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Offline erich hess  
#1 Posted : 13 June 2010 15:08:33(UTC)
erich hess
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rolling stoned

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nina sangria
guitar

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erica hess
vocals

rolling stoned:our next interview is with dutch punkers,the harlots!

studio audience:dead silence,except for a few crickets and a cough

nina:well, fuck you guys too then!

erica:now now,nina.i doubt anyone outside of holland has heard of us.

nina:that's still no excuse to be rude,love.

erica:true.*makes face at the audience*

rolling stoned::if you dont mind,the interview?

nina:oh.carry on then.

rolling stoned:so why havent we heard from the harlots until now?

erica:we've been busy.

rolling stoned....doing?

erica:stuff.

nina:and things.when we werent doing stuff,we most certainly were doing things.

rolling stoned:*sighs* seriously,dont bust my balls.

erica:are you into that sorta thing?

rolling stoned:no!

nina:eeew.he is.i could tell by those beady little eyes.

erica:i got a hammer back in the dressing room.i'll give 'em a good wack for twenty bucks.

rolling stoned:absolutely not!

nina:what are you saying,erica isnt good enough to smack your yarbles around?

erica:you got a problem old man?

rolling stoned:no i dont have a problem.i just dont want someone hitting my testicles with a hammer! what's so hard about that?

nina:how about me?

rolling stoned:how about you for what?

nina:the hammer thing.hell,i'll do it for free,love.

rolling stoned:no! i dont want anyone hitting my balls with anything!

erica:you dont have to yell,we were just asking a simple question.

nina:yeah,if i was as old and close to death as you,i'd be alot kinder.you know,karma and all that rot.

rolling stoned:ok,enough of this pointless side commentary!

erica:does being a rolling stoned host pay well?

nina:you kidding,love? pimp glasses like that dont come cheap.

rolling stoned.ok,one more comment like that,and this interview is over,got it?

erica:rowrz.ok ok.

rolling stoned:*shuffling papers* it says you guys play '77 style punk rock.excuse me for saying.....you guys dont look very punk rock.

erica:what's in a look? i guess we could have mohawks,spikes,bondage pants ,etc etc.but why? i drive a fiat panda.a mohawk wouldnt fit.

nina:for the record, i look fabulous with a mohawk.

erica:it's true.she does.

rolling stoned:i've heard you are aiming to play the animal fest,any truth to this?

erica:there's truth to anything if you factor in alternate universes and quantum mechanics.

nina:one thing,can you still get it up?

rolling stoned:ok.you two are done.off my set.

erica:you cant dismiss us,we quit!!
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"I'm not saying its even a good thing to own a chimpanzee. But that's freedom, folks." Alex Jones.
Offline Ronny Rocken  
#2 Posted : 13 June 2010 20:46:41(UTC)
Ronny Rocken
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Ronny: Now now, don't be too hard on the guy. It's hard to be so old and know he won't have a chance on pretty girls like yourself. At the same time, it's fun like hell to tease them till they explode.
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Offline Bobby Cairo  
#3 Posted : 17 June 2010 16:39:31(UTC)
Bobby Cairo
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Bobby Cairo is seated in a cushy leather chair behind a sprawling mahogany desktop that is filled with papers, knickknacks and even a metronome.

Bobby Cairo: Erica Hess, though lovely in all of her forms, changes her look more often than Madonna changes her outfits...and her look.

Cairo picks up a coffee mug from his desk and takes a deep sip of the brew.

Bobby Cairo: Ha-cha-cha that's good hoodoo.

Cairo places the mug back down onto the desk.

Bobby Cairo: I have battled The Harlots many times through the years. Sometimes I've been victorious and other times I've been defeated, but none of those battles were boring and none of them were easy. Clearly, The Harlots have what it takes to be successful in this business. The question is, can they put it all together? I'm not talking about gumption because I know that The Harlots possess gumption in spades, I'm talking about management. I'm talking about representation. In this business you need a promotional machine behind you.

Cairo gazes at the framed accolades that hang upon his wall.

Bobby Cairo: The University of Connecticut School of Business. What does it mean to you, ladies? Here's what it means to me: Of all the public institutions of higher learning in New England, the University of Connecticut has the finest business school. That document that hangs upon my wall establishes that I am a graduate of the UConn School of Business. What does that mean to you, ladies? Here's what it means to me: I'm putting my education to good use by starting my very own record label.

Cairo leans back in his cushy leather office chair, a proud smile beaming across his face.

Bobby Cairo: It's not an easy task in 2010, starting a record label and making it work. The global economy is in the toilet, the music industry is in a state of flux. It takes a special kind of person with their wits about them to make ends meet these days. It takes a special understanding of business and a special ear for talent.

Cairo sits up straight in his chair, a serious look now on his face.

Bobby Cairo: I'm going to take a page out of Joe Hollywood's book and cut straight to the chase, ladies. I want The Harlots to be the first act to sign with my label, Bee's Knees Industries. I think, no, no...I know that together we can accomplish anything. We can clean up the Gulf Coast oil spill. We can hammer out a peace agreement in the Middle East. We can even get Hollywood to stop churning out shitty remakes of cheesy 80's movies and TV shows.

Cairo takes a deep breath and looks straight into your eyes.

Bobby Cairo: Erica, Nina...what do you say, ladies? I know that we haven't always seen eye to eye, but now more than ever the world needs us. Will you join me?

Cairo's baby blue eyes have never looked more earnest than they do in this moment.

Edited by user 17 June 2010 16:42:23(UTC)  | Reason: Not specified

Offline Andre Gandra  
#4 Posted : 18 June 2010 10:13:02(UTC)
Andre Gandra
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Yulia: If I had Balls.. I would not like a hammer hitting on it .. thank God my balls are small and they are above my pussy...

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Magie: Love the Harlots...

Brittany: Love Atomic War Bride...

Lilly: are we going to have fum in Animal Festoval girls???

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Buy "Do Not Regret" first international album by Electrodeath
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Offline erich hess  
#5 Posted : 18 June 2010 13:26:43(UTC)
erich hess
Rank: Advanced Member

Groups: Moderators, Registered
Joined: 09/04/2010(UTC)
Posts: 42,771
Man
United States
Location: representing the 954

Thanks: 21790 times
Was thanked: 18031 time(s) in 10483 post(s)
erica:i'm not saying it's for everyone.but some people like having a hammer taken to their nether regions.

nina:or stilettos.most my clients op for them.

erica:ugh,those are too uncomfortable.when i'm beating the shit outta someone,i want to be comfortable.and mr cairo,you seem like just the sorta snake oil salesman we need.

nina:school of business? pah,i went to the traci lords school of erotic acting.graduated top of my class too.

erica:well,i gotta admit the ping pong ball trick IS impressive.
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"I'm not saying its even a good thing to own a chimpanzee. But that's freedom, folks." Alex Jones.
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