"i will be happy with anything that doesn't have mushrooms,peppers,olives or onions." chloe pipes up. "oh! and none of those little fish thingies! please." she finishes after remembering such things exist. it was rare chloe hobnobbed with anyone outside of the harlots. even now,it was more out of necessity. her trip back home was canceled and she happened to be in heathrow when erich came through. seemed like a fine thing to tag along on,it wasnt every day one got to visit dustyn at home.


"dammit,chloe. you are really committed to that bit. you've kept that crazy accent up for,i dunno. like hours." erich says over to his companion for this trip. he'd probably only said about 6 words to her over the past several years. she kind of tended to get lost in chaos that was erica and nina.

chloe starts to speak but decides against it. erich had the memory of a hamster so it was very likely he'd forget again that she actually was french.

"crazy moonspeak,am i right?" erich chuckles before his attention is caught by micah. he was pretty sure he heard there was a cheese pizza in the mix,but wasnt sure. "umm.i dont think the pork is the only problem there,micky. if you're strict about it,most pizza places probably dont use kosher cheese." erich tells his son. his other child,whom he actually fed before,was pretty strict about what she ate.

"tomato is a fruit. so there is that,dustyn. i can feel the health benefits already." chloe grins over at dustyn. she flexes her arm like a bodybuilder to illustrate her point. "mushrooms and olives..they are so bad." she makes a face and shakes her head. she disliked them greatly and unlike most of the hesses,she wouldnt even power through eating the fun mushrooms. she couldnt get over the idea of eating fungus.

"yeah. probably just get a little bit of everything,dust. then we put it all in a pile and fight it out." erich suggests to his host. he helps himself to a paring knife from the knife block and tosses micah a rolling pin. "dinner and a fucking show,am i right?" erich says with a tilt of his head while he tests the sharpness of the knife against his finger. its sharp,but could be sharper.

"sorta.i've been pouring a shot,taking a shot...got kinda behind on the task at hand." dallas replies to his husband...after putting the bottle down that he was clearly just previously drinking from.

"chloe and i already got a head start on the way here. but i think we could get one in for betty." erich announces,he looks to chloe and gives a little nod. they were both a little tipsy already. but still with in reason. they did drive here after all.

"she died minutes before her time." chloe says solemnly about bettie white with a little smirk on her face. 99 was a good run,so she wasnt too upset about betty. besides,everyone would just agree she made it to 100 anyway. betty white deserved that.

"fucking legend. had a huge party planned and just dipped out. " erich laughs loudly. he grew up watching golden girls with his grandma,so he was a huge fan of all the actresses.


"thats what she WANTS you to think,micah. i have it on good report she is Portuguese. i mean,look at her. Portuguese if i ever saw one." erich explains quietly to micah. this definitely falls under the umbrella of erich maybe just being weird or being serious. erich notices that micah isnt speaking to dustyn,but rather trying to speak through him. " righto. " he says with a pat of micah's shoulder before speaking a bit louder to the house at large. " make sure we get some chicken wings. a whole lot of them."

"fucking terrible guest,erich. they know me,they dont know him." chloe wags a finger at erich. the harlots had done shows with weekend before,so they at least knew each other on a professional basis. "you came in and didnt even introduce him. shame." she says with a shake of her head. one would get the idea chloe is a push over because of how nina and erica treat her on twitter,but that was just because they were all so close.

"oh..yeah." erich says,swallowing the remains of a piece of cheese. "this is my son,micah. as you can see,hes a handsome devil much like me. hes english,but hey,nobody is perfect." erich laughs and slips into cheesy dad mode. hes about three seconds away from busting out a terrible dad joke.

"gay...thing?" chloe says quietly. she has to think about it for a moment before turning a deep red. "oh my god." she whispers and looks anywhere but at dustyn. she doesnt really know him,so its a shock when he says something dirty. she really just assumed he was cute an innocent. clearly she doesnt read the tabloids. why would she? she isnt in them and she couldnt care less about gossip. she's very much a drummer in all things. sit in the back,do your job and know that nobody really cares about you.

