It had been over six months since Ryan had been back to his home in LA, spending most of the fall and winter hibernating in his second home out in middle-of-nowhere Montana. With how deep he was years ago into all the good, bad, and ugly that this city has to offer, it was a necessary balance for him to have a place he can go and be as far removed from a big city as possible. Despite the home recording studio he had set-up in Montana, he felt it was a must to change locations for the next half of creating his LP. And selfishly for himself, he hoped the new scenery would help him be able to take his mind off the person who has been occupying space in it for months now. There weren't many instances in his life where he was taken aback by someone else's presence, but there was something about her that stuck with him.

Ryan had an affinity for the finer things in life and his house exhibited that. Located in the heart of Beverly Hills, a community where many of the whose who in the entertainment industry resided. The residence had a gated entrance with a gorgeous landscape of greenery leading to the front door. The decor inside was western inspired, somewhat minimal and spacious, but everything was immaculate about the space. This was the first time Joshua was coming over to his home and Ryan was looking forward to it. Their friendship had grown immensely over the last half year and perhaps talking to him will help Ryan sort his thoughts out.

Ryan checked his watch as he heard the doorbell before hearing Joshua announce himself in a fashion that really only he could. He catches a glimpse of him through the window and flicks him off before opening the door.“Keep your damn clothes on, Grimmie. Last time I saw you, you convinced me to get naked live on Instagram. That’s not happening again.” Ryan says with a smirk before embracing Joshua in a quick hug. You would think their twenty year age difference would be more noticeable but when they were in a room together, it was as if they had been friends for years rather than just a few months. “Good to see you, man,” he said before stepping back smiling.

He turned around and walked inside, assuming Josh will follow close behind him, the house catching plenty of natural light just before sunset with its floor to ceiling windows. He leads him to the living room, probably the most noticeable feature is the stunning view the room has of the pool outside and the LA canyons overlooking the city. There was a couch and lounge chairs that faced outside, along with another one going along the wall. “Have a seat, I’ll grab us some drinks.” Ryan pauses for a moment to look at Joshua. “Has your taste in alcohol gotten any better, mister big shot?” He teasingly asks him with a raised eyebrow.

“I’m pretty sure they shot a porno here one time with that same exact premise,” he states jokingly. While he did not boast about his wealth in an arrogant fashion, he had done well enough for himself to earn the right to such luxuries. Did a man living alone need a house with seven bedrooms? No, but it was lavish. “Shit, people still remember that flop?” Ryan said with a small laugh, running a hand through his hair. He had a strange relationship with “Traveling Tales”, feeling that it fell short of his past releases, despite any commercial success it had.

“Oh man, thank you!” He smiled at the nice gesture, admiring the box for a moment. “I’m sure the Jersey boy has never spent that much on liquor before.” He remarked with a chuckle, taking it to the full bar area he has on the opposite end of the living room. Ryan had cut back on drinking over the last few months. Not that he felt like he had a drinking problem, but just figured it was the wise move as he shifted gears to writing and recording an album. He returns with a beer in each hand, of course Ryan can’t just have some big label beer in his fridge, instead it is some hipster branded local craft beer. “So how the fuck have you been? Aside from taking over the damn world with that album.” He stated with a smirk as he handed him a beer and took a seat on the same couch. Ryan felt proud that his younger counterpart crafted such a brilliant second record, something that he himself couldn’t have done at that age with his debut record coming out when he was nearly twenty-four. “I know I already told you before. I’m not blowing smoke up your ass. That record is fantastic. You’ve set the bar extremely high, my friend.”

Sometimes he would find himself just staring out at the beautiful scenery outside his window and thinking back to everything that it took to get to this point. There would be no mansion on the hill or twenty million dollar watch collection without all the years of work touring and recording nonstop. He was happy to hear that Joshua was in a good space mentality, knowing that rough path he had to get to where he is today. Ryan knew it all too well how some foolish mistakes could run a career or life off the cliff, so he took up the role as a friend and confide for Grimmie without hesitation. “No, you’ve earned it. By all means boast away. You have a goddamn rocket strapped to your back right now, this is only the start. It’s only going to continue to grow from here. I’m happy for you.” He leaned back and gave Joshua a small nod before raising his beer and taking a sip.

