really opening up, to see how much I was hurting her had me really thinking. One line hit me like a pile of bricks. She really looked me dead in the eye and sung, "how can you just take someone's love and use it as a shield? Hiding from what you can't admit, leaving me bare to how I feel" Like damn, I don't know why I'm like this, leave me alone! [laughs] She really read me!

People writing songs about you definitely isn't a foreign topic. Did you feel the same way when you had to produce Dae Ho Park's song "0.08%", which he obviously wrote about you?
Hell nah! I do admit the way things ended between us was pretty screwed and that was all thanks to me but he disrespected me, and the song was trash anyway. That's exactly why I wrote "Downtime" and ended his ass.

'Ended' his ass but he got a #1 to his name before you, interesting analysis.
You, him and everybody who bought y'all little song can get these hands to your names, Ignore that, bitch. Anyways [crosses legs], he was a little boy and I should've knew better. Things are different now, we're cool. All of that is of the past now.



Most of your solo stuff has been based solely around your sex life 'cause you're a hoe [coughs dramatically], do you think with a solo album nearing that you'd be opening up a little more in your music?
I like my music to be personal and raw in emotion but when I dig deep, I always have to make sure I don't dig too deep. Sex is not only an easy way out, but it's also really important to my life. I have a lot of it with a lot of different people--

We know.
Your man knows too. Regardless, I'm trying to bring new topics to the table for my album, but it's a tricky process.

Is that why you're album is taking a minute?
Well there's that and the fact that I'm trying my best to balance out all of the rapping and singing. It's harder than it sounds, and as much as I want to continue being a respected rapper, there are just some things that can only be expressed through melody, you know? I'm just trying to take my time and really think this out, there's no rush at all.

For me, my album came together much easier and much much faster. I didn't really take notice of my work ethic until I put my own stuff together but I don't know. Which one of us was to thank for Rum & Coke's fast pace when it comes to making and releasing music?
You definitely are, no doubt. You're such a talented song-writer and composer, once you get an idea of what you wanna do, you do that shit. I'm a perfectionist, for me to do anything right I have to have the right idea and make sure it comes out exactly as I want it to. It's just that I'm also indecisive, so it takes me a while to get to that idea.

Tea. Not only is my album out and it sounds good [flips hair and adjusts fur coat], it's also doing well all over the world. How does that make you feel?
Girl, I guess I'm proud or whatever. You've come so far as an artist and your sound, your lyrics, your new look, all of it is just perfect. You've got hella potential that you don't get to show off while attached to my hip, seeing you spreading your wings and soar is.. A relief. It's beautiful, really.

Aww, okay, alright! Now for the random questions. Purple or pink?
Pink is ugly, disgusting, blasphemous, why would that even be a question?

Lights on or off?
Lights off with the TV on. It's like a real life Snapchat filter. Makes me want to write songs about my feelings and shit.

Austin Nimmo or Bilal Holmes?
The one that didn't block me for those 2 seconds on Twitter!! You know he had the audacity to change his name to Bilal and act like it wasn't all MY idea when I was the only one calling him Bilal!!

I'm pretty sure that's not wh--
You ever notice how Bilal wasn't popping until I said he was? Well that's over, it's cancelled! He's never gonna make it now!

I'm pretty sure he was popping way before we even debuted.
Hmm.. [tsk] Was he really? 'Cause everybody thought Nicole Scherzinger was popping until she dropped her backup dancers, and then suddenly no one cared at all.

Moving on!! What's the craziest thing that's ever happened to you?
Girl, I couldn't tell you the 20th. Oooh but you wanna know something that's definitely in the top 100?

I mean, I don't really care, I'm just asking the questions.
Okay children, gather round for the story of Rum and Erich. I call this one, 'Oh Girl, He Wants Ya!'



Oh my, this isn't that kind of broadcasting, that's a couple hundred channels further down...
Shhh! Okay, so it was a good day, the sun was shining, and I was getting ready to make some good music. Erich invited me to his boat which probably should've been the first sign because, I mean, when a dude invites you to his boat there's a 50/50 chance that he wants to bend you over the railing, based off my experiences anyway.

Here we gooo.
But I didn't think so at first because his boat isn't one of those, 'oh wow, you're rich as fuck' boats, it was a 'oh okay! You're really edgy!' kind of boats. I love me a wanderer! I thought he was different and wasn't really into me like that but little did Rum know, oh girl, he wants ya! We go on the boat and recorded that track we never released in no time. We went to go watch TV and eat some chips, even talked about nothing. It was chill, until his wife came storming in. It was a good day, I didn't have my blade. Of course my first response was, "fuck my life" but you know how some people just say "fuck me" but like, it's still in the same way!

Oh my god, you did not tell that woman's husband to fuck you while looking her dead in the eye!
No! I said fuck me sideways!! But it wasn't like that at all, it was just an expression!!

Wow, Rum, WOOOW!
But you know what made it worse? This DUMB ASS is gonna smirk at me and say, 'oh yeah, I'd fuck you right here on this table' and shit hit the fan!! I mean his wife tried to kill herself but mind you, we were just talking about Dr. Phil and unicorns and without any thought his first reaction was, 'well, I don't know how to do that sideways thing but this table looks pretty sturdy..' Girl, I was SHOOK! No one's ever threw me off my game like that before!!

And all this time I just thought it was all you, very interesting indeed!
Mhmm, and he hops on twitter every time someone brings it up like, 'these rumors are preposterous and I would NEVER!' just like a man with a guilty conscious! He knows he wanted to sip this Latino Vino Fino.

Latino Vino.. Fino? You gave your ethnicity a nickname, I'm..
Yeah girl, I got one for everyone! Korean BBQ, Japanese Cuisine, Indian Spice, Jamaican Poppy, Loose Sioux, Caucasian Invasion, Black Jack, Zebra Cakes..

[Anniken comes barging into the focus] Whelp, this interview is over!!!

Thank god! 'Bout time we got to someone with actual music to promote!
Okay, first of all.. Bitch! I just said that I was taking my ti--