IN DEPTH PROFILES
Leon "Vocals" Henderson
Created in 1983 by Mr. and Mrs. Henderson, Leon began singing or "vocalizing", as he calls it, at the tender age of 22 after he discovered the acoustic properties of his shower. To this day Leon says ever since this earth-shattering revelation, he is not comfortable performing fully clothed. “It's like, writing with the wrong hand, you know? I've tried to do it normal, but I'm always like, 'Why am I wearing this shirt or these pants or this codpiece?' then I, ya know, go for it, and then I can relax. I tell ya man, there's nothing like beltin' out something in just socks, a headband, and a very long and wide tie, it's downright liberating." Unfortunately, this has caused Sage Thrasher to be banned in a number of cities, states, and in one case, from the country of Liechtenstein.
Jimmy Von Noodlenose
An insatiable hunger for noise fills Jimmy, often exploding as a long string of expletives. Having previously tried anger management with disastrous results, Jimmy has since enrolled in an anger expression course to better utilize his unbridled rage. “I really don’t know why I get like that sometimes, I mean don’t get me wrong, I f*****g love it! I can’t even f*****g begin to f*****g count how many guitars I’ve f****d up because they sounded like if an a******k s**t out a l********n that was strummin’ a g*****n ukulele! And I’m not apologizing for my language, ya p***y p*****g prudes!” Subsequently, Jimmy is required by court order to have his mouth duct taped shut when the band might be around young children, preachers, or the elderly.
Horton Q
Full name Horton Gordon Quimberly, “Q,” as he is affectionately called, is the band’s main songwriter. With such lines like “I’m the Tiki god of Minneapolis” and “moustaches are the only things that truly frighten me,” one wonders were Horton gets his inspiration. “Well, I start with a bottle of liquor and a wooden board, I take a shot and then hit myself in the head with the board, when I start seeing triple, then I start writin’. Also drugs, lots and lots o’ drugs, I really can’t stress the drugs part enough.” Horton’s idols are Sid Vicious as a bassist, Bob Dylan as a lyricist, and Cthulu as a deity.
Jon 'Replaceable" Jones 
Easily the most talented member of the band, which is kind of like being the thinnest kid at fat camp, Jon Jones was given the nickname “Replaceable” as the band had gone though twelve drummers in three months. Being incredibly superstitious, Jon immediately took it as a bad omen and began to practice feverishly. “I mean, you don’t think they’d ever actually do away with me do you? The guy before me was real solid and they’ve talked about getting him back. I can’t go back to pumpin’ gas! I gotta go work on the set some more.” It should come at no surprise that Jon is an avid conspiracy theorist and is convinced that octopus-people from Jupiter are dumping cyanide into the water for tongue-control purposes.
Edited by user 20 February 2010 15:42:23(UTC)
| Reason: Not specified
