"Right now we're just trying to figure out the right format to do it in. It should be He was definitely not trying to create a show just to embarrass peers in the industry, but he wanted to have more intelligent, in-depth conversations about music and the overall process. If he hosted a show and it became another sensationalized tabloid fodder for every person on social media, then he would feel like he was doing a disservice to the craft he loves so much.

"Phew, thank god you haven't googled me. There's some pretty wild stuff out there about me." Whenever he met somebody new, it was one of those things where he never truly knew exactly how much they knew about him prior, or rather how much they thought they picked up from google searches that lead you down a rabbit hole. "I respect that. That's all you can do. That FCA performance was fantastic. It was tough to follow that up, in a lot of ways," he commented jokingly with a laugh. "Now, I haven't googled you, but if I'm not mistaken, don't you already have an actual bone out there for the faceless folks on the internet?" He raises an eyebrow, smacking his forearm against his hand, insinuating on that infamous picture of Joshua at the beach while chuckling.

"There will always be another Ryan Ross Hernandez or Joshua Grimmie down the pipeline, not in the sense that they will be carbon copies of us, more so meaning that in ten years there will be another confident, outspoken kid in his twenties that will get people talking and they will have an issue with that. The format of doing it might change slightly but the cycle will continue. How I see it, as long as you don't have piece of shit conservative opinions, you have the freedom to say whatever the hell you want, but the music you are creating better have some merit to it." He paused for a moment, taking a quick sip of the scotch, savoring the delicious liquid gold. "You can't be outspoken and make shitty music, that doesn't work." He laughed, bringing the glass up to his lips once again. "See, you already have a more refined palate than you think. You gave me scotch at 22 and I would have been coughing my lungs out."

"I think I have a better idea of who won't be on, more than who will be at this point. Once you take out everyone that I've had sex with, the number of potential guests drops drastically." Ryan laughed and shook his head. He has dated plenty of women and enjoyed having plenty of sex, which he didn't consider to be something that warranted him being villainized for it.

"Wait, you are not in the left wing cult already? I'll send you an invite." He laughed, shaking his head at the crazy things that would be coming out these days if you are outspoken against Trump and his nutjob supporters. Ryan nods his head slightly as he hears him talk about his performance, it was something that he was proud of once it was all said and done, regardless of the liberal Hollywood stereotypical that he may now fall under. "Hopefully once things settle, I should be back on the road this time next year. I'll be sure to get you tickets to one of the shows so you can get the full Ryan Ross Hernandez experience." He stated sarcastically, rolling his eyes slightly at the mention of himself in third person. "You know, you have a deal on that one. That's your domain. I'm sure your boyfriend is a very happy man. I'll try to save my nudes leaking for another day once your dick is not getting all the attention." Ryan laughed, thinking for a moment about he has not had any hiccups like that in his own life yet at least.

"Write a chorus about your pick-up truck and missing your blonde white girlfriend and you got yourself a number one song in the country charts!" He exclaimed with a chuckle, finding that even in just playing around Joshua had one hell of a voice, definitely a category where he felt Grimmie surpassed him in. "You know, I went back and forth when it came to me singing faggot on In Hate We Trust. I hate the term and I tried to change it to something else, but I wanted to keep the experience authentic. I'm glad nobody took that the wrong way from all I can tell with the overall message of the song. Although, I'm sure there is at least one person out there canceling me on Twitter for it." He took another sip of his drink, chuckling at Joshua talking about his 21st birthday concoction he had. "I think my 21st was just a ton of Long Island iced teas. Not as colorful, but it will still get you fucked up I must say."

“These days, I’m pretty sure I can be like five miles away from someone and there will already be stories about how I fucked them. I’m proud of what I’m packing, but I’m not that talented unfortunately.” Ryan laughed, assuming that Joshua was create about how things will go. It’s just become an easy assumption to tie him into sleeping with or dating someone. “I’m pretty sure that I complimented your performance at the FCAs, immediately after someone wrote a story about how I’ve started dating men ‘cause I worked my way through all the women in the industry.” It was always crazy to him how outrageous some of these stories would get just for the sake of getting hits online.