He laughs at the joke, shaking his head. “I’ve been behaving myself actually! I haven’t hooked up with anyone in like three months.” While that was not saying much for most people, it was a feat for Ryan to keep it in his pants for that long. Granted, it was easier to stay that way when he did not have all of LA’s temptations around him as he does now. That fact worried him. “You know me, man. I’m best when I keep my head down and stay away from social media.” Ryan remarked with a small shrug of his shoulders. He knew if he wasn’t careful he would slip right back into that persona that gets him into hot water. “Mostly just been writing and recording a lot. I felt like for a while there I lost that desire to write but those creative juices have been on a roll lately.” He paused for a moment to take a swig of the beer. “I was in the studio today with your friend... Ellie-Grace,” he tries to say it nonchalantly but a genuine shit-eating grin is displayed at the mention of her name, bringing his free hand up to discreetly cover it.

He perfectly understands what Joshua means when he talks about hitting that sweet spot of his career where pretty much anything that has your name attached to it will do well. “That’s fucking awesome, man. Enjoy it. Bask in it. Life moves pretty fast but you gotta recognize and take in these moments. This is what you’ll carry with you as you get older.” Ryan knew it was a whole combination of things that Joshua was feeling happy about and there was truly nobody else in his mind that deserved it more than him. “Trust me, I get that. It’s impossible not to have some thoughts here and there about what the next project will look like but you have plenty of time to figure that out. Right now you just gotta appreciate this moment, Grimmie.”

Ryan chuckles at Joshua’s remark of him behaving these days. “Eh, feels weird to say. I feel like I haven’t gone this long without sex since like... I was twenty or something.” He takes a sip of his drink, leaning his head against the back of the couch. He realizes that he said three months for being clean, which is shorter than when he last saw him. It wasn’t a fact he felt the need to dwell on at this point, especially given the great state of mind Grimmie seems to be in right now. “Yeah, yeah. Sue me. Literally everything has a sexual appeal to it these days. A light breeze can get me going.” He says somewhat sarcastically. He laughs a little at his reaction when he mentions Ellie-Grace. “Yeah, nobody but you knows that we were in the studio together. I asked her to keep it private, so I assume that’s why she didn’t mention it. It’s just been professional though.”

It was not secret that a google search of Ryan and Ellie-Grace would bring up the history they had together some ten years ago at this point. He produced her debut record and instantly rumors started flooding the internet that he had some kind of romantic relationship with the then 18-year old Ellie-Grace. The news was tabloid fodder for months. “You know there’s a past there between her and I. A messy past at that. We never really spoke in like nine years aside from pleasantries when we ran into each other at events or whatnot. Only recently did we get back in contact,” he explained, pausing to take a longer swig from the bottle. “And I think I might be in trouble.”

He loved hearing the overall excitement Joshua showed each time he spoke about music. It was something both could relate to perfectly. Despite any drama they may have in their lives, music was their safe havens. “You’ll be fine. You have stuck to your roots, Jersey boy. Take my advice and just don’t ever move to LA. This place is the fucking worst when you’re at the height of your career. I nearly blew mine up thanks to this damn place.” Ryan smirked and nodded his head at the fact of them working together. Both fanbases were rather rabid about the prospect of it. “Who would have thought that just an innocent tweet last summer was going to kickstart this need to have us make a song. Your fans are gonna fucking hate me after I release my next album and you’re not on it. Hashtag cancel R-R-H.” He stated with a soft laugh.

“You fucking bastard. Rub it in, why don’t you? Biggest artist in the world, number one album, in love, getting fucking laid. You have it all, don’t you?” He remarked sarcastically rolling his eye as he smacked Joshua on the chest. Ryan raised an eyebrow at the mention of an upcoming music video, figuring this was his chance to tease his friend back. “Ah yeah, is this for that song with Layla? You cheeky son of a bitch. You gotta tell me about that too, you know.” He winks at him, playing up the rumors of something possibly happening between them. “Alright, this just has to stay between us. I know you are friends with EG, but you can’t share any of this with her.” He remarked before kicking back the remains of his beer and setting it down on the wooden coffee table.

“I’m in trouble because I’m starting to really like this girl,” he says quietly, but just loud enough so Joshua can catch it. “And this isn’t some crap where I just want to sleep with her to relive the past or whatever. No, it’s not about that. Well, I mean I do want to sleep with her, she’s beautiful but...” Rarely did Ryan ever feel like he couldn’t articulate his thoughts, if anything he was known for oversharing. Right now it was as if he was carefully choosing each word not wanting to be taken the wrong way. “It’s no secret the type of guy that I am. It has been a very long time since I’ve genuinely developed feelings for someone.” It was still strange for him to be saying these words aloud, more so to someone who he knew was a friend to both of them. “She might not hate my guts but I doubt she’d exactly be interested in me after everything that’s happened. She’s smart. It would be suicide for her to get involved with me. For fuck sakes I’ve dated some of her friends.”