"dust..not in front of the real rockstars." dallas playfully whines."i want to be cool and already be drunk too!" he smooches dustyn,already smelling of about 3 shots worth of tequila. he'd toured with the harlots and atomic war bride during his band days,he could hang with them then. he didnt want to look like he'd gone soft now that he lived the life of a househusband.

"totally forgot she died." erich says looking down. it saddened him., much like any time he heard a george michael song. he totally forget he was dead too. he wasnt a real big fan,but still. didnt seem real he was gone. "shit,what about when joan rivers kicked it?...i guess we better get a contingency plan in place for when dion warwick dies. though seriously,didnt even know she sang. i know her from the psychic friends hotline."
erich says while placing the paring knife back in the block. there wasnt going to be a knife fight tonight.
he also didnt want to have bad form and trip later and end up stabbing himself with it.

"i have to keep england on its toes. dustyn would want it that way." erich nods to riley. he didnt realize beers were to be had. naturally,they were guinness. erich grabs one and gets to drinking.

"ipswich sounds like a charming cockney chimney sweep." chloe muses from where she is at. she pulls out a stool and climbs on it to sit. she is fairly short so her feet do not touch the ground. " though i do not think there are any other kinds of chimney sweeps." she adds looking off in thought.


"a passing bit,perhaps. but i think hes mostly his mother's child." erich says as charmingly as he normally says anything. inwardly,he wants micah to have little similarity to him. being in dustyn's house with dustyn's stable relationship..with all of weekend's stable relationships..its a reminder that life is going on in a direction that he cant really experience. micah deserved better than to end up like that. erich drains the beer in one go and reaches for another.

"at least i can grow a beard,cold chin!" dallas fires back at riley while drinking from the bottle and bugging his eyes out at riley. "this isnt a pub and i'm not a barmaid. you got hands." dallas laughs warmly and brings the tray over.

dallas does serve dustyn a shot and fans him dramatically with the towel." dont even want to know how much this will be. or how much the delivery charge will be. we're out in the boonies."

"nice ocean view,though." erich quips. " got the duke parked right outside. he pulls a keyfob from his pocket and presses the lock button. a faint fog horn is heard outside. "forgot to lock it. dont want any punk ass kids jacking my shit."

"honestly,thought she died ages ago." erich whispers. the fact she was alive and still doing shows amazed him...and he'd seen hallucinations of bob hope with a hunting knife in his teeth. erich drinks another beer and straightens his jacket in hopes no one would be able to discern what they had been speaking of. "i kinda understand. i was fucking wrecked when ray dennis steckler died. i just adore those terrible,yet ambitious film directors " erich states seriously. he loved anyone with passion,no matter their ability to actually make that vision palatable for the public at large.

"the knife?" erich asks looking over at the block. " why,one has to be armed at all times. to the teeth,if possible. you think these bastards wouldnt fight you for the last chicken wing? especially if it was a flat?! cant be found wanting if one gets roped into a duel. you think i just look like a greaser for fun? switchblade fights are a possibility at anytime,micah. stay golden,stay golden." erich says with a wink to his son. this was where erich felt most comfortable: entertaining. if not his audience,at least himself. " seriously though,thank your lucky stars your mother named you. i damn sure would've named you pony boy."

"london is a god damned hell hole. i think i'd rather be in new york!" erich says in support of dustyn leaving london. as a southerner,new york was the absolute worst place for erich to be... but somehow london was worse. some parts were fine,like some of the people and the food. but it was just depressing for the most part. erich hated urban sprawl in most any city really. thus why he lived on the sea. "yeah. i um..had little to do with his life until recently. im going to have to teach him the ways of cornbread,grits and creamed corn." erich says warmly. the items basically didnt exist in the uk,so it was the least erich could do.

"arent those all corn based? " chloe asks erich.

"sure are. corn is the pig of the plant world. it gives us so much good things" erich says while clasping his hands to his heart. he knows micah wont eat pork,but he is missing out on so much. at least erich has dean,the son he can eat pork with.