He thought of inviting his peers who were fond of his music to his concerts as a small gesture of appreciation for enjoying his work. “You might in for a special treat too. It took me over twenty years, but sounds like next year might be the first stadium tour I do. I think I’ve finally let myself be convinced that instead of playing six nights in a row at Madison Square Garden, I could just play two nights at Citi Field.” He chuckled, finding the idea of playing a stadium for his style of performing a strange occurrence, but if there was the demand his management felt like it just made more sense logistically. While he had performed one-off stadium shows in major cities in the past, he always showed resistance on the idea of doing a full tour at such venues. “So that’s how a Calvin Klein deal works? Damn. I’ve been going about endorsement deals all wrong,” he states with a small laugh. “It’s a double edged sword kind of, isn’t it? If your naked picture is out there and millions have seen it, it’s already common knowledge. If you don’t have such photo-op out there, you’re asked how the fuck have you slept with so many people. You can never win in the court of public opinion.” He mused aloud, knowing well that there was no pleasing the people who already had their mind’s made up about you.

Ryan covered his face with his hand, chuckling. “Ellie-Grace, yeeeeeah. She’s a sweet and talented young woman. That’s all I will say about her.” While his reputation painted him as this serial heartbreaker, he tried his best to not speak openly about women he was at one point involved with because he did have respect for all of them regardless on how things ended or how they felt towards him these days. “Thanks for that. I’m just a natural over-thinker and I don’t want an awful word like that to be what people take from the overall message of the song. I know my era being a teenager in the 90s, that word was thrown around so carelessly. In high school kids would get beat up just for dressing a certain way or listening to music that was deemed ‘gay’. It makes me sick ‘cause I know all those assholes now have kids and they are teaching them the same cycle of hate.” He sighed out. It was a subject that frustrated him. In so many ways it felt like half of this country was just giving into their own hate and prejudice be it if it was tied to race, sexual orientation, religion, or gender.

“Ah, fuck it. You eat your expensive seafood however you please, Grimmie. I’m sure you two compliment each other well, regardless of your Jersey ways.” He said with a laugh, smacking Joshua softly on his shoulder. Ryan looks down at the small remains of his drink and takes one final sip to clear the glass. “Yeah, I’ll take another drink. Dealer’s choice this time around.”

Ryan chuckled at the banter they were having about each other’s nether regions, both having their known reputations out in the public eye. “I don’t kiss and tell these days, but there is a good reason why I have dated so many people. It’s not all my dreamy eyes and charming personality.” He explained sarcastically before laughing himself. It was a lighthearted, joking conversation which he welcomed. After so many years of every word he said in an interview or concert being analyzed by every music publication or tabloid outlet, he welcomed these safe spaces where he could just shoot the shit. “And if I were seeing men, the bisexual version of me would be trying to fuck you. You were born in the 90s, that’s right where my sweet spot is in who I sleep with the last few years.” He shrugged his shoulders while grinning, self-aware enough to know that even as he goes further into his forties he has yet to date anyone in their thirties or older.

If there was one thing Ryan hoped he never lost with himself is still getting excited and nervous about what he did for a living. He knew only very few could make it in this industry at the level he had achieved and a much less number who have been able to do it for twenty years. “Honestly, I still get nervous every time before I step on a stage. It’s never come second nature for me because I want to try to make it a memorable experience each time. The idea of performing for four or five months straight in football stadiums is insane.” He listened as Joshua explained his own particular challenges with touring, something that he knew thanks to his latest single would have to deal with himself. “Yeah, I get that. I’m sure some of those same fuckers were protesting outside of my house after I performed at the FCAs.” He paused for a moment, rolling his eyes at the idea of someone feeling such hate and toxic patriotism to target individuals who have different values than their own. “I guess I’m in the same boat now. My manager has been talking about having heightened security for the tour and all that, especially depending on the direction this country takes in November.”

