Ok so im currently wotken on a solo project and sooner or later itll be up on Myspace. But i have song lyrics here and wanted some feedback

I can still remember Ya remember when you were mine
I miss you so bad
You were my friend
You were my love

Why’d you have too go
So Baby please come back too me
Two months has been too long with out you
So come back to me before you fall behind it all

You stole my heart and that’s one thing ill never get back
I saw your name in lights
Please come back and together we can take the world by storm
I came to your house but you still weren’t there come back to me

Why’d you have too go
So Baby please come back too me
Two months has been too long with out you
So come back to me before you fall behind it all

Cause it’s all my fault that your gone
I should have never said those things to you
We can battle together we can fight this
I would die for you
But now that your gone a part of me is missing

You stole my heart and that’s one thing ill never get back
I saw your name in lights
Please come back and together we can take the world by storm
I came to your house but you still weren’t there come back to me


Please be brutaly honest

Brutally honest? Reading that made me sick...so sappy and soft and horribly generic. Good god. Not even Bryan Adams puts that much cheese on his songs.

Edited by user 04 April 2010 01:39:28(UTC)  | Reason: Not specified

So bubblegum I got a cavity

I think that's a song could make some money.

But I wouldn't post lyrics on here because the people here are kinda biased

And the song could get stolen

Pretty okay, although I can barely write anything better! xD

I'm not biased, good lyrics are good lyrics.I'm not much of a lyric writer either though dude so sorry for insulting you.

Is that not essentially what he's done here? ;)

Some people are born or raised up with the ability to rhyme (as in they rhyme automatically when they write).
And that's the challenge of writing a song if you're trying to send a specific message. How do you write a song that rhymes and sounds well but still contains the message you're trying to send. but that is not always the case. Some people write a song for swagger purposes or to just simply write something that doesn't really have much substance.

You ought to check out some bands where romance is what most of their songs are about, but manage to have original lyrics. That should offer up some inspiration. :)

Here's my memory
Of which there is none
Of when I achieved
Powers of destruction
I wish that I knew
So I could hold back
And I would not cause
The bottle to crack
Show what I lack in love
Is more than a Molotov

Something old something new
Won't change the fact that I want you
Something borrowed something blue
Won't change a thing I still want you

And then I saw light
From embers to flames
The cocktail that drove
My true love insane
Can I kiss it better
Or stick on a plaster
The lump is growing in my throat
There's a disaster afloat

Something old something new
Won't change the fact that I want you
Something borrowed something blue
Won't change a thing I still want you
Another cocktail comes my way
The Molotov was thrown yesterday

Just goes to show that if you fall in love
Scramble out of that pothole fast
Because it'll never last
It'll never last
Ready aim and fire

Something old something new
Won't change the fact that I want you
Something borrowed something blue
Won't change a thing I still want you
Something old something new
Won't change the fact that I want you
Something borrowed something blue
Won't change a thing I still want you
Another cocktail comes my way
The Molotov was thrown yesterday

-"Molotov Cocktail" .... a love song on the same subject as what Mattt wrote. With a few interesting lines. (:

Edited by user 06 April 2010 23:16:44(UTC)  | Reason: Not specified