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Synxhard		#1 Posted : 08 March 2010 09:02:48(UTC)
Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Registered Joined: 03/04/2009(UTC) Posts: 1,433 Location: Seattle Thanks: 22 times Was thanked: 33 time(s) in 16 post(s)		OOC: This is a diary for Jimmy Sullivan, guitarist of Black Gold Reign. Figured since everyone's kinda doing personal rps, I would too. This is set as him talking to a diary. The cast (a.k.a. partners in crime): Jimmy Sullivan: Lead guitarist for BGR, main character in this play of hell. Corey Di'Antonio: Drummer of BGR, Jimmy's toxic twin, who shares every addiction - except heroin. Matt Carver: Rhythm guitarist/singer of BGR David Demmel: Bassist of BGR Christa Sullivan: Jimmy's mother Jenny Comer: Jimmy's little sister Tom Reese: Jimmy's grandfather Jason Duke: Long time drug dealer for Jimmy Luke McKay: Manager of BGR Tim Thaler: Luke McKay's partner Tuesday: Jimmy's girlfriend, occasional Playboy model Chris Knox: A&R man who got BGR signed Fred Saunders: Ex-Hell's Angel, head security for BGR Randy Angel: Former junkie turned drug counselor Brian Hanson: Ex-guitarist of The Wicker Man and Jimmy's "little brother he never had" Sally McLaughgin: Former girlfriend of Brian Hanson Karen Dumont: Record label employee Lucas Smith: Neighbor and occasionally Jimmy's partner in crime Rick Jones: Photographer for BGR Jim Bryce: BGR Publicist Tim Luzzi: Jimmy's guitar tech Mark Morton: Guitarist for Lamb Of God and boyhood hero of Jimmy's (OOC: I don't give a damn that he's a real person) Travis Heafy: Producer of 'Archetype' James Michael: Jimmy's occasional song-writing partner December: December 25th, 2009 - Long Beach, 7:30 P.M. Merry Christmas, Well, that's what people say at Christmas, right? Except normally, they have someone to say it to. They have their friends and family all around them. They haven't been crouched naked under a Christmas tree with a needle in their arm like an insane person in a mansion in Long Beach. They're not out of their minds and writing in a diary and they're not watching their holiday spirit coagulating in a spoon. I didn't speak to a single person today.... I thought of calling Randy, but why should I ruin his Christmas? I guess I've decided to start a diary again for a few reasons.... 1.I have no friends left 2. So I can read back and remember what I did the day before. 3. So if I die, at least I leave a paper trail of my life (nice lil suicide note). Merry Christmas.... it's just you and me, diary. Welcome to my life. December 26th, 2009 - Long Beach, 2:10 A.M. Jason came over again today. I was touched.... so there is a Santa Clause after all. He came mooching in, with his greasy James Dean hair and his junkie eyes that are sunk so deep in his elongated face that he looks like he's wearing makeup, and he stood by the tree and asked me how my Christmas had been. Like he cares..... like he doesn't know already that it was exactly the same as his. Sometimes Jason pisses me off when he tries to make small talk. He asked me how much gear I wanted, and I asked, how much have you got? And he gave me this contemptuous, sneering look and said, that must be nice... His Betty Page-wannabe Goth girlfriend Anastasia isn't much better. Oh, she's nice enuff, but I know on the inside I'm just her meal ticket to an easier, softer life. I know she tells Jason to jump when I call cause she, more than he, wants the money. Not just for the junk, they make enuff of me to maintain their cheap little habits, but she likes to decorate their cheap one-room rat's nest with the extra money they have left over. That's the real reason she demands they come at my beck and call... she likes the extra cash for thrift shops and second hand stores. I see her as a sort of Suzie Homemaker from Hell, but it's all just a fantasy - she's stuck with a habit too.... December 27th, 2009 - Long Beach, 4:10 A.M. The best part of freebase is before the first hit. I love that moment, right before I put that glass pipe to my lips.... that moment when everything is sane, and the craving, the salivating, the excitement all feel fresh and innocent. It's like foreplay... the ache that's always better than the orgasm. Yet as soon as I hit the pipe, within 30 seconds all hell breaks lose in my brain.... and I keep on doing it and doing it and doing it and doing it and doing it, and I can't stop. Every day that I sit here and write, it's always the same. So - why? Why do I do this? I hate it.... I hate it so much, but I love it more. The worst part of freebase is running out. But I have a new jones - speed balls of any kind. The junk just isn't enough anymore.... I feel like I'm only halfway there.... December 28th, 2009 - Long Beach, 9:40 P.M. After I binged last night - or was it tonight? - I was convinced yet again there were people coming to get me. It was more than just shadows and voices, more than just fantasies.... it was real, and I was scared to my core. My bones were shaking.... my heart was pounding..... I thought I was going to explode. I'm glad I have you to talk to, to write this down.... I tried to keep it all together, but then I gave into the madness and became one with my insanity..... I always end up in the closet in my bedroom. Let me tell you about that place, my closet. It's more than a closet - it's a haven for me. It's where I keep my dope and where I keep my gun. I know when I'm in there I'm safe, at least until I get too high. I can't be out in the house - there are too many windows and I know I'm being watched. Right now it seems impossible that cops are peering in from the trees outside or people are looking at me thru the peephole at the front door. But when the drugs kick in I can't control my mind...... Today, last night feels like a life time ago. But the sick thing is I could do it again tonight. Edited by user 08 March 2010 14:08:33(UTC) \| Reason: Not specified


