Ryan couldn’t hold back a laugh upon hearing her flabbergasted reaction to his age and quick change to appear her usual kind and inoffensive self. There was a sense of comfort when she rubbed his shoulder. “Hey, I’m not offended whatsoever. I’ve fought the clock long enough. Right now I’m comfortable being in my forties. For an array of different reasons, I kind of wish you had met me now rather than in my early thirties.” He stated, although leaving his remark open ended. There were a lot of personality traits that he wish he had possessed back then that he held now, in addition to vices he has dropped since then. “The times have changed, Ellie-Grace. We don’t have to follow the pattern of our parents and have kids or get married when they did. Would it be ideal to have the ability to pause time and recognize the great moments in life as they happen? Absolutely. Unfortunately, life is just this constantly moving ferris wheel.” Without thinking about it, at some point as he spoke he placed a hand on her knee, not dissimilar to the same way she tried to assure him with her touch. Ellie-Grace was someone who he could spend hours talking to, which was commonplace even ten years earlier when they dated. He loved listening to her. Her voice carried weight in his mind. “Aww, that is the nicest thing I have ever heard. Thanks for always being the flattering kind, EG.” He remarked sarcastically before taking a sip from his glass. “We should create our own award show and implement all the changes we wish for. Granted, it may get to our heads and we make sure we win every other category.” He said while chuckling.
If either one held any regrets or sour feelings about their past, they clearly were not being brought up tonight. They had both grown to a place where those moments were no longer haunting. “For every decision that we feel as if we have control over, a curveball is thrown your way that sends you into a loop. ‘Tis life, right? We met a long time ago when we were different people and at different stages in life. Who knows where either of us would be without that period of time? The good, the bad, and the ugly. All of it are puzzle pieces in our book.” For a long time he held a deep self-loathing towards himself, both for things he said and did a long time ago, as well as for opinions of others that were out of his control. “Cheers to that. I couldn’t ask for a better person to be with tonight.” He stated while raising his glass up slightly and taking a drink. “Oh, that would be too controversial. It would be more believable to get married before us performing together ever happens again.” He remarked with a sly smirk.
Somewhere along the way, be it for his actions or simply how he carried himself, there was a disbelief whenever he pointed out to wanting kids or a family. He had seen how his mother had to fend for herself a lot of her life and while he was likely not to ever experience the same financial troubles she had when he was a child, he had no desire to live an entire life by himself. “I know you sure as hell did not hear that one from me ten years ago.” He jokingly added before laughing, knowing exactly the vibe he gave off back then differed a lot from who he presented himself as today. Wanting kids was a lot different than actually having a partner to imagine that future with. Ryan leaned his head against his hand, watching her closely as she spoke about her family. For as much as he loved to speak himself, he had this ability to make someone he is talking to feel like they are the only person he sees when they are in conversation. He never missed a beat. “An accountant named Bill? Sounds like the type of guy she would go for. A stable job, probably a bit boring overall but still an okay guy. Next up it’ll be a stock broker named Andy. Another run of the mill kind of man.” He remarked, not exactly judging her for wanting those things, but the typical was never something that drew his interest. Dating someone like Ellie-Grace when he did was very much on brand for him. Regardless of any typical sibling fights she had, he found the fact that she had a somewhat stable family and siblings to count on as a rather strong bond to have. Being an only child, once his mom passed away it felt as if he had no family left to count on which only heightened his wish to construct one for himself. “How’s your mom been? She was an absolute sweetheart from what I remember.”
He slowly nodded his head as she began to answer his question. While he knew that she had a thing with Hayden shortly after the two broke up, he always had his issues with him. He knew he had no right to be jealous of her moving on, although it didn’t stop him from feeling an ache whenever he saw pictures of the two. It was hypocritical of him given that he dated and was photographed with several women after him and Ellie-Grace fizzled out. Adding the fact that Ryan dated his cousin Izzy a couple of years after, it all contributes to the greater notion that the two would never reach a point of friendship. He felt a sense of guilt that if he had stayed clear of Ellie-Grace, perhaps her love life would look a lot different at this point. After listening to her speak, he laughs at her mention of his dating life. “I’ll make sure you get a vinyl of that album to add to your collection.” He told her while chuckling, chugging down a bit more wine. “Those relationships I speak about on that album were mostly between 2010 and like 2015 or so. I haven’t really actively dated since 2016. I’ve been on one date in three years, believe it or not.” Ryan stated, knowing that it may well come off as a lie to somebody hearing him say such a thing. It was true. Obviously hook-ups and one night stands were a thing in more recent memory, even then he was closing in on six months of no such thing. While his dating life had been more active after their break up, he was not about to dig into that unless she pushed him. It could not have been easy for her at her young age then to see him freely moving from relationship to relationship after what they shared. “We have both dated someone from the Merjos family. Not many people can say they’ve done that.” He added while laughing, “I know what you mean. It is tough to find that genuine spark. When things come about organically. I don’t believe those moments or people come about very often.” As he says that, it reminded him of how they came to be and how easy that spark occurred.