He raised an eyebrow at the prospect of getting some Calvin Klein thanks to Grimmie’s endorsement deal. “Shit, am I at the level where I will be getting Joshua Grimmie approved underwear? Send over whatever size you wear. And if you include any preowned ones I will sell them on the internet. I’m sure there are some creeps who will pay some good money for that.” He chuckled, knowing well that at this point of his career Grimmie likely had some fans who would do some pretty crazy things to possess something he had worn. “If we were talking about another one of my exes, I would totally believe that. I don’t think Ellie-Grace hates my guts, at least not as much as some others.” He laughed softly. He was sure some of his exes had some pent up anger towards him for one reason or another and he understood that. He was not one to try to stay friends with an ex after their time ended together.

“South Korean huh? You and I do have our similarities.” He let out with a scoff and laugh. “Shit Grimmie, do you know who you are talking to? I have been a professional drinker for almost as long as you’ve been born. Music, sex, and alcohol are my favorite things in this world in that order.” He commented with a laugh. “I’ll take whatever you typically drink on a Friday night out. No matter how colorful or Jersey-esque it is.”

“Tell me about it. You’re talking to the fucking expert at that shit. I swear to god it feels like I’m more famous for who I’ve dated more than my damn music career,” he said with a soft scoff. He never understood the appeal people had over a celebrity’s love life. He knew aspects of it were still very prevalent in 2020, but at least he was not getting attacked by paparazzi’s or on TMZ every other night for leaving some LA hot spot with god knows who. Ryan laughed at Joshua’s joke about how he would reach orgasm if they had a sexual relationship. Despite being raised in a town where homophobia and toxic masculinity ran wild, especially when he was a teenager, he never picked up any of those traits himself. “Can you imagine the sex appeal there would be on Joshua Grimmie and Ryan Ross Hernandez fucking? That’s like a liberal wet dream right there. I can almost hear Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez calling us to play at her fundraiser.” He laughed, knowing even a hint of such thing happening would truly break the internet given each of their reputations.

He listened carefully as Joshua spoke of his own mental health issues. He was no stranger to such having been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder six years ago and having bouts of depression on and off during most of his adult life. “I’ve been there man, unfortunately I can reate to that. Some ten years ago I would always go on stage with a Xanax in my pocket. Most of the time I wouldn’t even take them, it’d be more so for the comfort of ‘hey, if I feel like I’m about to freak the fuck out in front of tens of thousands people, I have this to help.’ I’ve realized that the best concerts I’ve played are the ones where I get out of my own way.” For the longest time, Ryan had this fear that he would perform a terrible concert and his career would be over in an instant. Now that he felt like his feet were more cemented with regards to his place in music, the had become more of an afterthought. “I have no idea where I’m even going to be on election night, if I’ll be in LA or Montana or somewhere else entirely. Wherever it is I need plenty of alcohol, win or lose.” He stared up at the ceiling, letting his head lean back for a moment. It was a general concern he had for what the future of this country would be after the election. “I halfheartedly hope that In Hate We Trust is still number one by then, just so people who don’t actively seek out my music still hear the message. Also, more money, baby!” He remarked the last sentence sarcastically with a laugh, knowing that he was making no money himself off that single.

“I appreciate the underwear, my guy. Twenty years and I have yet to get an endorsement deal like that. You’re clearly ahead of the game already. I still have to pay for all my undergarments.” He chuckled, not really one to accept every endorsement deal that came his way anyways. “I think it’s the abs too, man. I didn’t have those when I was 22. Shit, I still don’t have them! If we are ever into the same lady, I don’t like my odds. You got that charm under a slightly better looking frame.” He laughed just giving him a hard time, genuinely enjoying the ease their conversation was flowing in. “Well that’s a real relief. I already have to worry about like a dozen different women who could be writing the next number one hit about my dick or something, and not in a positive light.” He paused for a moment, shaking his head. “Speaking of Ellie-Grace though, I would buy said track if she released it,” he remarked with another laugh.