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_Python_		#2 Posted : 08 March 2010 14:02:57(UTC)
Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Registered Joined: 11/02/2009(UTC) Posts: 871 Thanks: 144 times Was thanked: 106 time(s) in 73 post(s)		OOC: Not bad. Except post your new additions in new posts to this thread. Otherwise, no one will ever see it because it will be buried under the other thousand of threads that don't get replied to. You get what I'm saying?



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Synxhard		#3 Posted : 08 March 2010 14:09:57(UTC)
Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Registered Joined: 03/04/2009(UTC) Posts: 1,433 Location: Seattle Thanks: 22 times Was thanked: 33 time(s) in 16 post(s)		OOC: Yeah, I was thinking of doing a new post for every month, and just posting a message like 'January 5th-8th' up or something. And thanks man.


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_Python_		#4 Posted : 08 March 2010 14:12:09(UTC)
Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Registered Joined: 11/02/2009(UTC) Posts: 871 Thanks: 144 times Was thanked: 106 time(s) in 73 post(s)		Synxhard wrote: OOC: Yeah, I was thinking of doing a new post for every month, and just posting a message like 'January 5th-8th' up or something. And thanks man. OOC: Just do a new post every day. It'll make it easier on me and you. Because you wouldn't have to dig through to find it to add something to it, and I wouldn't have to dig through to read it. Kapeesh :P?



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Synxhard		#5 Posted : 08 March 2010 14:13:20(UTC)
Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Registered Joined: 03/04/2009(UTC) Posts: 1,433 Location: Seattle Thanks: 22 times Was thanked: 33 time(s) in 16 post(s)		OOC: True, guess that'll be the plan then.


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Synxhard		#6 Posted : 08 March 2010 17:32:27(UTC)
Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Registered Joined: 03/04/2009(UTC) Posts: 1,433 Location: Seattle Thanks: 22 times Was thanked: 33 time(s) in 16 post(s)		OOC: Criticism is appreciated. Yep, I've sunk to comment whoring. Spend to much time planning out and doing these damn rps, but I'm gonna stick with this one.


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bikz		#7 Posted : 08 March 2010 17:53:01(UTC)
Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Moderators, Registered Joined: 11/02/2009(UTC) Posts: 6,039 Location: Bikiribati Thanks: 129 times Was thanked: 94 time(s) in 78 post(s)		Synxhard wrote: OOC: Criticism is appreciated. Yep, I've sunk to comment whoring. Spend to much time planning out and doing these damn rps, but I'm gonna stick with this one. OOC : Comment whoring is totally in. ;) I like what you've got so far, the diary format is a bit of a change - a welcome one. Keep going! (:
		There is only one Rockstar Game - and it's your home! <-- still true (: joshy, neon bras and full frontal neck nuzzling \| blacked out by sean smith's neck \| startled by joshy's furry presence
		WWW BLOG