“More power to you, my friend. I absolutely hated where I grew up. I was counting down the days until I could finally leave.” He remembers when he was eighteen and packed as many of his belongings as he could into a suitcase and moved to New York City, staying in some real shitholes as he tried to claw his way to a record deal. “That’s why I am fully confident in that you won’t go through the same growing pains that I experienced. You won’t let yourself be consumed by this crazy machine we call fame.” He assured his friend with a smile, knowing well that he would have wanted an experienced counterpart of his to sit him down and tell him this, perhaps then he wouldn’t have had to deal with all the little fires he set for himself. “Seems like we already do as we please anyways. Suck it cancel culture!”

He chuckled and rolled his eyes as Joshua went on about his sexual adventures. “Please shut up, Grimmie. I am going to throw your ass in the pool if you keep bringing up the fact you fucked last night.” Ryan listened to him explain his upcoming collaboration with Layla, curious at the risky subject matter that it seems to display in the video. “Shit, I’m sold on it.” He waited to see if he was going to go into details about his dealings with Layla, but figuring it was fair to stick to one subject at a time. Ryan was curious to hear his side of things when it came to that.

“Ugh, wipe that smile off your face. Yes, Ryan Ross Hernandez is human after all. Maybe one day I’ll also get married and have babies. Who knows.” He stated with a smirk, pushing Joshua slightly in his seat. Hearing him speak about Ellie-Grace did put Ryan slightly at ease. She can’t have hard feelings towards him then agree to work with him. Perhaps the feelings could even be mutual, or at the very least she may not hate the idea of them actually giving it a shot for real this time. “Eh, she’s going to be thirty next year right? That makes her slightly less attractive now. Thanks.” He jokingly states, albeit he has never actually dated a woman in her 30’s. As was the case with most of his flings and relationships alike, they did still have a fifteen year age difference. “Maybe you’re right. I’m just stressed out about it. I reached out to her casually but the more I’ve seen her and the more we talk, the more I can’t shake this off. This girl is stuck in my head.” Ryan makes a gagging noise after his remark, pretending to puke at how soapy he sounds right now. “You know her better than I do. Has she been seeing anyone recently? Is there some guy that I need to call in a favor to have him disappear?” He asks genuinely interested in hearing if he knows anything, but in classic Ryan style tying a joke into it so he doesn’t come off as too desperate.

“I honestly don’t care just no feet on the coffee table. I paid sixty grand for that table and I rather not have Joshua Grimmie’s stinky feet smell on it.” He says with a smirk, patting his friend in return. “And don’t start playing footies with me, you creep.”

“That’s fair. You did grow up in Jersey after all. There’s only two good things that have ever come out of that cesspool; Bruce Springsteen and Joshua Grimmie.” He stated while grinning. He did have an admiration for people who could stay in check with their roots and build their adult lives in their place of birth. Ryan had not been back home in over three years since his mom passed away, feeling like that was the last connection he had left there. “The fact that you were listening to my interviews ten years ago as a teenager is terrifying. I hope you took in my music closer to heart rather than the crap spewing out of my mouth during interviews.” He laughed softly, thinking for a moment how he definitely did not carry himself with a squeaky clean reputation to be considered a role model.

He buries his head into the palm of his hands as Joshua continues on poking away at him and his dry spell. Ryan could be described as a borderline sex addict, although never diagnosed as such. “You’re such a son of a bitch. Kicking a man while he’s down. You must feel real proud of yourself.” He grinned as he heard more details about the music video. He was not exactly surprised to hear that Joshua was going to be seen bare assed. This guy had no problem stripping down, which by all means more power to him. “I think you’ll be fine about showing your ass and stimulating sex. You will still be welcomed to Thanksgiving. Hell, they should come to expect outrageous acts like that from you.” He remarked with a laugh.

“That you’re not wrong about. I might as well go by some new moniker if I start writing sappy songs about love and having babies. Gross.” He said faking shivers as he chuckled. For better or worse he had never written an album when he was in a positive or happy headspace. He was a firm believer that misery was what brings forth the best art, so somewhere deep in his mind he had reservations about being happy and in a healthy stable relationship. On the other hand, he has accomplished so much in his life that falling in love, getting married, and having children seemed like one of the few things he had left to do. “I’m not this cynical asshole, you know? I think a part of me has always wanted to settle down. The idea of being sixty and dating some twenty-three year old model sounds repulsive to me. Now, this isn’t me suggesting that I think Ellie-Grace is “the one” or anything like that. I don’t know. In some ways, buried deep down, I always felt like her and I never got a fair shot at seeing what there might be between us.” He understood what Joshua said about Ellie being focused on her work rather than spending time dating. In the traditional sense of the word, he hasn’t dated anyone in years, mostly keeping his romantic affairs to one night stands and short term flings with the opposite sex. “I mean, poor girl. Once you’ve had a taste of good ol’ Ryan Ross Hernandez, is it difficult to come back from that and return to the dating scene.” He said aloud followed by a quick chuckle.

