Inspiration
Dark Days
Fifteen
I'm Not Your Typical
Red Symphony
Butterflies
Rain
The Piano Song
Where Are We?
Wild Card
First Love
Unchained Melody
Welcome to the first of my 'Retrospective' series, a little blog where I go down memory lane and discuss each album of mine in celebration of 15 years since the release of my first single...'Fifteen'! Aptly title. What could be more fitting than posting an online blog? Let's recapture that 2010 magic where people would actually write up these sorts of posts on their websites. Oh, speaking of, mine has had a little overhaul. What do you think? Glossy, huh?!
Kittens, I can't quite believe how fast the time has flown! Where has it gone? 15 years have passed us by since the release of 'The Voice of Me'. A decade and a half? Someone must have gotten these notes wrong. I swear this came out only yesterday, my goodness! Despite this being my earliest record, I can remember the creation and release of 'TVOM' (that's not a very nice acronym, actually) more vividly than my others in part! Perhaps it was the adrenaline and anticipation, or merely the fact that I was experience a multitude of 'firsts' back to back in quick succession. It was an absolute whirlwind. I wouldn't say 'overwhelming' as that can host rather negative connotations. I basked in it and enjoyed the ride. The journey was akin to a speedboat jetting across the waves and I was just letting my hair down and embracing the natural highs and thrills.
I don't wish to downplay my own efforts and hard work when it comes to what was achieved with this record, as it's a very British thing to do, but I have to acknowledge that timing and luck played a great deal in the launch of my career. I wasn't exactly knocking down doors to make it happen or blazing a ferocious trail as an independent act. I was persistent with my local performances and uploading some self-penned songs of mine, sure, but I was still a schoolgirl with education at the forefront of my mind. Singing was the ultimate dream and I made sure to embrace that whenever I could but I was also rather grounded in reality. I still had work to do, exams to pass and a prom date with Darren Welch (hi, Darren!) on the cards. I was well aware that you don't go to bed one night and then wake up the next morning a pop star. Well, that's at least what I believed! Turns out, that story isn't far off from what happened!
I signed my first record deal at 15 years old all because the right person at Junction Records saw a low quality video of me performing 'Unchained Melody' on YouTube. This wasn't even a 'viral sensation' clip that was jumped on. It really was a stroke of that word I continuously return to, luck!
Everything going on around me both professionally and culturally resulted in me being in the eye of a perfect storm. I was a cutesy little blonde girl who had a musical taste that touched upon the polar opposite side of the spectrum that people envisioned for me on account of my appearance. In the very early 2010's, there was a clear night and day split within the music industry and charts alike. On one end you had gorgeous, glossy pop divas like Brittany Knox and Glamazon dominating one space while more alternative and whimsical voices such as Ryan Ross Hernandez, Infinite and Stacey Walton took over another space. I sort of found myself smack bang in the middle in terms of what I both loved and also wanted to do with my own music. I love deep, introspective and heart-wrenching music but I also enjoy some glitz thrown in there too! That towing the line of pop and alternative music is what the label fully leaned into with my marketing and again, I don't know if I would've been as successful had the cultural zeitgeist looked differently at the time.
Prior to signing my deal, I had written and composed a handful of songs. They were rather rough around the edges and quite juvenile in hindsight but I'm still incredibly proud of them and, hey, I WAS a literal child. I'm proud to say that some of those songs written alongside my guitar in my childhood bedroom made the cut for 'The Voice of Me', granted with a couple of tweaks and studio magic slapped upon them. Writing in the studio and with professionals in the room was a totally different beast but I took to it like a fish to water. Before my first writing session, my stomach was in knots. I can still feel the exact twists and pangs in a phantom way to this day when I think back. I was in bits but as soon as I settled in, it was like second nature and I quickly realised; "Hey, I can do this!".
I was nurtured tremendously by my original team and all those on board around me. Guided but not manipulated. Encouraged but never patronised. Everything just fell into place with such grace and ease. There was no hellish 'artist development' era as we all knew what we were going for in terms of sound and image. I discovered that I was a competent writer and extremely eager to learn, resulting in no fruitless or frustrating studio sessions. It also appeared that everything I handed in to the label was met with aplomb. I was the Golden Girl with that Midas touch, it seemed. "This pop star stuff is easy!". Oh how the smile was soon smacked from my face come album #2 but that's a story for a different day, hehe!
