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Offline asdf  
#1 Posted : 02 December 2009 13:10:33(UTC)
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This a preview of the book I am now working on. Think Epic Fantasy.

Prologue

The story that you are about to read is about an angel who was sent by God himself to save a world. I say “a world” because I am not talking about the world we know as Earth. I am speaking of the world known as Serapnoir. During Earths one thousandth year of existence, God created Serapnoir in hopes of improving upon a flawed design. It was meant to be the new beginning. Unfortunately though, the same mistake was made. Humans were chosen as the dominant creature and humans, by nature are doomed to bring forth their own destruction.

Its landscape is much like our own, ranging from vast flat lands, to high mountains and deep oceans. The lands inhabitants are very different however. There are animals that have an apes head but a horse’s body, called the Grogan, there are creatures that are like bears but over twenty feet tall called Kroaks, and there are even dragons that fly high in the sky above all the corrupted humans who crawl below. Many of these animals can even talk in the different human tongues and languages. Yes, Serapnoir is very different from Earth, but also very similar as you will soon find. God changed much, but kept the same basic principles. Oh the irony.







Opinions?

Edited by user 25 May 2012 22:56:37(UTC)  | Reason: Not specified

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User is suspended until 16/05/4760 03:38:29(UTC) stephaniewazhere  
#2 Posted : 02 December 2009 13:13:43(UTC)
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asdf wrote:
This a preview of the book I am now working on. Think Epic Fantasy.

Prologue

The story that you are about to read is about an angel who was sent by God himself to save a world. I say “a world” because I am not talking about the world we know as Earth. I am speaking of the world known as Serapnoir. During Earths one thousandth year of existence, God created Serapnoir in hopes of improving upon a flawed design. It was meant to be the new beginning. Unfortunately though, the same mistake was made. Humans were chosen as the dominant creature and humans, by nature are doomed to bring forth their own destruction.

Its landscape is much like our own, ranging from vast flat lands, to high mountains and deep oceans. The lands inhabitants are very different however. There are animals that have an apes head but a horse’s body, called the Grogan, there are creatures that are like bears but over twenty feet tall called Kroaks, and there are even dragons that fly high in the sky above all the corrupted humans who crawl below. Many of these animals can even talk in the different human tongues and languages. Yes, Serapnoir is very different from Earth, but also very similar as you will soon find. God changed much, but kept the same basic principles. Oh the irony.







Opinions?


Speak ;)

That's a very cool concept, love the creatures you came up with. Look forward to reading it. Take your time writing it and don't give up :)
Offline asdf  
#3 Posted : 02 December 2009 13:15:50(UTC)
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I cant believe you just showed me proper grammar. Lol.

Thanks though, I was going to go back and finish the one about John Blain, and the super powers but, I felt this calling me from my little scribbles in my notebook. Lol, hopefully it will be pretty long and in depth if I have my way with it.
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User is suspended until 16/05/4760 03:38:29(UTC) stephaniewazhere  
#4 Posted : 02 December 2009 13:19:33(UTC)
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asdf wrote:
I cant believe you just showed me proper grammar. Lol.

Thanks though, I was going to go back and finish the one about John Blain, and the super powers but, I felt this calling me from my little scribbles in my notebook. Lol, hopefully it will be pretty long and in depth if I have my way with it.


Lmao, college has me like that. Sorry I know how it feels to be corrected, I feel good though. lol


Cool, also remember the publishing process is the hard part believe it or not. Just enjoy writing and don't worry about how long it is. Don't even count the pages. And remember it can take up to 10 years to write a fantasy.