“Have I ever told you how your generation is fucking weird? Just keep those feet to yourself now. Once my career halts, I may change my mind and start using you for your feet to make a quick buck.” Ryan listened carefully to what Joshua said about Ellie. His words reasoned with him. There was no reason she would be working with him and being vulnerable with what they were writing about if a part of her still felt like she couldn’t move past their prior history. “To be perfectly honest with you, I’m most worried about myself. I can be self-destructive. I know how to take a good thing and fuck it up. There’s this part of my brain where I feel like if things are going well, I need to blow it up. So maybe she is interested and we can build something. I can’t hurt her again,” he paused for a second to gather his thoughts. “On the other hand, if there is nothing there, I’m probably going to fall back into my old ways. Excessively drink, have a bunch of empty sex with strangers. Hell, she’s probably the main reason why I’m not doing all that shit right now. I don’t want her to see me in that light.” Ryan does not let things get silent for too long, in a swift motion standing up and pointing at their respective empty bottles. “Alright, we need more beers while we talk about our lady problems.”

Edited by user 21 February 2021 23:45:42(UTC)  | Reason: Not specified

“Clearly there’s not a lot of competition coming out of that shithole, New York wannabe state.” Ryan had serious issues with Jersey, honestly most of his commentary about it was just to give Joshua shit about his birthplace. Before meeting him most of his experiences in that state were minimal whenever he toured the area. It wasn’t exactly a place he would live in himself but at this point he was already pretty set about where he wanted his properties to be as he entered whatever this next phase of his life brings. “You’ll have to come visit next time I am in Montana. I know not many people in this industry have been out there, like shit there is not much to do, but it is an incredibly beautiful environment. It’s right where I need at this point of my life.” After buying his home up north nearly a decade ago, it had truly become a safe space for him whenever he wanted to remove any celebrity treatment from his plate. It was somewhere that he felt one day he could have a family in without dealing with all the LA bullshit 24/7.

While Ryan had a controversial past just like Joshua did, his incidents felt rather mild in comparison. Granted, most of the things that got him in any trouble was due to what he would say publicly and less about being caught naked on a beach or engaging in raunchy career moves. Although the elder musician was known for writing rather straightforward sexually charged songs. “You are a bad influence for getting people naked when you’re involved in anything, man. The closest thing I had to stripping down with you on Instagram was wearing some borat thong on a boat like twelve years ago. Not my proudest moment either.” He shared with a laugh, in a way understanding the whole feeling of being young and not giving a fuck. “I feel bad for Layla, honestly. This girl is just getting involved with you so early in her career. Does she know what she signed up for when you were dry humping her in front of a camera?” He questioned his younger friend with a chuckle, smacking his arm.

Ryan laughed as he went on about the fictional album he would create in the future once he was a father. “You seem to have that nurturing side to yourself. You have plenty of years to reach that point of your life though, trust me. I’m 43 years old and still single with no kids. Enjoy these years to the fullest before you have kids tying you down.” He smirked, thinking back to a time in his life where kids and a wife were the further thing in his mind about achieving. It was impressive to Ryan hearing him talk with such depth despite his age. As much as he can consider himself this intelligent and deep person, he likely would have not been able to have that rawness to himself back then. “You see, with everything you said, none of that truly terrified me at first. I had this like plan for me life that I developed when I was a teenager and somehow I achieved pretty much everything I wanted and then some. This place is a testament to that.” He explained, looking around at his lavish home. “It’s difficult because after so many years people will always have these preconceived notions about me. No matter the changes I make publicly or privately, someone will always think I’m this heartless bastard.” In the past Ryan was addicted with getting people to like him, a notion that has subsided in recent years, but there was always going to be a side to him that wanted to be well-received.