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Synxhard		#8 Posted : 11 March 2010 10:44:33(UTC)
Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Registered Joined: 03/04/2009(UTC) Posts: 1,433 Location: Seattle Thanks: 22 times Was thanked: 33 time(s) in 16 post(s)		December 29th, 2009 - Long Beach, 4:30 PM I've been thinking about last Christmas Eve when I picked up that girl in a strip club, brought her back here on my bike, took her home the next day, then had Christmas dinner all by myself at McDonalds. I haven't made much progress I see.... Today I'm listening to Exodus, reading, laying around..... tanning in the backyard, naked.... today I feel like my old self. Sometimes it feels like there are 2 sides to my personality. January - "One Could Say I've Been Having a 10cc Love Affair" January 1st, 2010 - Long Beach, 6 AM Tuesday showed up yesterday with a mountain of coke.... it kind of altered the day. I'd been doing good until that point. I'd got a good night's sleep for the first time in days. I'd even managed to take a shower and pick up my guitar. But since this is a new diary, let me tell you about Tuesday.... she used to be a model for Playboy, or so she says. We met for all the wrong reasons and have only one real thing in common - drugs. I mean, she's a sweet girl, as much as I'm a sweet guy. She has flowing blond hair and icy blue eyes and the ability to look stunning, but usually, like me, looks like hell. As they say, misfits attract misfits.... truer words could not be said. BGR is back in the studio next week and I told the guys I have some new songs. The truth is I haven't written much of anything. I just can't seem to focus on anything these days other than.... the usual. So we did a few lines while Tuesday cooked up the base. She was talking, talking, talking about us going out tonight for New Year's Eve, but both of us new we were going nowhere. The more she talked, the more all I could hear was my head talking.... the craving, a wet palate, for a hit on that glass pipe.... it was beautiful and ugly at the same time. Then everything went wrong, just like it always does. The base fucked up Tuesday's head and she started speaking in riddles, ranting on about Jesus and spirituality like she was still at the fucking Playboy mansion, or something.... she was making no sense and I just couldn't take it, so I started yelling at her to go fuck herself and fuck Jesus and get the fuck out of my house. Then she was gone and I was back in my closet with my grandfather's gun pointed at the door, needles and dirty spoons on the floor.... terrified because people had slid under my front door like vapor and were in the house and were coming to get me. I fucking hate that stuff. I'm ok now but nobody would believe what happens inside my head.... it's haunted. Now that I've come down it seems like a sick play I saw in a theater. Thirty minutes ago I could've killed somebody, or better myself. Now I'm ok.... I need a padded cell, I'm telling you. Oh yeah.... Happy New Year..... Long Beach, 11:30 AM Here comes the New Year.... same as the old year? Pete said I really should open those Christmas presents soon...


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Cooper		#9 Posted : 11 March 2010 18:52:17(UTC)
Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Registered Joined: 09/03/2010(UTC) Posts: 60 Location: chicago		OOC: DAMN! this is some serious Role Play! good writing! now i feel like like feeble attempts at RP are wasting everyone's time! good stuff
		...................................................................................................................... Aaron Cooper. guitar, vocals Brandon Fisher. guitar, backing vocals Tom Popps. Bass guitar Don Cafe. Drums


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Synxhard		#10 Posted : 12 March 2010 08:45:25(UTC)
Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Registered Joined: 03/04/2009(UTC) Posts: 1,433 Location: Seattle Thanks: 22 times Was thanked: 33 time(s) in 16 post(s)		OOC: Thanks man, glad you enjoyed it.


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PANIC!		#11 Posted : 12 March 2010 14:21:32(UTC)
Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Registered Joined: 13/02/2009(UTC) Posts: 5,314 Thanks: 3306 times Was thanked: 2741 time(s) in 1013 post(s)		OOC: Shit that's one good ass roleplay. I've attempted to do these personal rp's for RRH and stuff but they never turn out as I expect them to and I just end up deleting them.



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Synxhard		#12 Posted : 12 March 2010 14:41:55(UTC)
Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Registered Joined: 03/04/2009(UTC) Posts: 1,433 Location: Seattle Thanks: 22 times Was thanked: 33 time(s) in 16 post(s)		OOC: Thanks, just hoping I don't kill my self from stress in the process. I've already planned out up to March, and I don't think the combination of rp and waiting to discover what college I got accepted to is good for my health. I dunno, so far it's shaping up a bit cliche for what I was aiming for, but really glad you liked it.


