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Let's Talk About... with Ryan Ross Hernandez [NYT]
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Joined: 13/02/2009(UTC) Posts: 5,314   Thanks: 3305 times
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Let's Talk About... with Ryan Ross Hernandez The New York Times has partnered with Apple TV to launch "Let's Talk About..." a freeform writing series from renowned musician Ryan Ross Hernandez and the upcoming host of "Are We Having a Conversation?" a talk show on Apple TV+ launching later this summer.a message from Ryan Ross HernandezThank you to the New York Times for giving me a platform to share my thoughts and to my bosses over at Apple for entrusting me in not canceling the show before it begins. Over the next few months, I will be sharing random musings that come to mind about things both in my life (past, present, future) as well as greater societal issues which deserve to be highlighted. "Are We Having a Conversation?", my upcoming talk show on Apple TV+ will be diving deep into the lives of artists, entertainers, and other public figures. It will flow like a conversation between friends that can at times get uncomfortable. If I'm putting my guests through that in hopes of providing an authentic insight into the minds of some of the most creative and inspiring people in the world, it's only fair that I too open up and speak about things that make me uneasy. As most others in this world, I am learning, changing, and adapting every single day of my life. So let's talk about it. - R.R.H |
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Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Registered
Joined: 13/02/2009(UTC) Posts: 5,314 Thanks: 3305 times
Was thanked: 2741 time(s) in 1013 post(s)
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 Let's Talk About... Accountabilityby RYAN ROSS HERNANDEZ
June 29, 2021I've been thinking a lot about accountability lately. I am in a privileged position. Being a heterosexual white man with money and name recognition means that whether I am actively aware of it or not, I carry a certain degree of power. It is unfairly the reality of a preset patriarchal world. The world is rightfully yet slowly shifting away from that overall but ultimately the fact remains, particularly in the entertainment industry. The #MeToo movement created many ripple effects and exposed a dark reality of this business. It was long overdue that piece of shit men faced the music and paid for their crimes as sexual predators. That does not mean the fight is over but thankfully progress is being made.
With that in mind, talking about myself now, there have been romantic relationships I've had which to a degree could have presented an uneven power dynamic to them. There's a long running joke or commentary that I "like them young" given the age differences I've had with most women whom I've dated over the years. I've never stated that myself or have made it a requirement in my relationships. It's factually true that there have been age gaps with some of my romantic affairs. I have never pursued a relationship with someone because they fit a certain image in my mind. It would be unfair to both myself and a partner if we feel a connection but turn it down because we're worried about what might trend on Twitter from it.
I consider myself fortunate and lucky to have dated the women I've spent any considerable amount of time with over the years. They are incredible. They are strong. They are inspirational. I have nothing but kind things to say about each of them. Actively in all the relationships I've been a part of, never was it anything but equal and consensual through the entire length of it. I have never pressured anyone into anything in my entire life. That I will state without any lingering reservations. However, it would be oblivious of me to not see that I've used my profession, name, and stature to pursuit women. Anyone who has had sustained fame in this industry can tell you that the easiest things that come in this world are sex, drugs, and fake friends. I have experienced the highs and fallouts from two out of the three.
In the past, I have wronged women. I have been selfish and careless with their feelings. I have broken promises. I have "ghosted" women. I have shared intimate details within my songs, which I have never confirmed or denied the inspiration behind any of them, but the internet loves to piece things together and pounce on the smallest details. I understand that makes life hard for the targeted individuals and for that I am sorry. I will always carry shame and regret for some of my actions over my life as an ex-boyfriend. It would be incredibly oblivious and ignorant of me to consider myself perfect. I could have and will be better.
It is bullshit that as a man I am portrayed a particular way for breaking hearts and dating when women who do the same as me are considered "sluts" or worse. In that vein, if women wrote songs with the subject matters I did, they would be viewed as a "bitch" for simply being confident and sexually empowering themselves. I recognize I need to be a product of change and I will do everything in power to be that. I'm aware that many will read this and have this fuel that fire of hatred towards me that already rages on. That's fine. I understand why you may not like me. I'm not for everyone.
I would very much like to be a husband and father one day. My future wife deserves the best possible version of myself. My future children deserve the best possible version of myself. It's not about being perfect or having the right thing to say all the time, it's about owning up to your shortcomings. I can't do anything to erase or better my past reputation as a boyfriend or man in general. All I can do and have done from that is learning from every failed relationship. Recognizing the mistakes I've made and genuinely finding it in my heart to apologize when I have to. Holding myself accountable. Life is too short to not find solace and love. Sometimes you find solace within love, as I have recently.
Let's talk again soon. |
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Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Registered
Joined: 13/02/2009(UTC) Posts: 5,314 Thanks: 3305 times
Was thanked: 2741 time(s) in 1013 post(s)
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Let's Talk About... Loveby RYAN ROSS HERNANDEZ
July 8, 2021Love. The subject/feeling that every great writer has shared their thoughts about. The most universal topic within the constructs of what entertains us and keeps us company. In a world full of distractions where you can spend your free time on the internet, binge watching a TV series tenfold, or live through the endless scrolling feeds of Instagram and TikTok, love is a rarity. Love is a rarity because despite every technological advancement made in the late 20th and so far in the 21st century, there is no replacement for love. There will never be a replacement for love.