“You are on the weird side of the internet, my friend. I have no knowledge of any smut edits about us but I believe it. There are some people out there that have this fantasy about us being an item.” He chuckled at the idea, but knowing well that ever since their friendship began, hardcore fans of the two were going to muster up any crazy rumors about them. He listened carefully as Joshua explained his most recent stumble on his journey to get clean. “As I’ve told you before, I’m always here for you man. I don’t care where I am, you can reach out to me. I’ll always have your back with anything.” He was glad his friend had a good support system around him but he wanted to assure him that he could count on him too. Ryan found it endearing that Joshua had a boyfriend who cared about him and made him feel worthy. Admittedly, it was something that Ryan wanted, and did not have in a long time due to his lack of serious relationships in the last few years. “Funny enough, around that same time I kind of went into a bit of a bender myself. After I released that last single, it kind of brought back all these emotions I was suppressing after my mother’s death. I thought I was at the right headspace but it fucked me up. I don’t even care that it was a number one single.” While Ryan did not really experiment with drugs much aside from marijuana, his episodes typically meant drinking heavily and having plenty of sexual encounters with women he barely knew. These periods could last for days or weeks and it certainly was not a healthy way to deal with his problems.

There was more to it than met the eye when it came to himself and Ellie-Grace working together but he wanted to keep those details close to chest, instead using Joshua as a soundboard and confide for how he feels about her. “Thanks for the words of encouragement! That’s one guy I know I can outmatch as a husband, father, and general human being.” He stated with a grin, grabbing hold of their empty bottles to discard them. “So in this like fictional universe, if EG and I were to ever get married, do I kind of HAVE TO make you my best man? I mean I would at least hope to be a groomsman for you. Bare minimum. Maybe I’ll even sing a bit at your wedding.” Ryan remarked somewhat jokingly from the opposite side of the room as he grabbed them some new beers.

Ryan’s move to Montana nearly a decade ago was marked as a escape from a lot of controversy revolving around him at that time. A few stupid remarks in interviews, an on-again off-again relationship with Nadia Berry, rumored fling with Ellie-Grace, and a celebrity bubble around him that made him feel more like a socialite than an artist. He truly hated that and refused to step back into that frame of life. “You’re always welcome to visit whenever I’m out there. Everyone needs an escape from this. Fame can be a truly vicious animal. I know people like you and I will never complain publicly about it, we’re two successful, rich white guys... what do we have to bitch about? It’s just not natural to be in a position where everyone wants to know your each and every move.” Ryan was grateful for his life and the people who continuously supported him over the last two decades for him to maintain his position in this industry, but at times he wished he was born in a different generation where he could still do music for a living without paparazzi’s, social media, and this 24/7 internet machine constantly going.

“Sounds like you’ll have a fun time tonight searching those images up all by yourself.” Ryan teasingly said while shaking his head, knowing well that those images still existed and always will online. “You’re about as much of a saint as I am, buddy. We’re both cut from the same tree, I’m just objectively the more attractive one.” He added with a grin, patting Joshua on the shoulder as a sort of sarcastic consolation. “So what is actually going on with you two? You know you won’t get any judgment from me. I mean, if anything, I would be proud that I am such a great influence on my younger fans.” He remarked with a shrug and chuckle before taking his first sip from his second beer.

He sits back down near Joshua after handing him his beer, feeling a bit more relaxed than he was earlier, although he still had Ellie in his mind knowing she was still in town. “And this is why I’m not on social media much these days. Once you fall in that rabbit hole of mentions, there’s no getting out of it. According to that not so tender side, I’m fucking you and about fifty other people all at once. I’m not exactly sure how the math works but some of these kinky motherfuckers make it happen.” These days Ryan did not concern himself much about who the internet was partnering him with, no matter what he said or lack thereof, there was always going to be some folks that will paint him in whatever light they wanted to see him in. He nodded his head at him as he returned the same sentiment of where their friendship stood. “No need to apologize. Thanks, Joshua.” He paused for a second to sip on his beer before starting to speak again. “I’m doing better these days. I’m just focused on recording this fucking album. I think it’s going to surprise a lot of people.” He commented aloud, thinking to himself that any sort of baggage or problems he may be carrying right now, will be all worth it once the album was finished and out in the wild.

“Have any experience with how to get rid of a body discreetly? The babysitter kind of wanted to blow my cover, so.” He points out towards the pool with a smirk, jokingly touching upon Joshua’s earlier joke when he arrived. Ryan smiled as he went on about the prospective of a future wedding on both parts. It was still likely that Joshua could very well beat Ryan to the alter, despite his young age. “Why don’t we just wait and see how things go between Ellie and I before rushing into any crazy “what-if’s”? I think we should at least date for a while, maybe also see how she feels about me before jumping into all of that. Give her a say in the matter.” He stated laughing, unsure exactly what the future held but somewhat excited to see where things could go, for better or worse. “Hell, I might STILL be single at 60. I might very well be trying to fuck some of your female guests at your wedding. So I absolutely have to perform, that has always gotten me laid, no matter what.” He shared nonchalantly while grinning and enjoying a longer swig from his bottle.