"im from arles.we have van gogh and roman shit. charming is what i do." chloe tells micah flatly. she finds france in general fairly uninteresting. especially in comparison to peoples expectations of it. chloe takes to micah as they are both sort of the odd people out here. its not like either of them know these people on a personal level. while she isnt intimidated by the star power of weekend,she isnt exactly ready to rub elbows with them. shes a drummer in a crappy punk band that merely managed to outlast its competition. she half listens to the talk about micah and erich. in her mind,he is like dustyn : another stray that erich saw something in and quote unquote adopted.

"no, dust. yours would be loud and probably curdle the milk,dear." dallas tells dustyn and hands him another shot.

erich takes hold of the shot glass. he is actually neither a fan of shots or tequila. but this is for betty,so they must power through, betty would have. erich actually had a terrible experience with tequila which forever tainted it. just the smell of agave made him want to vomit. tequila was the first alcohol he had where he threw up. he never drank it on his own.

chloe takes her shot. being in the harlots,she is no stranger to the drink. while not the sort to drink as if she has a grudge against the liquor,like erica and nina. chloe can put it away with the best of them.

"change it. never too late to start anew. i wasnt born erich hess,you know." erich suggests to micah. while changing ones name to be cooler might be a moot point in micah's life. erich wanted to cut ties with his entire identity before music. to this day,only billy uses his birthname and even then only when he wants to be more of an asshole than usual. erichs mother even uses his stage name. identities are like pants and can be changed. one might even argue that they should be changed. "micah is a damned sight better than what i was called. your full name kinda sounds like a porn star,so you have that going for you." erich chuckles and gives micah a nudge. he was aware of the micah character in the game,but he really just wondered if his son was somehow related to grey delisle. hey,micah was related,erich wasnt. so that could be an option.

"too right,its a shithole. i think i have a car still parked there. fucking city can have the thing!" erich pipes up . among the many,many rockstar things he does is just leave cars places when a place annoys him.he'll pay a fine just to prove a point or to make things difficult. "honestly,i think the duke is faster than driving around that place." erich says with distaste. he was used to the usa and cities that were built after the automobile and after general motors gutted the public transportation system. if you cant get there by car,its not worth going in the first place."i was wondering where ol oscar was." erich says with a bit of sadness in his voice. it wasnt good to hear oscar was isolating,but he was sure the guy was vaccinated and pretty much safe. billy,he didnt mention because he hated him and wanted him to die. there were precious few people erich actively disliked,but billy was right up there with dick cheney,henry kissinger,and mickey dolens. mickey knew what he did.

erich winces like hes been shot in the heart when micah doesnt know about the various corn products that he loves. " i am going to have to get you over the usa sometime,boy. you are missing out on some great things. cornbread puts hair on your chest and lead in your pencil. theres few things that cant be better after a nibble of cornbread. double amputation? slightly better after a piece of cornbread. you can take that to the bank!" erich states firmly while gesturing madly.

"oh!" chloe starts until she realizes micah didnt say the name she thought he said. "i thought you said pratchett,as in terry pratchett." she says to micah,which is still more than most gave him with the probably obscure name he said. " ipswich does have the adicts. the longest running punk band with the original line up, so you guys have that." she says brightly and starts humming chinese takeaway

"i think our guests all know what you are about. aside from the girl and erichs son." dallas has been busy and only sort of half paying attention to what had been going on.

" to betty! she made the world a better place." erich says before taking his shot. he keeps a straight face but gives a little nod to micah. the stuff is nasty but they werent drinking for the taste tonight.