Three singles came from the album; 'Fifteen', 'Dark Days' and 'Red Symphony'. My debut reached #2 in the charts while the following singles both landed at #1! Whoaaaaa! That just doesn't happen, right?! Again, things just seemed to be happening naturally and easily. One minute I'm revising for chemistry class, the next I'm at the top of Chart Heat. Not only that, I'm breaking records?! I became the youngest artist ever to have a #1 single. I did the same thing again with my album when it also hit the top spot. That album, that little project of mine I worked on when I could get time out of school, was not only out there in the world being listening to across the globe but was also now a #1 best-seller. All these years later and I STILL get goosebumps thinking about it. Can never seem to get my head around how all of that went down. I'm still incredibly grateful and feel eternally indebted towards everyone who put their faith in me and supported my dream.
I wouldn't say that 'The Voice of Me' is a perfect album. The obligatory cover tacked on at the end made sense from the label's point of view. My performance of it was gaining traction online and an already established song is an easy route in for curious new listeners. If I had my way, however, I wouldn't have included it. 'The Voice of Me' was meant to be about establishing myself as a serious writer and vocalist...and there I go singing someone else's words, hehe! There are also a couple of tracks I sort of cringe at upon hearing back. Lyrically, they sound a tad juvenile and mushy at times. Again, I can't be too harsh on baby Michelle. I was doing the best with the 15 years of life experience I had at the time! Funnily enough, I probably thought those tracks were on spar with Shakespeare at the time! Being a songwriter was a label that I wore proudly. It was 2010, the critics were brutal! They may have still insulted my looks and weight but at least they couldn't accuse me of not writing my own songs. That was practically enough to warrant the death penalty then!
Despite of its imperfections, I am incredibly proud of 'The Voice of Me' for what it achieved as a product itself and also for what it became at the end of the creative process. I started from scratch with a record deal and a dream and ended up with my own little album. Going from nothing to something is an incredibly satisfying and awarding feeling of accomplishment. I distinctly remember writing 'Red Symphony' very early on in the process, not knowing or anticipating what it would go on to become. Going from a little idea in my head to one of the best-selling singles of that year was mind-boggling. Side note, I randomly remember I was eating a tube of Smarties when writing that song. The story behind the music! The more you know, hehe!
I can't write about this album without mentioning two fan-favourite tracks. Here's a shoutout to 'Where Are We?' and 'The Piano Song'. I can't say I ever understood the fanfare for the latter as it's one that I think would've benefitted from a few lyrical refinements. Still, I greatly appreciate the love it has been continuously shown and I haven't forgotten how well-received it went down in my earlier live shows. Maybe I should dust it off again, hmmmmm?? As for 'Where Are We?', that was one of the earliest songs written for the project and I love its persistence and perseverance. It was the first truly finished and polished song we had and it was initially pencilled in as my debut single. 'Fifteen' then took its place. We then lined it up for the second single but 'Dark Days' undercut it. Yep, we then planned on servicing it as the third single but as you know, 'Red Symphony' came out instead and did what it did. FINALLY, I pushed for it to be the fourth single from the album but...label politics, you know? It never did get to see the light of day as an official single but I'll always hold so much love for it and I know you Kittens still stream it like mad to this day!
'The Voice of Me' was a true indie-pop record from 2010. That sentence is both a fact of what it was and also a descriptor of its sonics. It was 2010 and this era did its thing on Tumblr. Need I say more, hehe? It sounds exactly like you think it does. Whether or not it still holds up in terms of quality isn't for me to decide. I may be biased. It is, however, a nostalgic little time capsule of 2010. It was the start of a brand new decade, one determined to find its own feet but with elements and influences of what came before it still trickling over. That's also me and this album in a nutshell. I didn't have it all figured out and still had an enormous road ahead of me but I made do with what I had and I think it turned out pretty darned well if you ask me, hehe!
Thank you to everyone who has been on this journey with me. Extra special shoutout to my day ones! Do you remember picking up 'The Voice of Me' when it came out? Did you come meet me at one of the HMV album signings? Those were fun! I would ask what age you were when the album dropped but I'm already feeling old as it is by celebrating the anniversary. I don't need to age myself any further, eeek!!
Love, Michelle