Edited by user 02 December 2009 13:21:21(UTC)  | Reason: Not specified

Offline asdf  
#5 Posted : 02 December 2009 13:22:50(UTC)
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You should feel good. :)

I know, but I have always wanted to write that 500 page, real novel, instead of another short story ya know? No matter how long it is though, I prey to God that it doesn't take that long to finish it! Lol
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User is suspended until 16/05/4760 03:38:29(UTC) stephaniewazhere  
#6 Posted : 02 December 2009 13:27:55(UTC)
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asdf wrote:
You should feel good. :)

I know, but I have always wanted to write that 500 page, real novel, instead of another short story ya know? No matter how long it is though, I prey to God that it doesn't take that long to finish it! Lol


I know how you feel, I've attempted to do that and gave up like 1,675,876 times. And I realized the only reason I did was because I kept counting the pages or words. Like one of my good Professors said "Good writing comes from the heart, not from the mind". The mind messes with you, and the heart makes love to your writing. Not a true statement but metaphorically true.
Anyway, I've read your stuff and you have potential, especially at such a young age. Just make sure to not give up and if you get stuck take a break. You never know, you can finish in one year.
Offline asdf  
#7 Posted : 02 December 2009 15:36:45(UTC)
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Lol, true, and thanks again.


Wish you would quit talking to me like your some sort of Grandmother though, I'm not that young, and your certainly aren't old.
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User is suspended until 16/05/4760 03:38:29(UTC) stephaniewazhere  
#8 Posted : 02 December 2009 15:53:18(UTC)
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asdf wrote:
Lol, true, and thanks again.


Wish you would quit talking to me like your some sort of Grandmother though, I'm not that young, and your certainly aren't old.


Um, lol, you made me laugh. I'm an adult and your basically considered a child. Huge difference. But there is nothing wrong with that. And when I say young (Which you are) I do include myself, but you are technically younger than me and your writing skills are probably better than mine. That's why I say "you have potential, especially at such a young age" because you're younger than me and you are most likely to get you book published because your English is better. Now if it was Spanish, its a whole different ball game ;)

Oh and don't think when I say you're so young that I'm trying to size you. I personally rather be young again and re-do somethings.

Take that ha! You better feel bad after you read this.

Edited by user 02 December 2009 15:53:49(UTC)  | Reason: Not specified

Offline asdf  
#9 Posted : 02 December 2009 16:17:24(UTC)
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I wasnt trying to me mean, and I aint mad, I just think its funny how you love to point out your age so much. By, the way, there is barely 3 years difference in our age depending on what day your birthday is so dont feel your that far away from me. Lol, I knew what you meant, and I thank you for it too by the way.
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User is suspended until 16/05/4760 03:38:29(UTC) stephaniewazhere  
#10 Posted : 02 December 2009 16:26:35(UTC)
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asdf wrote:
I wasnt trying to me mean, and I aint mad, I just think its funny how you love to point out your age so much. By, the way, there is barely 3 years difference in our age depending on what day your birthday is so dont feel your that far away from me. Lol, I knew what you meant, and I thank you for it too by the way.


Dude you're making this a bigger deal than it actually is. The only reason I pointed out my age is because of what you stated. You are indeed a lot younger than I am. And there are many things I can do and have done that you probably haven't done yet. Anyway, next time I just wont say anything.
Offline asdf  
#11 Posted : 02 December 2009 16:33:56(UTC)
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Lol, I was trying to show you how much that I DIDNT care. Lol, guess I put it wrong.
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User is suspended until 16/05/4760 03:38:29(UTC) stephaniewazhere  
#12 Posted : 02 December 2009 16:36:13(UTC)
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asdf wrote:
Lol, I was trying to show you how much that I DIDNT care. Lol, guess I put it wrong.


Lol, the bed is calling you my friend. Good night!

Me? I'm going to bed too Liar
Offline asdf  
#13 Posted : 02 December 2009 16:39:00(UTC)
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Wat ever. :)
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Offline asdf  
#14 Posted : 02 December 2009 19:45:30(UTC)
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FULL PROLOGUE

The story that you are about to read is about an angel who was sent by God himself to save a world. I say “a world” because I am not talking about the world we know as Earth. I am speaking of the world known as Serapnoir. During Earths one thousandth year of existence, God created Serapnoir in hopes of improving upon a flawed design. It was meant to be the new beginning. Unfortunately though, the same mistake was made. Humans were chosen as the dominant creature and humans, by nature are doomed to bring forth their own destruction.