“You know Serenity Scott? We went out on date a long time ago, just once. I kinda got myself into another mess, so things didn’t go anywhere between us. I ran into her backstage at the FCAs and we just texted back and forth for a weeks after. We went out on another date again last week and it was fun.” He paused himself, looking over at Joshua who was the first person he had really told about whatever was bubbling between the two outside of his team. “We’ll see what happens. Maybe it’s time for good old Ryan Hernandez here to settle down and ride into the sunset.” He stayed with a smile before chuckling. “Or maybe not and I just keep fucking around until I die. Who knows?” He shrugged his shoulders with a grin. He had become a lot less concern about the things that he couldn’t control or force upon himself. Whatever happened in his love life, he was just going to go with what felt right. “You know and your fucking lobster rolls, Grimmie. I have a buddy who owns a good seafood spot down in Florida, some of the best rolls I’ve ever had. I’ll have to take you there some day.” Ryan had reached that point of his career and life where he seemed like he always knew somebody for something. He had plenty of connections both in the entertainment industry and outside of it. “Jägerbombs? Well, fuck. I have nothing else going on tonight. Let’s drink like I’m back in high school. This Boston kid used to crush those at house parties.” Despite his age, Ryan still felt youthful and full of life which he was thankful of because things may be a lot different for him had he been at this stage in life still single and unable to enjoy the simpler things in life.

"As someone who now has both attached himself, I can tell you they both fucking suck. I can't wait for my next interview where I'm asked about my political views and my love life, then only spend thirty seconds getting to talk about music. It sounds like a blast." He rolled his eyes, rolling the sleeves of his denim jacket up to just above his forearm. Ryan slaps Joshua shoulder and pretends to fan him with his hand as he speaks. "You were a teenager like a few years ago, you little creep! Were you sliding into my DMs too?" He asked playfully as he laughed, shaking his head.

"Anxiety is a bitch. It's so unpredictable. I've had times where I'm at a peak of happiness then some thought just creeps into my mind and ruins the rest of the day for me. It's shitty. In a lot of ways it just feels like a losing battle, but what can you do? I fully believe you can't be a good artist without having some screws off up in there." He shrugs his shoulders, pointing at the side of his head. He fully believed that every respected songwriter had to have some deep trauma or mental illness to truly master their art. It was awful to think that way, but he was just going off of personal experience. "I'm probably going to turn my phone off on election night. I don't think I have the mental capacity to handle all the shit that will be hitting the preverbal fan as that night progresses, regardless of which side is winning. Everyone will always be upset about something." After so many years in the industry, he knew well that it was almost a losing battle when it came to sharing your opinions on things, in no way will everyone ever be happy with you. They will always have an issue if you say too much or not enough.

"I tried for a while there when I was your age to have the abs and all that. Now, at almost 43 years old, I'm just going for toned. As long as I can keep all of this in one piece, I'm good. I got the height, I got the hair, I got the tattoos, the vibrant natural charisma. I'm good with that." He ran a hand from his chest down to his midsection before chuckling, glancing down at Joshua's full abs and rolling his eyes. "You son of a bitch. It's probably a good thing I don't look like that because I already have issues trying not to fuck every attractive woman I see. If I looked like that, I would never not be having sex. I might as well just switch to porn at that point." He laughed, taking the drink that was handed to him.

"We shall see where it all goes. I'll admit my track record with relationships is less than ideal. I mean, I'm not going out there trying to be an asshole or hurt people, but I can definitely be a jerk sometimes. I haven't really dated in a few years though, so I'm excited to see what happens. I'm keeping it low-key for now. I'm trying to avoid being thrown under the spotlight right away." He explained, knowing that dating with the public eye constantly on you made building any sort of relationship that much more difficult. Ryan was also not one to complain about such a thing either since he could always avoid dating people that were also in the industry and live a bit more of a normal life but he did not want to limit himself either. "Thanks man. I love loving someone and all that, but I also throughly enjoy having sex with women I barely know. It is very relaxing to me. It's like therapy in a way, but with less talking and crying." Ryan chuckles, raising his glass up towards Joshua before bringing it closer. "Fuck it, bottoms up. Time to test my liver." He brings the drink up to his lips and quickly chugs the contents in the glass, sighing out as he sets the glass down and curling up his facial expression before laughing. "Wooo! This is taking me back to my days as a rookie drinker."