"thank you for being a friend." chloe says and takes her shot. she is already looking for more. she likes the taste of tequila. just yesterday she and lydia had been sharing a bottle.

erich doesnt expect to be asked such a question. especially with the limitation of not pony boy. "um...er..." erich starts and runs a hand through his hair in thought. "fuck if i know,man... soda pop? pony boy's brother?" erich says with a shrug. he wasnt ever any good at naming things,much less children. it was too much pressure to give something a name it might be stuck with for life. "total porn star. you could have the nickname of the hebrew hammer. it would totally work. " erich doesnt give much though to his son's middle name. he seriously doubted micah's mom really chose it because of him. it was very possible she never knew his real name. "william,huh? mind if i call you,willy?" erich chuckles and gives micah a nudge. erich wasnt sure if micah ever knew what his father's birth certificate said.so,no time like the present. "delisle is a great surname. mine,and i swear if you let this get around i will drop you off at a fucking orphanage: hebmuller. william hebmuller. i sound like some low level nazi...though erich hess doesnt sound much better. which i guess i was aiming for. there was a joke i made about a hess gas station..meh,it seemed funny at the time. " erich says feeling rather bitter but not really letting it out. what was he doing here? he was literally one person's father and near old enough to be so to the rest of them. well,aside for chloe. despite her baby face.

"london taxi drivers are god damned pirates." erich replies to riley. "of course,they all kinda of are. as much as i get around,i think i save money by actually driving everywhere." he laughs and nods towards the outside. he,micah and chloe had driven up one of erich's many 1959 cadillacs. even with the crazy gas prices,erich felt the came out ahead. rockstars do not ride buses or trains. "the rona,eh? hope he pulls through and stays away from his...wife?" erich wasnt exactly sure if oscar had married eilidh yet. erich had lost contact with her from their time time on big brother. it had been ages since he spoke to her. " riley,i've done blow in the bathroom of cbgb's. i think i'm pretty immune to most anything." erich grins to him. it was early in his career,but erich did play the legendary venue once. he forgot who his old band opened for,but they were there in 2006 for sure.

"you are not missing much." chloe informs micah of america. "except the food. its so bad for you,but it tastes so good." she tells micah wearily at first before brightening at the end. it hard to feel crappy when processed cheese is involved. sometimes though,she forgets that not everyone has spent the last 20 years crisscrossing the world like she has. " maybe everyone should see it once. just to see that it is there." she suggests with a little wave of her hand. she sort of understood where micah was coming from. everyone knew paris,but arles? it wasnt all that high on people's lists. they both were from off the beaten path. " i would hope not,micah. the adicts are like,your grandparents music. 1977 was a long time ago! they may still live there,though. so if you see any old punks at a pub..." she giggles. while the adicts still tour,it wasnt like they were selling out stadiums. unless you were looking for them,it was probable you didnt know them. while they had the honor of still being together,they werent exactly as well known as the pistols,the clash,or the damned.

"hey,watch the beard! i spend a lot of time on the beard and he hits the beard!" dallas says to everyone while dallas pinches his cheek. he loves the movie saturday night fever,so isnt going to miss a chance to paraphrase it.

erich grimaces and nods along with scott. " yeah,sorry dust. this shit makes me want to puke." erich croaks out. he shakes his head to try to get the taste away but that blue agave isnt going away so easily. "god damn!" he whines. you would think from his display that erich never drinks. in a few moments he is breathing deeply like a cat that is about to throw up a hairball. " dont ask,bad experiance." he tells everyone as he tries to regain his breath. chloe shrugs and takes it upon herself to pour another shot.

erich gives a final wince before realizing dustyn is talking about him. " first. these are wonderful digs and if your cellar doesnt have a bottle of pre ban pernod,you were ripped off and i may very well just leave." erich jokes to his adopted son. what he is asking for is rare,but not exactly unattainable he has a several bottles aboard the duke. but over 100 year old absinthe isnt something one comes across every day. " second. i will not stand for these...these...these assassinations of character. you think i would stoop as low as to bamboozle,nay,befuddle and confound the good customs officers of this country?! why i never!" erich creeches as if he has been mortally wounded by the words. he recites: "“We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high powered blotter acid, a salt shaker half full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers... and also a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of Budweiser, a pint of raw ether and two dozen amyls.
Not that we needed all that for the trip, but once you get locked into a serious drug collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can.” dutifully as he pulls this and a variety of other substances from his jacket pockets and proceeds to dump it all on dustyn's counter top. " come with uncle and hear all proper. hear angel trumpets and devil trombones. you. are. invited." he announces as a stray pill rolls off the counter before it is caught by erich and promptly swallowed." you bought a lovely home,dusty. we need to break it in." in a way,erich didnt want micah involved in this side of his life...on the other,well, micah had to know what his father was about. half the stories about erich were exaggerations,the others didnt go far enough.