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Synxhard		#13 Posted : 13 March 2010 10:56:23(UTC)
Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Registered Joined: 03/04/2009(UTC) Posts: 1,433 Location: Seattle Thanks: 22 times Was thanked: 33 time(s) in 16 post(s)		January 3rd, 2010 - Long Beach, 5:20 PM Dear diary, here's a typical holiday in my rock star paradise. Wake up around noon.... if I've been to bed. See if I'm alone. If I'm with someone else, try to remember what her name is - but that hasn't been happening to much lately. Girls have kinda stopped coming around.... Crawl out of bed, feel hungover or dope sick. Wipe last night out of my eyes. Wonder if I need to shower. Decide that I don't.... I'll only get dirty again. On a good day, pick up my guitar. On a bad day, flop in front of MTV. Most days, do both. Do a little bump to wake me up. Some people use coffee for that.... we all have our little rituals. Then it starts.... The itch starts. The coke makes me edgy, so I have a little sniff of my breakfast blend and a valium or two to calm me down. But I need Jason. If his answering machine is on, I sit here twitching until he phones back. When the phone rings - if it's Jason - it's the best thing in the world. If it's not, I want the person at the other end of the line to die. Sometimes I wonder if they know that I'm strung out, and they're calling just to torture me. And when Jason doesn't call at all? That's when the fucking joneses start. Being dope sick is the worst feeling in the world. I hope it never happens to you. Unless you have it coming.... I could name a few. When you're junk sick, you'll do just about anything for a fix. It's all you think about..... it haunts you. Eventually I go to my cottons, squeeze some lemon juice on them, and try to ring out a few cc's. I've done it all. Once I even shot up some weird stuff I found stuck in the bushes outside a drug dealer's house - then I found out it wasn't some lucky find on my part, it was fucking crystallized brown sugar. Man, I'd thought I'd hit the mother load when I saw that baggy. But when Jason finally shows up, he makes everything better. It's like he's got the power to heal.... and that prick shows his power every chance he gets. January 4th, 2010 - Long Beach, Midnight Randy Angel came over tonight. We drank a few veers, had a couple lines..... Randy's a good guy. He gets fucked up with me but he's not like me.... he's normal. January 5th, 2010 - Long Beach, 9:30 PM Listening to Sepultura and Cannibal Corpse. Wow. Amazing. Then mix in some Lamb Of God or Maiden. The it's the first Megadeth album.... I love music.... this is life, like Burroughs, or Kerouac, or Ginsberg... the flames who burn bright. Other people hide away from life. People like me, or Nikki Sixx, or Keith Richards - we live it. We're right here, feeling everything, in the moment..... the only way to be fully alive is to confront your mortality.... January 8th, 2010 - Long Beach, 3:25 AM Sometimes, if I didn't know better.... I'd think that my dealer is trying to kill me. 10:00 AM Pete won't admit it, but he's got a habit too.... Lost lyric: Little mean faces Here I sit in the dark Letting my insanity run away Chanting rhythms of my fate I know they're not real And I'm sure I'm really quite sane Because if I was crazy I would've given them all little names Noon TO-DO List Buy Guitar Strings Buy Food Call Management Back Return Decorator's Call Get More Locks For The Doors Replace Busted Back Window


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bikz		#14 Posted : 13 March 2010 11:01:12(UTC)
Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Moderators, Registered Joined: 11/02/2009(UTC) Posts: 6,039 Location: Bikiribati Thanks: 129 times Was thanked: 94 time(s) in 78 post(s)		OOC : Brilliant work as usual, getting better every time, love the lyric snippet! :D
		There is only one Rockstar Game - and it's your home! <-- still true (: joshy, neon bras and full frontal neck nuzzling \| blacked out by sean smith's neck \| startled by joshy's furry presence
		WWW BLOG

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Synxhard		#15 Posted : 13 March 2010 12:01:35(UTC)
Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Registered Joined: 03/04/2009(UTC) Posts: 1,433 Location: Seattle Thanks: 22 times Was thanked: 33 time(s) in 16 post(s)		OOC: Thanks, think I'm getting the hang of it a bit more. Lyrics are always a trouble for me, spent a good 2 hours on those. Gah, my stress is through the roof, but for some reason I can't help but continue to pile stuff on. Really happy you like it so far.


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