Given how long Ryan had been a known figure, he was not surprised by receiving compliments and attention from both sexes. Despite as conceited as it may sound and no matter how much self-deprecating humor he threw out there to hide it, he knew he looked good especially these days given his age. That was part of the reason why he was not as worried anymore about being single and in his forties. While he was straight, he never had an issue with bantering and joking around with other men full of compliments. “You know Joshua, I don’t think I will ever try to find those messages for the sake of our friendship and mutual respect. Unless, I wanna pull off a performance like yours and pull out the receipts as ya’ll say.” He laughed and used air questions for the last bit before shaking his head.

Ryan listened closely as Joshua spoke of his mental health issues in addition to the industry as a whole as it pertained to the matter. He had vaguely heard of a suicide attempt but he was not about to bring it up now, regardless of the subject matter. It was not his place to do so. “I completely agree with you, man. Anybody can write a heartbreak song. That’s easy. I have hundreds of them, but when you can kind of peel the surface back with yourself about those things that affect our daily lives, it’s almost as if you unlocked this an entire well of new ideas to explore. It sucks. There’s nothing fun about it. It’s just one of those things where you figure out how to manage it and hopefully get to a point where it no longer paralyzes you. A time where you can use it as inspiration for yourself.” He certainly did not have a bulletproof system on how to manage mental illnesses as an artist or just human being, but he figured out ways to not let his problems consume every minute of every day of his life anymore.

If he hadn’t pointed it out, Ryan would have never noticed the sleepy eye he mentioned. It was vaguely noticeable to him but definitely was not some sort of weird, off-putting feature. “Pfft, a kinda sleepy eye? Shit, I think most people would take that if they could have the rest of the stuff you got going on for yourself. Again, thank god I didn’t look like that at 22. I would have literally fucked my career over.” He chuckled and clapped his hands together.

He could tell that the demeanor changes slightly as the conversation shifts to their sex lived and partners they’ve had. It was a subject that Ryan always felt comfortable talking about in intimate settings, sometimes a bit too much where someone may get offended or react negatively. Over the years he has tried to manage how much he shares but the combination of loose lips and alcohol were never a great tandem. He taps Joshua’s arm a few times and shakes his head with a grin, trying to get him to not overthink his revelation. “Hey, nothing wrong with that. I’d say it’s more respectful to be the guy who isn’t having sex with everyone than the one that is. There’s a certain restraint that I can appreciate. By all means, that’s the way to go. I’m not the role model for relationships or sexual endeavors whatsoever.” He did not reveal how many partners he has had mainly due to the fact that he does not entirely remember. In recent years he has a good idea of that number but ten or fifteen years back, he didn’t know how often he was engaging in one night stands and short flings while on tour. “Grimmie got a handy at a party? Damn, you little devil.” He laughed, not thinking that the 22 year old would reveal such a fact about himself. “Yeah, fuck it why not. Let’s do another one of this Jersey delicacy.”

It had been about four or five weeks since their initial meeting. That night also consisted in heavy drinking and shooting the shit for most of it. It was wild to sit down and think of all that has happened in that short span of time in each of their lives. Ryan put a new single out to the world that was highly personal and revealed the death of his mother, which had placed him in an uneasy space emotionally. Despite his own problems, he was trying his hardest to be available for his friends. He was aware that in the past he could be selfish and caught up in his own dilemmas, where it can easily be perceived as neglecting behavior towards those close to him.

Ryan carefully takes the glass of whiskey that is handed to him before relaxing his back against the sofa. He had a meeting in New York City the following day to flesh out the details of the show he was hosting and producing, so perhaps not the best call to be getting wasted tonight but if it helped Joshua kind of get out of his own head for a bit he was going to do it to help him out. "Yeah, tell me about it. I have a flood of messages all over social media asking for us to collab." He rested his head back, tilting it to look over at Joshua. Even though Hernandez threw the idea out there on Twitter after the FCAs, he never thought it would become something people latched on to so quickly. There was now an anticipation built up for it. "Hah! We will see about that, you fucker." He chuckled before taking a sip of his drink, keeping the glass in his hand thereafter for easy access. "You should come out to my studio in Montana, we can throw out some ideas and see what sticks," he paused for a quick moment, taking another gulp of liquor down, "all else fails we can just get wasted in the wilderness." Ryan suggested with a laugh.