"if there is any believers in the protocols of the elders of zion here,dust and i will toss them off the cliff. of that,you can be assured. aint no PEZ dispensers on my watch." erich tells his son firmly. he assumed micah means the simple fact that he is jewish. the circumcision part never crosses his mind because,until proven otherwise,erich just assumes everyone is. erich considers telling his son,its a lot less cool because they technically could be billies,but digresses. the less said about that fucker,the better. unless its billie piper .shes an ok billie. erich merely shrugs at the assessment of his once actual name. hes been erich hess since about 2002 when he cut ties with his blood relatives. "fuck,man.tell anyone! your tone makes it seem like i have an std or something!" erich roars with laughter. "but feel free to associate us with william tell. both the overture and the shooting of fruit off people's heads. i've yet to find anyone to let me try it,but you never know." erich says with a wink. if he was really looking,he could probably find a fan who would let him try. but william s burroughs already fished that lake dry.

"aww. good for them. i hope he did it for the right reasons. if not,he made a powerful enemy." erich chuckles. "seriously,marriage is like acid. everyone should try it once,both can be life changing." he gives riley a little smirk. it wasnt for him but maybe its good for other people. out of the two,erich preferred the acid. erich furrows his brows at riley. "god dammit. i guess my career has been going on for too long when i name drop shit and it doesnt have an effect. you know what? fuck you! i know im always welcome at al lewis' house.HE loves my stories!" erich tells riley after a hearty laugh. al lewis has been dead since 2006. "fucking cbgbs was legendary! please validate me being cool and having a career. it was funny at first,now i am just sad." erich lifts a chip to his mouth,but cant bother taking a bite. the ego bruise is too much.

chloe is rather surprised at the matter of cost coming into the discussion. much like anyone in the business for long enough,you just assume everyone else is too and whatever one wants is right at one's fingertips. she really never asked what micah did,or really who he was. she knew he was erich's son...whatever that meant. erich told people dustyn was his son too. she really didnt pay attention to the ins and outs of celebrity world. so his actual identity was as unknown to her. "probably be cheaper to go there yourself. the price of fruity pebbles in france? i could buy a car." she tells him with sympathetic shock. unlike a lot of the hess clan,she doesnt live the communal lifestyle like they do. she has a room on the duke,but mainly resides in arles. she really isnt one for schmoozing with other musicians. again,she is a drummer. shes content to stay in the back. "i think you could take any of those old fucks, they are all at least in their fifties by now." chloe tells micha,giving his arm a squeeze. shes not active on instagram,but shes seen the tight shirted picture. she knows whats there.

"well.i'll tell you. as long as SOME people arent narcs!" erich tells dustyn loudly while looking over at micah. he was sure this had to be awkward for someone as....sheltered as micah. alcohol was one thing,enough cocaine to put everyone here away for decades was another. a joke was erichs way of not excluding micah from what was going down. he certainly wasnt going to offer his son drugs but he also wasnt going to smack micah's hand away if he did get involved. deep down,erich didnt like this one bit. this wasnt micah's scene. it was one thing showing up to see micah while tripping balls,erich could maintain pretty well. but this was different. this was actual ingesting. but...erich did bring the extras to the party. this was a rocket that had to ridden until it crashed. "well,dusty. i know i was coming to see you,so i brought your favorite." erich says matter of factly as he pushes what was an empty pasta sauce jar towards dustyn,filled with white powder. " careful,its rather spicy. i also have high grade weed,laudanum,ketamine,molly,and my personal favorite,mescaline." he rattles off. he really only expects the jar to be a hit. the rest require a bit of a commitment to the drug. even though he just popped a molly. a habit he picked up from erica and gretchen. it was certainly fun in its way.

