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Atomic_Erich:@MUDPIE I thought that said John waters and I was stoked. But anyone Trump labels an enemy must be ok.... except for that north Korean guy.hes an ass and always will be.
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JoshuaGrimmie: I got real manic earlier on. I don't remember much of it. I just remember coming to and seeing that a re-run of Pimp My Ride was on. I totally forgot about that show. I'm now watching it while eating a tub of ice-cream. Today has been weird.
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Coke > JoshuaGrimmie
Hey, are you okay? Need anything?? We don't know each other but we share some of the same struggles. I've just always wanted to reach out.
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JoshuaGrimmie > Coke
Thank you for reaching out. I appreciate it. I'm fine now. I skimped on sleep last night and I think that aided in my frustration. I was all flustered, trying to locate things in the kitchen because I planned on cooking. Couldn't find anything and got all worked up, pulling open drawers, whacking cupboards open and I just continued to get wound up. I could feel myself getting all hyped up and I realized that I was home alone, which unnerved me and made me panic even more. I don't like people witnessing me like that but if someone is around, they could at least try to stop me from hurting myself. I came around about an hour ago and am just winding down, watching TV with the lights off. Sound like a creep but being in the dark really calms me haha. Blocks everything out. I know you didn't ask to hear my life story but thanks again for messaging :) |
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Originally Posted by: BrownSugar  JoshuaGrimmie > Coke
Thank you for reaching out. I appreciate it. I'm fine now. I skimped on sleep last night and I think that aided in my frustration. I was all flustered, trying to locate things in the kitchen because I planned on cooking. Couldn't find anything and got all worked up, pulling open drawers, whacking cupboards open and I just continued to get wound up. I could feel myself getting all hyped up and I realized that I was home alone, which unnerved me and made me panic even more. I don't like people witnessing me like that but if someone is around, they could at least try to stop me from hurting myself. I came around about an hour ago and am just winding down, watching TV with the lights off. Sound like a creep but being in the dark really calms me haha. Blocks everything out. I know you didn't ask to hear my life story but thanks again for messaging :) Coke > JoshuaGrimmie
Nooo, I dont mind at all! this is what I wanted you to say. I would've felt so out of line and weird if your response was "I'm fine, thx, bye 👋" 😂 It's really good that you came down so soon and by yourself. Are you triggered by no sleep? Or do you not know your triggers yet? Im the opposite I guess, I know what sets me off but I never know how to find ground after an episode. Maybe I need to start stress eating in the dark too 😂
Edited by user 05 September 2017 07:17:35(UTC)
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Atomic_Erich: if someone brought me a pizza,I'd love them forever |
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OurLittleDustyn: @atomic_erich OK! :D
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JoshuaGrimmie > Coke
I feel like a lot of my triggers are to do with stress, sleep and isolation...which sounds odd in this profession 😂. I think it's *sudden* stress that gets me. I'm used to working hard and trying to meet deadlines but if something is suddenly just dropped on me, like today with the cooking utensils that have mysteriously vanished, I feel myself getting super worked up. I can function on little sleep but if I get practically none or have a broken, disturbed sleep then I'm more likely to have an episode the next day but it's not always the case. In terms of isolation, I mean both literally and socially. Again, it's not all the time but sometimes I feel like I'm just alone in the world but it doesn't lead to a depressive state. Instead, I'm left alone with my thoughts and all this negative, bad shit just runs through my mind and I start feeling manic. I rarely know how to find ground either. Today wasn't a BAD one and I guess I was lucky. Usually Johnny talks me down but even that takes quite a while. |
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Coke > JoshuaGrimmie
I feel you completely. Stress is a big one for me as well. I actually dont mind taking it all on at once and sort of multitasking to deal with my problems. I like stressing over everything equally. Things go south when I start to stress out more over one area of my life than all the rest. That's usually when I start to hyperfocus and, well, mania! It's weird but I think when the season change im a lot more on "edge" than usual. Seriously, fuck early spring. Out of nowhere there's too much sun and it's so damn hot...It's like sensory overload for me. Same thing happens late fall but with the opposite weather. It just throws me all off balance and I get sent into a "seasaw" of episodes. One day I'm manic, the next I'm depressed all bc of the damn temperature shifts. I'm already sensitive as hell, I don't need mother nature coming for my neck too.
Coke > JoshuaGrimmie
It's crazy how people get to live day to day lives without fearing that they've stumbled upon a minefield. You obviously didn't ask to deal with any of this but life is a pandora's box and we both have to go the extra mile and hope for normality. Stay commited to your sleeping schedule, take it seriously. Find some balanced ways to deal with the stress and as far as isolation, you can always talk to me :) it wont feel like a big difference and you'll still have hella episodes but I know I find peace in the fact that I'm trying. It makes me feel in control...everyday without a full on breakdown is a win for me and damn right I take all the credit for it.
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Atomic_Erich:@OurLittleDustyn I ended up getting burger and tater tots. It was tasty.im now fueled up and ready to rock.
MiniMariko: rough housing with my sister. It's really like we never grew up.
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PREMIUM: RT Ggeist: is it wrong I find this kinda hot
PREMIUM: @MiniMariko pics or it didn't happen.
PREMIUM: Honestly, I'm just gonna keep tweeting that @ ppl. Eventually I'm gonna run into someone who's about that life.
Edited by user 05 September 2017 10:52:44(UTC)
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OurLittleDustyn: @atomic_erich I just paid for a damn pizza, Hess!!
JoshuaGrimmie > Coke
Ah, the weather only gets to me sometimes but it seems to be only when it's overcast. Makes me a tad depressive. I didn't even notice it, I thought it was how everyone reacted to dull weather but Johnny pointed it out to me and said "there's glum and then there's you" 😂 Thanks for all the help and advice. I do think I've got a somewhat healthy and decent grasp on my disorder but we never truly control it. It's always there, waiting to fuck us over. Stress is my biggest battle. With this presidency? I'm popping pills at all hours 😂 In all seriousness though,
the state of the world really doesn't help with the mania. Even speaking out against it, as I do, I'm always met with more backlash than most people and sometimes that can set me off. I joke about it now but when I got hacked and "stuff" got out there, my mind went offline completely. When I came around, my dining room was pretty much destroyed and my hands were bloody. It was my own blood, injuring myself when smashing up plates but I freaked at the moment, thinking that I hurt someone. |
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Atomic_erich:@OurLittleDustyn oh I can eat that too. I got the hunger. MiniMariko:@PREMIUM cameras are too common.we hired a courtroom artist. So here's an artist rendering. |
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Coke > JoshuaGrimmie
No problem. I love how I'm giving you all this advice and playing like I have any idea what the fuck I'm doing 😂 I think the state of the world is taking a toll on everyone's mental health...the people who aren't affected are either not paying attention or seriously downplaying what's happening. Oh, and then you have the horrible sadistic fascist bigots who are enjoying every moment of our misery...ugh. I'm so sorry that you got hacked. The fact that people would invade your personal privacy like that is disgusting and beyond fucked up. When that video of my man & I got leaked I truly couldn't have cared less. I addressed it in a tweet and then deleted social media off of my phone. That was almost 3 or 4 years ago and I'm still not as active as I used to be. If the things that take place on this app drive you to black out and have an episode....don't be scared to back away and take breaks from it every now and then. Social media is toxic, I unplug when things get out of hand. Of course that's easy for me, I'm not attached to it at all. It's gotta be so hard for you as you're probably used to being super active on Twitter. Just know that you shouldn't have to put up with any of the online hate thrown your way and it's trash of ppl to expect you to. When the Netizens get out of pocket? Uninstall this shit, fam.
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