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Offline chopper1156  
#1 Posted : 02 June 2010 09:58:04(UTC)
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WARNING THIS IS A COPY AND PASTE!!!!!!


Why Santa Can't exist

Sorry to say, but here's why. You must be over 12 to read this

1) No known species of reindeer can fly, but there are 300,000 species of organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not completely rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.

2) There are 2 billion children (defined as persons under 18) in the world; However, since Santa doesn't appear to handle Muslim, Hindu, Jewish, or Buddhist children, that reduces the workload down to 15% of the original total - 378 million according to the Population Reference Bureau. At an average census rate of 3.5 children per household, that's only 91.8 million homes. One presumes that there is at least one good child in each.

3) Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west. This works out to 822.6 visits per second. That is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chiminey, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chiminey, get back into the sleigh, and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which we know to be false but will accept for the purpose of these calculations), we are talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus eating, etc. This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second. A conventional reindeer can run 15 miles per hour at the most.

4) The payload on the sleigh add another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-size set of Lego building blocks (about two pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that flying reindeer exist (see point 1), can fly very quickly (see point 2), and can pull ten times the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine, reindeer. We would need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparision, this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth 2.

5) 353,000 tons travelling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance. This would heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they would burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within .00426 seconds. Santa, meanwhile, would be subjected to forces 17,500 times greater than normal gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force. In conclusion, if Santa ever did deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now. Merry Christmas.

Edited by user 03 June 2010 09:20:10(UTC)  | Reason: Not specified

Old Successes

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Iron Hammer
Till Death Do Us Part

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Offline genocidal king  
#2 Posted : 02 June 2010 10:03:59(UTC)
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If ever there was a less logical time to post an unfunny christmas related thread than June...
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Offline chopper1156  
#3 Posted : 02 June 2010 10:11:52(UTC)
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And?
Old Successes

The Rebels
Iron Hammer
Till Death Do Us Part

Now-Act Of God-New Wave of American Heavy Metal/Nu-Metal

Sounds like-Slipknot, Avenged Sevenfold, Stone Sour, Godsmack, Black Label Society, Black Sabbath, and Ozzy.

Signed to-Monk on Fire Music

Jason Wilson
Connor McWilliams
Geo
Sebastian
Alex Walkman

Nominated for Best Band at the 21st IMAS/Birdies
Offline genocidal king  
#4 Posted : 02 June 2010 10:12:34(UTC)
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and it was pish
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Offline Paradox  
#5 Posted : 02 June 2010 10:20:47(UTC)
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Oh.. that concerns everyone. How old are you? Nine?
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Mod Edit - you failed...


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Offline genocidal king  
#6 Posted : 02 June 2010 10:21:52(UTC)
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Paradox wrote:
Oh.. that concerns everyone. How old are you? Nine?



Me? Im 22 mate, thanks for the enquiry :)
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Offline Paradox  
#7 Posted : 02 June 2010 10:23:34(UTC)
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genocidal king wrote:
Paradox wrote:
Oh.. that concerns everyone. How old are you? Nine?



Me? Im 22 mate, thanks for the enquiry :)


I meant the other dude, but you're welcome.. I guess.
RP bands:
Insolent Paradox - Progressive [Forum Thread] - Post-production
Oceans - Fusion Jazz - Writing

stephaniewazhere wrote:
I'm failing? I'm failing??????? LMAO!!!!!!



Mod Edit - you failed...


Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room.
Offline genocidal king  
#8 Posted : 02 June 2010 10:27:38(UTC)
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Paradox wrote:
genocidal king wrote:
Paradox wrote:
Oh.. that concerns everyone. How old are you? Nine?



Me? Im 22 mate, thanks for the enquiry :)


I meant the other dude, but you're welcome.. I guess.



Cool, its nice to reaffirm one's age sometimes anyway...false alarm though
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Offline Rincewind  
#9 Posted : 02 June 2010 10:29:25(UTC)
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I hate it when people see me at the supermarket and they are like:
Hey, what are you doing here?
and im just like:
Oh you know, hunting elephants
Offline Synxhard  
#10 Posted : 02 June 2010 10:46:05(UTC)
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Um, okay, other than posting what seems like a shit load of copy and paste info off some corner of the internet, I'm missing the point. I'm going to assume everyone here has known this for a fact for some time now, so only one thing left to do....

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Offline chopper1156  
#11 Posted : 02 June 2010 11:42:04(UTC)
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Synxhard wrote:
Um, okay, other than posting what seems like a shit load of copy and paste info off some corner of the internet, I'm missing the point. I'm going to assume everyone here has known this for a fact for some time now, so only one thing left to do....