erich nods his approval at dustyn singing for the wedding. " couldnt pick a better wedding singer,really. i mean,maaaybe tom jones. but it'd have to be tom jones from like 1970 or so. then again...that'd be dangerous having such a sexy man also in the wedding. fucker is welsh,but he has raised above that handicap." erich feels older and older by the day with his out of date references and name drops but it does get him ever closer to his final form: an ex star who knows some very entertaining stories that are of interest to a very niche audience. whatever the modern equivlent of the people who were interested in roddy mcdowell showing his dick to a very impressed frank sinatra. that will be erichs people in about 20 years. "al lewis was grandpa munster. of course,i was all about the addamms family,so al and i would bicker endlessly after the drinks started. i once saw him throw a dog turd at chuck woolery. whom still deserves dog shit thrown at him." erich muses.

chloe nods along with the mention of roots in the states. she still doesnt really get what micah is saying though in regards to erich. "i think i have some distant relatives in Canada. " she says with a tilt of her head. she seemed to remember something about an uncle or two moving there in the 1800's to be fur traders or some shit. "just fucking go. one of our bands is always touring there. what is one more seat on the bus? it is nothing." she tells micah. she has no idea what he does,but she assumes its easy for him to just join up with the traveling circus and leave his home country for weeks on end. "hop aboard the smelly old boat if need be." she adds. there was always room there and passage was free. sometimes it made for a nice change of pace. she was a very skilled shuffleboard player after all. chloe was more like nina when it came to automobiles. she knew it should work. everything else was something she paid someone for. "you know,there is something to be said for a man that choses a clio.take erich,for instance. look at that barge of a car we came up here in. the huge actual boat called the duke... i am just saying...you know. that stereotype must have merit." chloe tells micah with a wink. "a lover hmmm?" chloe says with a raised eyebrow. " so tell me. who is it that you love?"

"see that you arent,micah. we hess men are many things,but we arent finks." erich warns overly dramatically to his son while wagging his finger. this is only partially true. erichs actual father was very much a fink.in fact,he was a cop.

erich is happy to see dustyn take the jar. hes the sole reason that erich even bothered bringing it. sure,he'd use it with dustyn here,but as a rule that was usually only to keep going for work. for the most part,it wasnt what erich would call a fun drug. it was more utilitarian that way. "shit,dust. just let me know when you need something. got my own little farm on the duke.its not the best,but its free." erich grins and gives dustyn something green. erich has a garden of many fun plants on the duke. if it grow naturally and has good properties,its on the duke. this is where erichs endless supply of cacti comes from. its up to dustyn to provide his own smoking vehicle. erich assumed nobody was going to be smoking inside and didnt bother bringing anything to actually use it in. " good warning. lets make sure to keep everything here on the kitchen island. we do NOT want anything dropping or left behind."

erich holds up a brown bottle to the kitchen light. he takes a dropper out of it lets several drops fall on his tongue. " tincture of opium. makes a great companion to absinthe for that belle epoque feel. careful with it,if you decide to partake. i dont think i need to explain why." erich tells scott with the gusto of an old west snake oil salesman. erich would never shoot heroin. but he damned sure was fond of its older relatives.


chloe narrows her eyes and looks from micah to erich. dustyn and erich usually called each other father and son in way that didnt seem real. this guy didnt exactly say it in the same way. he also didnt seem as...tragic as dustyn. chloe had known erich for a long time by this point. she understood the quote unquote adoption of dustyn. chloe was privy to the real story of why randy wriggle was who erich called dad. this guy...didnt have that same feeling. " dad..so where did erich adopt you from? " she asks,giving a little nod towards to dustyn to emphasize her point. "meh. not really. these people arent my friends. i barely know them. i dont want to do drugs with them.cmon. lets go outside." chloe says with a shrug and as politely as she can. she didnt want to hang out with weekend. she had no urge to hang out with weekend. these werent her people. she grabs a bottle of rum and a bit of the weed as she leaves. shes careful not to get any on the carpet. she doesnt want to hurt a kitty. " we're smoking this outside. " she announces to everyone and heads towards the doors to the patio area.