Even though he was feeling the amount of alcohol they have drank thus far, he was conscious enough to know what Joshua meant with his words. "I know... 2020, man. This year... it's a fucking downward spiral." He was not going to bring his own issues to the table, knowing damn well his friend had been struggling the last few weeks. "How-uh.. how have you been holding up on that end?" Ryan was aware of the relapse as he reached out to Joshua soon after he heard about it. While he's never personally dealt with a drug abuse issues, he knew it was a never-ending battle for those that fell into that hole.

OOC: Suspension of disbelief. Bars are opened. I'm tired of COVID ruining things. One of my Weekend boys is going to have a birthday party, damnit!

Spying Dallas at the urinal in the bar's restroom, Dustyn can't help but take the opportunity to mess with him. He's downed a few Guinness and is celebrating Oscar's birthday so he's feeling that buzz, making him extra playful tonight. "Fancy some fun in the stall, sweet cheeks?" Dustyn smacks Dallas' butt from behind and puts on a very gruff Southern accent. Mimicking voices and accents is one of Dustyn's many talents, freakishly so. Scott is still convinced the little guy is actually an alien, perfectly studying and assimilating accents. He knows he can easily fool a tipsy Dallas. Dustyn then chuckles and reveals his true identity, using the urinal next to Dallas. "Billy has left. Him and Deneil just crawled into the back of a cab. You're safe to come out now." Dustyn knows that Billy isn't his husband's favourite person. Truth be told, he understands why, especially judging by tonight. Billy was cranked up to 100. He arrived with a drink in him and had clearly popped something too. He was extremely vulgar and incessant. Even Riley "golden child, pacifist, stay above the fray" Hamilton had to tell him to shut the fuck up a couple of times. "Y-your husband's very lucky, by the way..." Dustyn smirks and nods down at Dallas' member before giggling, finishing up and moving over to the sinks.

Dustyn starts to wash his hands while continuing to chat away to Dallas. "So, you think we should invite Billy over for Christmas and my birthday then?". Dustyn chuckles and looks in the mirror to see his husband's reaction, knowing fine well it's going to be a treat.

Dustyn tilts his head to the side to examine Dallas' t-shirt. His husband always liked her but since meeting Dustyn, the obsession has grown tenfold. No wonder a lot of Juneau fans despise Dustyn. He has broken this man. "Wow. Her tenth best album. Rock on!" Dustyn says sarcastically with a roll of his eyes as if he doesn't own like 20 different copies and has a True Blue promotional CD stand in his music room. He shakes his head and chuckles while listening to Dallas express his dislike for Billy. As much as he's quick to defend him, Dustyn is well aware of how grating Billy can be and understands Dallas' stance. "Pretty sure that Billy said if he should die, he wants you and I to look after Daniel." Dustyn dries his hands and playfully winks in the mirror. He's a very paternal person but Daniel Khan? Now THERE'S someone he wouldn't miss. The kid harms small animals. 95% chance that boy will kill someone in the future.

Dustyn jumps and giggles at the playful smack before turning around and embracing his man, wrapping his arms around his waist and looking up at him with that charming, drunken Irish glaze in his eyes. "Nah, Christmas will be a nice, quiet and cosy one. Me, you, the boys and the kitties. No distractions. Well, aside from the annual awkward phone call from my dad." Being Dustyn and Jesus' birthday, Mr Blue always phones to awkwardly and reluctantly send his regards every Christmas. Frosty the Snowman has more warmth in his balls then Dustyn's father does in his words.

Dustyn moves closer into the embrace, lowering his voice and looking over Dallas' shoulder to make sure the coast is clear. "I was thinking..." Dustyn clears his throat and looks down at Madonna on Dallas' top, plucking up the courage to make his suggestion. "Since we've got a hotel room and don't have the boys tonight...maybe we could swap the pints for something...stronger?". Dustyn raises an eyebrow and gives Dallas a knowing smirk. It has been an age since he and Dallas last got high together so he's not sure if Dallas will jump at the idea or be totally over it.