Its landscape is much like our own, ranging from vast flat lands, to high mountains and deep oceans. The lands inhabitants are very different however. There are animals that have an apes head but a horse’s body, called the Grogan, there are creatures that are like bears but over twenty feet tall called Kroaks, and there are even dragons that fly high in the sky above all the corrupted humans who crawl below. Many of these animals can even speak in the different human tongues and languages. Yes, Serapnoir is very different from Earth, but also very similar as you will soon find. God changed much, but kept the same basic principles. Oh the irony.

Serapnoir consists of many different nations, and people, and has had very much history in its eight hundred years before this story. This is the story of Amborn the Gallant and his duty as assigned by God to aid in the battle against another angel, named Zaleth the Dark. Zaleth was originally sent to look over a nation called Lamerith and its people and to make sure that they had food and water, for a healthy living. Zaleth however became corrupt with his own power, and now threatens to take over Lamerith completely. God watched with weary eyes as many different cities feel to Zaleth’s control, and after nearly seven years, decided that it was time to take action. He called upon Amborn, a wise and mighty angel who had often helped God when it came to sorting out the Book of Life.

Amborn was told what he must do, and only he knows the full extent of it. He was ordered to never tell anyone his secrets, or announce Gods existence for the consequences would be dire to the planned defeat of Zaleth. Amborn was sent to Serapnoir as a man who appeared to be in his mid-sixties with a long red beard which was the trend of all men at the time. He wore a simple dress rope of color blue, and a small hat made of silk sat upon his head. He would appear to be a wizard, and magic did exist upon Serapnoir and there were real wizards, but in reality his powers as an angel were much stronger, and he knew what they did not.

With a staff, and a sword, he walked upon the long hills on his way to Lamerith. He had been placed at the Mount Gibs which rises closest to the Heavens. He had nearly two hundred miles to walk, a distance that would nearly kill an ordinary man, but Amborn, like all angels war nearly immortal, only physical injury could kill Amborn’s body. Even then, he would rise back into Pintera, where the angel dwell and God would restore him. Only angels and God can kill other angels. With that said he made it to Lamerith and began his search for James of Ailforth.

Edited by user 02 December 2009 19:46:54(UTC)  | Reason: Not specified

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Offline Gildermershina  
#15 Posted : 02 December 2009 21:04:09(UTC)
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Man, this reminds me of my disastrously unwieldy high fantasy sci-fi epic for which I had planned out about 5,000 years of history, with the world Hiligarde and the fine nations of Nahrien, Coerien, Aeinecha, Indratar, Shraepia, Centra, Signa, Garulan, Andosien, Denor, Isari, Qoral and Oruna... Oh and and the edge of the world, where be actual dragons (you know, without wings) Red Ring Rocks. With a big map drawn out on 6 sheets of A2 paper and everything.

Alas, like everything else I do, it got abandoned because there was a detailed setting but no compelling story to tell there.
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Offline asdf  
#16 Posted : 02 December 2009 21:14:17(UTC)
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Lol, thats been the problem I have been faced with too, but I think I got it but we'll have to see.
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Offline Aj  
#17 Posted : 03 December 2009 05:37:07(UTC)
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I'm writing a story at the moment, about a guy who travels across a universe to another universe because of a test to see if a machine works so they can follow a scientist who's threatened to break down the walls dividing the universes, and it's pretty much about how the guy finds out that everything he believes in is wrong and it unravels to just some big multi-universal conspiracy theory that comes right down to him, and about his adventure as he tries to get home whilst travelling across galaxies in search of this on thing that can control everything pretty much, called the Numbarararar, which is what holds everything together in a kind of joint physic conciousness that binds every single living being together, even across universes which enables everyone to see the same thing because nothing's actually real and it's actually just a plan drawn up by the Numbarararar, and yeah basically that's it.