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It is copy and paste! lol
Old Successes

The Rebels
Iron Hammer
Till Death Do Us Part

Now-Act Of God-New Wave of American Heavy Metal/Nu-Metal

Sounds like-Slipknot, Avenged Sevenfold, Stone Sour, Godsmack, Black Label Society, Black Sabbath, and Ozzy.

Signed to-Monk on Fire Music

Jason Wilson
Connor McWilliams
Geo
Sebastian
Alex Walkman

Nominated for Best Band at the 21st IMAS/Birdies
Offline chopper1156  
#12 Posted : 02 June 2010 11:43:30(UTC)
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Paradox wrote:
Oh.. that concerns everyone. How old are you? Nine?


13 :P
Old Successes

The Rebels
Iron Hammer
Till Death Do Us Part

Now-Act Of God-New Wave of American Heavy Metal/Nu-Metal

Sounds like-Slipknot, Avenged Sevenfold, Stone Sour, Godsmack, Black Label Society, Black Sabbath, and Ozzy.

Signed to-Monk on Fire Music

Jason Wilson
Connor McWilliams
Geo
Sebastian
Alex Walkman

Nominated for Best Band at the 21st IMAS/Birdies
Offline ALX  
#13 Posted : 02 June 2010 14:21:39(UTC)
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chopper1156 wrote:
Paradox wrote:
Oh.. that concerns everyone. How old are you? Nine?


13 :P

y yo tambien!
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*Shotgun clicks*

Dont mess with prog

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Offline Captain Insano  
#14 Posted : 02 June 2010 20:17:41(UTC)
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Utterly unreadable. Does your keyboard have a spacebar?
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_____________
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Everyone is entitled to an opinion, it's just that your's is stupid.
Offline chopper1156  
#15 Posted : 03 June 2010 09:21:11(UTC)
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Captain Insano wrote:
Utterly unreadable. Does your keyboard have a spacebar?


Maybe you need your eyes checked out, or you could zoom in, that always works for me
Old Successes

The Rebels
Iron Hammer
Till Death Do Us Part

Now-Act Of God-New Wave of American Heavy Metal/Nu-Metal

Sounds like-Slipknot, Avenged Sevenfold, Stone Sour, Godsmack, Black Label Society, Black Sabbath, and Ozzy.

Signed to-Monk on Fire Music

Jason Wilson
Connor McWilliams
Geo
Sebastian
Alex Walkman

Nominated for Best Band at the 21st IMAS/Birdies
Offline C4AJoh  
#16 Posted : 03 June 2010 09:25:11(UTC)
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Way to ruin Christmas dude, it will never be the same now.
Offline The Nimrods  
#17 Posted : 03 June 2010 10:46:13(UTC)
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Ok, now I'm nice to children usually I love kids but, YOU'RE FUCKING RETARDED.
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xNightsidex wrote:
Sooo...

What's everyone else do in the real world?


Sell pot and jerk off

JK, or am i?


At the same time?


Rincewind wrote:
Synxhard wrote:
I don't believe in jeans...


well your shit out of luck because they believe in you.....

Offline Rincewind  
#18 Posted : 03 June 2010 10:51:55(UTC)
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Santa can exist and does exist......
he is magical
I hate it when people see me at the supermarket and they are like:
Hey, what are you doing here?
and im just like:
Oh you know, hunting elephants
Offline chopper1156  
#19 Posted : 03 June 2010 11:13:00(UTC)
chopper1156
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The Nimrods wrote:
Ok, now I'm nice to children usually I love kids but, YOU'RE FUCKING RETARDED.


Lol I love you to

p.s Funny cuz it was all scientific fact and you said it was retarded :D
Old Successes

The Rebels
Iron Hammer
Till Death Do Us Part

Now-Act Of God-New Wave of American Heavy Metal/Nu-Metal

Sounds like-Slipknot, Avenged Sevenfold, Stone Sour, Godsmack, Black Label Society, Black Sabbath, and Ozzy.

Signed to-Monk on Fire Music

Jason Wilson
Connor McWilliams
Geo
Sebastian
Alex Walkman

Nominated for Best Band at the 21st IMAS/Birdies
Offline troy211619  
#20 Posted : 03 June 2010 11:56:08(UTC)
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chopper1156 wrote:
The Nimrods wrote:
Ok, now I'm nice to children usually I love kids but, YOU'RE FUCKING RETARDED.


Lol I love you to

p.s Funny cuz it was all scientific fact and you said it was retarded :D

Tis retarded since you posted something about Santa in June..
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