I've had very few surprises in my life. Every dream I had as a teenager, I've been lucky enough to live out. I wanted to create and play music for a living. I wanted to live in New York City. I wanted a large home in Los Angeles. I wanted to see the world. I wanted to meet talented and beautiful women. I wanted fame and fortune. The checklist has all been marked. In those dreams, there was no space for love. I didn't want to be tied down. I didn't want to get married young. I didn't want to be a father. Every relationship I had between 20 and 40, I was giving about 80% of myself because I was scared that I would lose something within me if I put it all out there. The overall desire then was to be allowed to live out my dreams without any distractions or commitments. It's greedy, but I needed those years to figure my shit out.
I'll be turning 44 in October and the biggest lesson I've learned since entering my 40s is that regardless of how jaded you can be, love is what we're all striving for. My mentality has shifted on romantic love and sharing my life with another human. As a society, we need to accept that people can change and adapt and grow. I'm thrilled to not be the same person I was at 30. It's okay if someone that's 24 wants to get married and have kids immediately. I have friends half my age who are in relationships that have already lasted longer than any of my own. It's okay if someone is 60 and wants nothing to do with a marriage and kids. You have the right to shape the life you want. It's not up to anyone else to determine how someone should be living their lives. If they are not hurting anyone, let people be who they want to be. Not everyone needs to be on the same wavelength as you.
Love is not easy. Love is not meant to cover your flaws. Love is not an excuse. Love is not a weapon. Love is the purest form of admiration, respect, and loyalty to another person. I truly believe that I've finally found my person. The game leading up to the discovery is over and that's a beautiful feeling to have. I've kept my foot on the gas for over 20 years. It's now time to enter the lean years and enjoy as the ride slows down. And I'm so fucking ready for it. I've slid all my chips across the blackjack table. I'm All In.
Let's talk again soon.
P.S. My girlfriend is not Layla Sanchez. I usually stay out of these tabloid or fan created fires but I want to come forward and clear this rumor. She is spectacular and I have so much love for her. I care too dearly for her to have her name attached to mine in that light. There is no positive in being linked to me in 2021.
P.P.S. Now I'm thinking if by mentioning her, everyone will think that I am dating her, by me saying I'm not dating her. Welcome to my brain! Edited by user 09 July 2021 07:54:54(UTC)
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9 users thanked PANIC! for this useful post.
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Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Registered
Joined: 13/02/2009(UTC) Posts: 5,314 Thanks: 3305 times
Was thanked: 2741 time(s) in 1013 post(s)
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Let's Talk About... Touringby RYAN ROSS HERNANDEZ
May 23, 2022Look at that! I still remember my NYT password! It's been awhile, friends. A few days ago I announced a tour to promote my upcoming Apple TV+ show "Are We Having a Conversation?" which marks the first time in nearly 6 years where I'm hitting the road. I know as an artist who has been fortunate to do this for as long as I have I should say that I love touring more than anything else. I should enjoy and appreciate every second of it. In my 20's and 30's I did. I was a man of the road through and through. Unfortunately I burned myself out. By the fall of 2016 when I was still trying to push myself to keep going, I knew there was a spark in me that had gone out.
For a handful years in my career I thought I needed to tour as much as possible so I wouldn't be forgotten. That same mentality went into my heavy usage of social media back in the day. I had this real fear that this career I'd built for myself and watched grow to levels of success I never could have imagined was one day going to be ripped away from me if I didn't always have my foot on the gas. I had that mentality up until I was 37 or so. Obviously, I did not know that I was going to be the one driving off that proverbial cliff myself and did not need anyone's assistance in doing me in. Anyways.
Touring doesn't come natural to me. I don't think that's a concept a lot of people are perfectly adaptable with. Moving from city to city, being on for each person you meet, going on stage every night, sleeping on a tour bus. It's not a normal lifestyle regardless of how vogue it may seem. Our minds and bodies are not built to be in constant motion. Now, don't misinterpret my intent in writing this. I love playing music on stage. I love seeing fans. It's the fuel that keeps the machine going. I will never undervalue the time, money, and effort that concertgoers put in to see their favorite acts perform live. It means the world to me that someone would choose to spend their night watching me play for them. I strive every single time I hit a stage to give folks everything I have for those 120 minutes.
I know a global pandemic put a stranglehold on our industry. It put a pause in the livelihood for a lot of my peers in this industry who depend on touring to support themselves and their families. I'm not dismissing any of that importance. No matter how much we advance as a society to welcome technological advances where we've seen virtual concerts become more of a regular occurrence, the interpersonal experience of seeing a show in-person will always be untouched. In a very distant world where I will be far gone and cars will drive themselves, people will still buy tickets to go see their favorite artists live. The feeling of singing, dancing, and taking in music with other humans is irreplaceable.
What's my point in all this? Don't expect to ever see me go on the road to play 100+ dates on a tour again. Maybe don't even expect half of that on a run. I've entered a point in my career where I'm thinking less about maximization of the present and more about longevity. For the longevity of myself I need to prioritize my well-being both physically and mentally. That means no longer going for global domination like my younger and more brash self desired. I've never been more present and in-sync with everything I do as I am right now and that excites me like nothing else. While I may not hit as many towns in the future, the best shows, the best music, and the best times are still ahead of me.
Let's talk again soon. |
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