Sound's awful, but I'll post some shit up later maybe and you guys can see if you like it.
Offline Gildermershina  
#18 Posted : 03 December 2009 06:26:10(UTC)
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Aj wrote:
I'm writing a story at the moment, about a guy who travels across a universe to another universe because of a test to see if a machine works so they can follow a scientist who's threatened to break down the walls dividing the universes, and it's pretty much about how the guy finds out that everything he believes in is wrong and it unravels to just some big multi-universal conspiracy theory that comes right down to him, and about his adventure as he tries to get home whilst travelling across galaxies in search of this on thing that can control everything pretty much, called the Numbarararar, which is what holds everything together in a kind of joint physic conciousness that binds every single living being together, even across universes which enables everyone to see the same thing because nothing's actually real and it's actually just a plan drawn up by the Numbarararar, and yeah basically that's it.

Sound's awful, but I'll post some shit up later maybe and you guys can see if you like it.


That's like, almost the same as how my Nanowrimo this year was going to wrap up. Only it was a dude hopping through alternate realities with a malfunctioning device, chasing a version of himself, whilst simultaneously trying to escape a version of himself from another reality... Like, if he was jumping one reality over, the guy from the previous reality would be just jumping into that reality, while the guy from the reality he was jumping into was himself jumping one ahead, except he's actually not physically jumping into the new reality, just somewhere else in this one, but his mind is travelling and jumping into the next version of himself, the obvious eventuality of which is that if his device finally stops working, he won't be able to jump out of this reality when his alternate self jumps in, and then the next self and the next self, and eventually he's getting multiple versions of himself jumping into his mind at the same time...

So he's like, himself inside himself inside himself, in some hilarious 'pataphysical Russian doll structure.

Edited by user 03 December 2009 06:29:05(UTC)  | Reason: Just to clarify

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Offline Aj  
#19 Posted : 03 December 2009 06:28:43(UTC)
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Gildermershina wrote:
Aj wrote:
I'm writing a story at the moment, about a guy who travels across a universe to another universe because of a test to see if a machine works so they can follow a scientist who's threatened to break down the walls dividing the universes, and it's pretty much about how the guy finds out that everything he believes in is wrong and it unravels to just some big multi-universal conspiracy theory that comes right down to him, and about his adventure as he tries to get home whilst travelling across galaxies in search of this on thing that can control everything pretty much, called the Numbarararar, which is what holds everything together in a kind of joint physic conciousness that binds every single living being together, even across universes which enables everyone to see the same thing because nothing's actually real and it's actually just a plan drawn up by the Numbarararar, and yeah basically that's it.

Sound's awful, but I'll post some shit up later maybe and you guys can see if you like it.


That's like, almost the same as how my Nanowrimo this year was going to wrap up. Only it was a dude hopping through alternate realities with a malfunctioning device, chasing a version of himself, whilst simultaneously trying to escape a version of himself from another reality... Like, if he was jumping one reality over, the guy from the previous reality would be just jumping into that reality, while the guy from the reality he was jumping into was himself jumping one ahead, except he's actually not physically jumping into the new reality, just somewhere else in this one, but his mind is travelling and jumping into the next version of himself, the obvious eventuality of which is that if his device finally stops working, he won't be able to jump out of this reality when his alternate self jumps in, and then the next self and the next self, and eventually he's getting multiple versions of himself jumping into his mind at the same time...


Ahaa, well I do see a lot of myself in you. d'oh! ;)
Offline asdf  
#20 Posted : 03 December 2009 07:46:54(UTC)
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Aj wrote:
I'm writing a story at the moment, about a guy who travels across a universe to another universe because of a test to see if a machine works so they can follow a scientist who's threatened to break down the walls dividing the universes, and it's pretty much about how the guy finds out that everything he believes in is wrong and it unravels to just some big multi-universal conspiracy theory that comes right down to him, and about his adventure as he tries to get home whilst travelling across galaxies in search of this on thing that can control everything pretty much, called the Numbarararar, which is what holds everything together in a kind of joint physic conciousness that binds every single living being together, even across universes which enables everyone to see the same thing because nothing's actually real and it's actually just a plan drawn up by the Numbarararar, and yeah basically that's it.

Sound's awful, but I'll post some shit up later maybe and you guys can see if you like it.


I think it sounds really good, as long as you structure it right, it should turn out awesome. :)
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