Relix- Interview
New York NY
Radio discusses new album, meditation and new found love for art pieces
Where are you in the world right now? Im in Los Angeles California at the moment.
You grew up there a little bit during your childhood, do you have any special moments in Los Angeles? (Laughs) I’m sorry but I always will have this picture is my head if when I first like really started to live in LA, do you wanna hear it? OKAY! (laughs) I hated it! I hated it, it was so much going on. It was almost like everything moves so fast it’s hard to take everything in but the special memory— (chuckles) me actually being able to live there.
How do you think your childhood shaped you? My childhood? I think I had moments where I was alone growing up and I had many opportunities to sing to myself, and eventually writing poems and lyrics. So I had to find that friend in something I think, even know! I grew up in foster care with several children, many many children may I add, but I wasn’t fit most of the time so I had to find something I fitted in.
What did your parents do for a living and did you like your parents? I really don’t know, fuck. You’ll be so much more to me if you can actually tell me... what they did for a living. I know to the time I was six, I was with my real parents. And most of the shit I should of known about my parents, I didn’t.. I just knew that.. somehow they loved me. Whatever the fuck that means right?
Tell me about the first song you’ve ever madeWhew... so so long ago.. (laughs) did you ever that accent? It was like French, almost. No? Okay so my first song I literally recorded in a basement of someone’s home! I recorded with a band, a band that I knew in the neighborhood when I was around 16, and we wrote this song called Apples and it was actually about her life rooting right in from of our eyes and we didn’t see it. Weird. See? I was sixteen!
What was the first album you bought for yourself? I remember me and my little sister went to the record store, alone by the way.. and we somehow got the Shampoo- Shampoo album (grins)
How did you get the album? You were five at the time.Well yeah of course! It was more so two years after the album were released and they still had copies on the shelves.. DUH! Haha, I’m just kidding. You’re so doing great love.
What’s the last song you listened too?
I can’t even remember what I did yesterday let along my last song.. oh! I was listening too MY song “ Funhouse” from the new album. From the NEW album. (Winks)
What’s the last flight that you took and how did you pass time? I hate flights, just to make that clear, while we’re ahead. But I had to take one to Paris just two days ago to record more performances inside my home.. in Paris. Most of the time I’m either writing, new ideas or just listening to some jazz, something to calm me into a essence of peace.
What’s one thing that makes you feel at home no matter where you are? This is such a cute question because oh my god, so... I have this blanket that my grandfather Elliot gave me when I was maybe 9, and I still carry it around when I am traveling.
You speak often about your
mental illness you’ve been dealing with such a young age, how were you diagnosed?I just remember me always sad at a young age, or suddenly well.. my foster parents at that time knew something was not right.. I would do things that will be very mean and then I will be the sweetest. I think who I was as an kid was very scary to some people because it can be mentally exhausting to deal with it.
I went into these rants often where I was really emotionally, till this DAY! Yeah yeah.. but as an young kid that was very weird.. I guess the way my whole energy as an kid was, very mean spirited and I will find reasons or justify my reasons by somehow making up these stories in my head that were real. So.. I went though tests for months and months, and me being so young I didn’t know what was going on. I was so blind to it. But I started to understand it the more I got older.
Is that whole experience your go to when you write music? Well most of the time I’m not myself when I’m writing... what I mean is that I’m a mind drifter so I’m constantly driving in my head so everything I’m holding inside comes out in music. That whole experience to the age of ten to twelve was crazy.. scary ya know? Because I didn’t know what was going out, I just knew I did things and I didn’t understand it. So I had time to reflect as a young teenager and that bought me closer to my music or just anything I was dealing with at that time
You’re style is so unique, it always offers something fresh but it can be different. Did you want you style to reflect that?Geez.. would you wanna be like fresh or always so a little overdue? Gotta push things guy.. I never wanted to put myself in a box. I go in the studio and I create what I want to create. It’s important to show people you can be creative, and it’s no boundaries on that. Yeah? So like I said, my style reflects me.. clothes, music or whatever the hell, (laughs) but it’s all me. I like it that way.
This makes me think of your first single I ever heard was, ‘ Color Me’ and had brilliant it was you related who you are to a coloring book. How does that still apply today? I’m still a coloring booking... every page is a different color.. every page has different art.. every page has a different vibe to it ya know? It applies to every one darling. You’re a coloring book, it’s more things to you then the surface doll face. It’s more to me. So I’ll always be a coloring book. Growing each day..
How do you deal with your bipolar disorder when you’re on the road? I’ve always found mediating really hopeful, so I invested a lot of time challenging myself to do so. It’s tough especially on the road, because you have to keep it together, also good energy around me. The people I work work are important to keep that energy very consistent in my life in order to fight what I have going on mentally. I also love to dance, can you believe it? Me loving to fucking dance? So funny. Dancing is peaceful to me, ballet of course. I visit a therapist often.. which is something new. I tried to stay on a high road as much as I can, meaning trying to focus on getting better and not getting worst.
Reminds of the song ‘ Peace Knockers’ a song about finding your aura, your peace. What one thing that brings you peace? Music. It hits me deep in a place I don’t like to be. I don’t like sometimes feeling emotional but when I listen to a song, a beat, anything- it takes me on emotionally and everything in life that brings you something so amazing like touching your emotions.. your real emotions.
That song came from me really taking the whole therapy thing seriously.. because it wasn’t something I just wanted to do.. like I was busy writing and recording so fuck that— but I found a lot on what’s wrong with me though those sessions or just me being alone. I was alone in a lot of ways.. I had to find peace in myself so I didn’t feel as alone. I looked at peace like a neighbor. If that makes sense..
You mentioned having good energy and good people around you, do you have any musical besties you can call to give you advice about your peace and sanity as an artist? Chile.. they don’t like me like that. (Chuckles) I’m just kidding, no- actually Daniel, as in the free nerd did a great dealing in my life when it came to my mental issues, just the talks were always so genuine. He even managed me for a bit during the first album. Vanity, is always great to talk too because she is a beast at what she does. She understands it on a business side and a mental side. But I don’t have a lot of celebrity friends but the support darling from them is always so sweet and I appreciate the love baby.
Echos of Silence was never released, will you ever release it one day? One day. Maybe I’ll perform some of it live or something, I don’t know.
Where are you going towards
creativity right now? I want everything to be connected some well at this point in my career that it’s connects my fans to me. I want to be aesthetically myself.. without holding back. I always wanted to grow as an performer, live and I’m taking those steps to be better. I’m so into aesthetic art right now, like painting and wall art. I been traveling to different gardens and vineyards exploring different types of flowers.
I been open minded when it comes to music, I really wanted to tip in more sensitive side and explore parts of myself that I ignore. That’s when the magic happens.. for me it does. With Vineyard, it’s a perfect way to introduce a part of my artistry that’s bright in color and full in sound, more organic vocal and sound.
You’ve always been organic. What’s the number one reason people should listen to Vineyard?I haven’t released an album in six years and it’s definitely going to show where I am musically and creative wise, it will show my piece of art I believe in so much. That’s all I’m say because you all need to hear it for yourself.. yourself darling.
What are you eating these days? Bitches for breakfast. I just love them.
When you leave here, what’s the first thing you will be doing?Oh I don’t know— maybe meet my girlfriend Mary down my hall, into my room in my bed.
It’s always a pleasure Radio.No, my pleasure darling.
